I Promise
by its'nayamarierivera'bitch
Summary: "Do I know you?" Brittany mumbled her hand sweating like a river as she look at the Latina in front of her, the memories of the past came flashing back like she was about to pass out. The wedding. The flowers. Everything. AU Brittana and Brittana. M for the succeeding chapters.
1. The Depression

**A/N: So, I was thinking of starting a new story, and here it is. (: Let me know if I should continue this or not. Thank you :***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. (It'll be named Brittana if I do. HAHA!)**

Brittany has been staring at the mirror for about 15 minutes now, looking at herself on how her perfect wedding dress hugged her body, on how the tight part stop by her hips and flow perfectly down to her ankles, how the strapless tube-like dress shows the perfect amount of her chest, not too slutty and not too prude. Her long blonde hair is put up into a beautiful braid. She smiled confidently and failed as her chest tightens.

She kept her hands on her chest as her heartbeat tried getting faster and faster. This is it! She's going to marry the love of her life, the most special person she ever met.

She sighed deeply calming her nerves as the tears are attempting to fall, she can't believe that this moment is going to arrive, walking down the aisle and meeting the most beautiful woman in her life, saying the most precious 'I do' aloud, shouting that she's officially and legally hers. She tilted her head and tried to swallow the lump in her throat, the makeup artist prepared this for almost two hours, and she's just going to ruin it? No.

She smiled smugly at the thought of wearing the ring that will bind them as one, but the pounding of her heart increased like it's going to pop out any second. Her hands sweat like a river as she placed it shakily over her wedding dress.

She closed her eyes and momentarily imagined on how her future wife will look like on her own wedding dress, her trance was disturbed when a sudden knock on her door blared all throughout the room and followed by Quinn's voice.

"Britt- you ready?"

She took another deep breath afore grabbing a piece of tissue by the makeup counter and dabbing it to the corner of her eyes carefully not to damage her eye liner. She again sighed deeply before smiling widely walking towards the door afore opening it revealing the short-haired blonde in her yellow strapless bridesmaid dress.

"Wow. You look amazing Britt." The shorter blonde breathed out looking at her best friend up and down her mouth ajar.

"You too Q. God I'm so nervous." She whimpered turning on her heels as she get back in front of the mirror flatting her dress.

"Why? You're getting married to the most amazing girl, you said it yourself." She mumbled as she followed the other blonde's trance, walking to the makeup table grabbing the blonde's bouquet of flowers.

"I know. God! I guess… I'm just really really nervous." She mumbled as she tried to keep her breathing normal.

Quinn dropped the bouquet and head towards the small table grabbing a glass of water and handed it to the taller blonde who's been continuously marching back and forth. Brittany took the glass and swung the content into her mouth. Quinn held her best friend's shoulder before ordering the other blonde to take a deep breath holding it a little afore letting the air puff out of her.

"She loves you." she said sternly her hazel eyes looked at those blue anxious eyes before giving her one last nod. And Brittany calmed automatically, by the time the little clinging sound blared she again tensed. It's time.

Quinn grabbed the bouquet of flowers before handing to the other blonde, and giving her one last smile before motioning her arm for the other blonde to link her arm. Brittany again sighed deeply before linking her arm with Quinn, gripping her bouquet like her life depended on it before turning on their heels out the door.

She haven't seen her future wife since yesterday, people were saying that it'll be a bad luck if they'll going to see each before the wedding. She pretty threw a tantrum hearing that she can't see her fiancé, but then she still obeyed her parents, 24 hours won't hurt they will be together forever. _Forever._

She smiled widely at the thought of them, being together forever. What will she call her wife by that time? Babe? Sweetie? Honey? Wifey? She even grinned widely as she can even picture on how her girlfriend will grimace at those endearments, and that's how Brittany liked it even, on how the other girl would say that she doesn't want any endearments but going to be mad if Brittany stopped to call her in any pet names.

"Miss, 5 minutes." Her trance was disturbed when the staff member suddenly called her attention, she snapped her head on his direction and nod subtly. She even gripped her bouquet tightly as she stood on the other corner of the church, she heaved a sigh at the thought of her future wife standing on the other corner.

The wedding sound blasted all throughout the church which made her hands sweat like a lake. The same staff member again poked his head before pulling the string and revealing the church's view.

The church is filled with the glowing color of yellow and black, it's pretty unique for anyone's taste, she can remember that they almost argue about the wedding's theme for she loves yellow and her fiancé loves black and they just decided to mix both colors to satisfy them and they made out after that…so yeah… she shook her head as she can feel her cheeks burning recalling that long and loud night.

She can see her family and friends sitting on the right row and her fiancé's on the left. They were all looking at her direction waiting for her final appearance, she can barely see what was there on the left corner she blinked her eyes and saw another woman wearing a beautiful wedding dress, it's more likely different on hers. She's wearing a strapless white dress that flows through her ankles as well, as the top revealed much of her chest, but not that much. She might have to sue the designer if they did so.

She can't help but smile at the view of her future wife, her long brunette locks flowing gorgeously. She can almost see that the brunette is shaking as she held her own bouquet near her chest. She smiled giddily at the view not noticing that she herself is holding her bouquet shakily. The music continued before hearing the staff member's voice behind her saying 'Go'.

She can't almost move her feet, her heart is like already there outside the church trying to get home. _She's nervous, problem? _She can see her fiancé started moving towards her, and that's what all it took for her own feet to start moving as well. She almost slipped and immediately tried to regain her balance, not too subtle Britt!

She watched how she get nearer and nearer to her love of her life, she can feel the stinging pain from her jaw for it start hurting she's been smiling since she got out the room. What? She frown at the sight that the Latina is not wearing the same smile as she does, she look so small and fragile, well maybe she's super super nervous.

Brittany looked at her thoughtfully giving her a little nod, as the brunette gave her a small smile and continued walking. By the time they were face to face, she can see that the brunette's brown orbs are gloomy and nervous at the same time. She held her bouquet on the other hand and offered her other's to her future wife, the Latina accepted it and intertwined her own quivering hands with Brittany. The blonde gave it a squeeze before giving the brunette the sweetest smile she could ever muster before facing the aisle dragging the brunette to start walking as well.

She can see the happy faces from her family and even her fiancé's. She smiled widely seeing her best friend Quinn by the aisle dabbing her eyes with a piece of tissue as she tried to look at Brittany happily. And even Rachel beside the other blonde is looking so happy at the sight of her and he fiancé getting nearer the priest.

Quinn gave her an assuring look as Brittany and her future wife faced the priest who will bind them as one, finally.

Brittany can barely understand what the priest was saying, all she could ever think of is that she's going to be with this woman forever. And the only thing that took her attention back to what the priest was saying is the question she had been thinking of for forever.

"Do you Brittany Susan Pierce take Santana Marie Lopez as your lawful wife?"

Brittany can't help but smile widely she can almost feel her mouth ripping off. This is it.

"I do." she answered enthusiastically glancing at the girl beside her. Seeing that the brunette has been biting her lower lip that for sure it'll bruise and her brown orbs never reached her blue ones. Brittany frowned at the sight and immediately tugged her lips to form a smile and faced the priest once again, _Santana's just nervous_ she assured herself.

"Do you Santana Marie Lopez take Brittany Susan Pierce as your lawful wife?"

Brittany glanced at Santana happily, waiting for the brunette to release those words. The pang in her chest automatically tighten as the Latina kept her head down and the church was filled with the most glass shattering silence.

"Baby." Brittany offered her hand and the brunette took it, Santana gave it a small squeeze afore letting go completely. The blonde almost whimpered seeing the tears falling from the Latina's brown eyes.

"Britt, I'm sorry." Santana mumbled before turning on her heels and running down the aisle, Brittany's eyes stayed on where Santana was standing just a while ago, her tears automatically fell and her chest tightened. She can feel Quinn's arms wrapped protectively around hers but she can't hear nor feel anything but Santana's last words and the brunette's last squeeze on her hand.

She can't stop her tears from falling as Quinn tried to calm her, she can hear the fading voice of Rachel yelling Santana's name. Her vision went blurry and black as she squeezed her eyes shut trying to wake herself up from this nightmare. _The worst nightmare_.

"Tell me… this i-is not h-ha-happening Q." she stuttered as she opened her eyes looking at the church's entrance not seeing any signs of the love of her life.

"Santana."

_**A/N: So there you go. Let me know people (: Continue or not? Thank you in advance.**_


	2. The Nightmare

A/N: Another Chapter let's see if you people wanted it :)

"Brittany S. Pierce!"

"Know what Q, I'm almost done here!"

"Really? Wow. You said that 20 minutes ago!" Quinn huffed as she continuously tapped her foot on the floor waiting for her best friend to come out. She has been waiting for almost two hours trying to get Brittany out of the bathroom for they will sure be late for their first client's photo-shoot. "Britt-"

"Done!" Brittany cheered as she opened the bathroom door revealing Quinn's brows furrowed and her lips pursed whilst both of her hands are securely placed on her hips. She swallowed dryly as Quinn continued glaring. This is one of the _scary Quinn_ she never wanted to encounter. Brittany again gulped dryly afore frowning as well looking at the blonde in front of her. "We're late Q." she mumbled seriously as she stepped forward avoiding the other girl's direction and walking towards her bedroom whilst trying to dry her hair.

Quinn's furrowed brows vanished as her mouth agape looking at her best friend just boldly walked on her and disappeared by her bedroom like nothing happened. Plus she ignored the _scary Quinn_ type. Seriously? She took like 2 hours inside the bathroom! Freaking two hours!

Brittany poked her head seeing that the other blonde froze on her place, she abruptly went to Quinn's bedroom and hastily grabbed her best friend's towel that has been hanging by her headboard and immediately went out afore handing the towel to the other blonde.

Quinn eyed her towel that the other blonde has been handing and back to Brittany who has been trying to contain her frown even though her lips are twitching to form a grin. She shook her head as she took the towel from Brittany's hands. "Seriously Britt?" she mumbled as she tried to stop herself from laughing at her best friend's nerve. "What were you doing inside the bathroom? You were like two hours in there!"

"That was only 1 hour and 46 minutes Q!"

"Like that's any differen-"

"Shower!" Brittany cut her off as she started walking away and disappeared by her bedroom door. Quinn groaned loudly as she stepped inside the bathroom thinking on how she would manage to have a shower within 10 minutes.

* * *

"There's a better light here."

"Yea, that's better."

Brittany and Quinn has been busily taking pictures here, fixing tripod there, adjusting the light here, ordering a better pose there and whatever a good photographer is trying to do. It's been 9 hours since they arrived at the venue and started taking and capturing pictures here and there.

Quinn sighed deeply as she placed the last tripod on their truck afore slumping beside Brittany who has been fidgeting her camera strap.

"You sure you don't want to come with us?"

"Yea, I mean I wanted to but I'm pretty tired though." Brittany mumbled before averting her eyes away from the hazel ones. Quinn has been bugging her right after Rachel called her and asked her if she's free for tonight. And Quinn on the other hand has been saying that she's not going if Brittany is not going with her, but then Brittany said no saying that she has something to do and stuff. And Quinn said 'yes' anyways so... _Love birds. _"Plus, I don't want to be a third wheel, you know."

"I told you, you're not. I can ask her to bring someone you can talk to." Quinn tried as she flickers her eyes trying to get the other blonde say 'yes.' She was pretty anxious about this second date with Rachel, and yes it was their 2nd date since Rachel told her that she likes her once in a party they both attended, not that they don't know each other, actually they were friends since high school, glee club and everything. They're even in celibacy club together, so the little brunette admitting her feelings is pretty shocking, not that Quinn doesn't feel the same way.

"Thanks Q, but I don't think that's a good plan." Brittany scoffed as she shook her head just like Quinn said something impossibly true.

"Britt- it's been a year and I think you should move on." Quinn snapped as her voice got higher than normal. She immediately calmed herself as she can see that Brittany snapped her head and eyed her questioningly. She didn't mean to bring something up. It's just the idea of her best friend trying to keep herself from dating other people kills her. She shook her head guiltily and sighed deeply afore letting her eyes meet the blue ones afore mumbling something and placing her hand on her forehead trying to swat some hair strands. "God, Britt. I- I'm sorry."

Brittany averted her eyes and stared on the empty space blankly as her brain started to process what Quinn just said. Her chest tightens as she tried to think about it, of course she already moved on. It's been a year, it's an enough time to think and let those feelings go away. So thinking about the same person who hurt you in the worst way possible is most likely to be the worst way to end your day. But she can't blame Quinn, right? She's just being the best friend she could ask for, protective and supportive in every way. "Its fine, Quinn." She mumbled.

She sighed deeply afore standing and offered her hand to other blonde to help her up. Quinn eyed her guiltily before taking her best friend's hand. "I'm just saying that-" Quinn started.

"C'mon you can't be late on your second date." Brittany mumbled cutting the other blonde off as they neared the truck.

Quinn heaved a sigh afore stepping in she can sense the incoming awkward silence so she broke the ice and talked about how nervous she is for her second date. She can feel the relief on her chest by the time she again saw the glimmer on her best friend's eyes. Right _never ever_ bring that up.

* * *

"You look, super awesome!"

"Yea?" Quinn questioned as she twirled for the 16th time. Brittany was about to answer when they both hear someone knocking on the door. Quinn automatically tensed as she gazed at her reflection on the mirror nervously. Brittany rolled her eyes playfully at her best friend's anxiousness afore standing and heading towards the door, revealing Quinn's date Rachel wearing the cutest dress she has ever seen, she gasped at the sight afore complementing the smaller girl who's obviously nervous as hell.

Quinn appeared out of nowhere behind Brittany whilst fidgeting the hem of her dress afore clearing her throat and Brittany smiled widely mumbling something like 'Sorry' afore stepping aside revealing the smaller girl on their doorstep. Brittany grinned widely as Quinn and Rachel looked each other like they're the best damn thing that happened in their lives.

Brittany eyed her best friend and Rachel looking at each other like they just waiting for someone to break silence, she cleared her throat and both girl's head snapped at her direction. "I think you're not going to make it in the concert if you're just going to stare at each other all night long." She chuckled, the other girls chuckled as well looking at their own shoes bashfully, and Brittany can see a tint of pink on both of their cheeks as they continue throwing each other meaningful glances. She can't help but be jealous at the sight of her best friend looking so happy and in love, _she knew that feeling. _She subtly composed herself afore mumbling something. "Plus, I don't want you to have some weirdly muscled legs for standing all night long."

"Right Britt, Anyways you sure you okay to be alone? I can text Tina to accompany you." Quinn mumbled as she tried to fish her phone from her pouch. Brittany giggled as she held Quinn's shoulder and carefully pushed her beside Rachel and placed her finger by her chin and hummed approvingly.

"You're right Q, you two look cute. Enjoy!" She muttered cheerfully afore holding the door knob and completely closing it, she can hear the dying voice of Rachel as she asked Quinn if she really said that, she can't hear what Quinn answered back but she's pretty sure that her best friend looked like a tomato right now.

* * *

"Britt, you still up?" Quinn called as she took off her heels and soothingly rub her ankles, fuck heels.

_Silence._

She walked down their hallway where her room and Brittany's are found. She took a glance on their digital clock by their coffee table and saw the artificial light that displays 1:42AM. Trying to keep herself from creating any sound for she knew that Brittany might already be sleeping tight, she will never try to keep her best friend awake if possible, she can almost count the times the Brittany had a good night sleep since the occurrence, if not a nightmare that'll keep her up or worst she can't just simply find some sleep and sometimes even sleeping pills won't work.

She was on her way to her bedroom when she abruptly stopped her heels by Brittany's door, she can hear muffled cries and sobs on the other side of the door. She sighed deeply afore leaving her shoes by the door and getting in completely.

She can perceive the other blonde's back as it continuously shook because of her sobs. She tip toed and drag her own body on the side of Brittany's bed afore kneeling down as she tried to connect her hazel ones to Brittany's blue. She watched her best friend who mournfully shut her eyes trying to stop her tears from falling, Quinn soothingly placed her hand by Brittany's forearm who tightly grips her pillow like her life depended on it. She can see the tears falling and the other blonde's sobs got even audible.

"Britt. It's okay." Quinn cooed as she continuously rubbed Brittany's arm. Brittany finally opened her eyes and she automatically latched her arms on her best friend's neck as she continued sobbing. Quinn can feel the warm tears on her shoulder and she can hear that Brittany has been muttering something but she can't quite figure it out for her sobs and hiccups came at the same time. "Shh." She whispered continuously as she tried to rub her best friend's back comfortingly.

Brittany loosened the hug and scooted to give Quinn space to sit down by her bed, as she continuously gripped on her pillow, Quinn sat down and reached for Brittany's lampshade and tugged the switch on revealing Brittany's tears stains and the fresh tears streaming down her face. Quinn immediately brought her hand by Brittany's cheeks and wiped the free tears by the back of her hand.

She can still see Brittany's shoulder that shook from time to time as her sobs ease off. She tried to look for Brittany's blue orbs and saw that the other blonde is looking at her hand blankly even though her tears are still from falling.

"Is it another nightmare?" she asked lowly. Brittany slowly nodded as a response. Quinn again heaved a sigh afore swatting some hair from her best friend's forehead.

"Do you need water?" Brittany bowed her head not giving any answer to her best friend's question. Quinn took it as a yes as she stood from Brittany's bed she can hear a shuffling sound from the other blonde, afore hearing a 'no', she snapped her head and literally jumped back to Brittany's side and hugged her comfortingly as Brittany continued crying by her chest. Quinn continued rocking her best friend until she can again form sentences.

"I-I'm t-trying, Q." Brittany managed to choke out as she clutched Quinn's dress tightly that it may rip off. Quinn continued humming as a response to keep Brittany talking, well it's more of stuttering as she tried to speak something out between hiccups and sobs. "I wa-wanted t-to fo-forget her Q, I-I wa-wanted t-to."

"I know, I know." Quinn managed to mumble as she continuously rubbed the other blonde's arm. "Shh." She can't help but the rage took over her senses, it's pretty hard seeing Brittany like this. You may see the happiness in her eyes by the morning but at the end of the day it'll end up gloomy and sad. It's been a long since she saw the bubbly and happy Brittany she knew, the last time was before the wedding. The wedding that left the other blonde broken and shattered.

"I-Im super m-mad at her, I h-hate her for leaving me, f-for doing that. She promised th-that she will never…ever leave m-me. And I-I believed that, I-I'm so s-stupid."

"You're not stupid Britt. I hate her for doing this too, you know. But still… we don't know what was her reason behind it." She tried to reason, it's not been a long time since she knew Santana as Brittany's girlfriend and the only thing she knew is that Santana loved Brittany and she wondered why the brunette would do that.

"I know. And I've g-gave her ti-time to ex-xplain. I waited Q, I waited f-for a year. Bec-because I knew that s-she has the best r-reason why she w-would do t-that, I was w-waiting for h-her to tell me th-that she just w-went to the bathroom or so-something, but she didn't. She just… left me there ha-hanging." It's true, it's been a year since Santana left the altar and ran. She never came back or even called the blonde why she left. Brittany even tried looking for her and everything, but nothing. And she hated Santana for that. "I hate her Q, I hate her. I really do."

Quinn didn't even respond and just continued rubbing Brittany's arm. It's been the first time since Brittany told her that she hates Santana in different voice, usually Brittany would end up saying 'but I love her' but now she knew that phrase wouldn't come out of Brittany's lips. Well, maybe this is a good thing for Brittany to fully move on and forget about that brunette she just used to know.

a/N: One word! REVIEW! :)


	3. The Encounter

A/N: Feel like updating, so there you go (:

Brittany playfully rolled her eyes at the sight of her best friend's brows furrowed whilst continuously tapping her pen by her chin as she try to check everything listed on their grocery list.

"Seriously Q, it's just grocery I can do it myself." She whined as she stood from the couch and placed her arm by the counter where Quinn has been studying the piece of paper.

"I think I should call Tina to cover for me in the studio." Quinn mumbled afore reaching out to her phone lying in front of her. Brittany automatically grabbed the phone gaining the other blonde's frown.

"You don't trust me? I'm hurt." Brittany muttered lowly as she continuously Quinn's phone by her chest.

"It's not that Britt. It's just the last time you went shopping, I told you to buy a cucumber for my salad and you bought nothing but green gummy bears and told me that they're both green so it doesn't matter."

Brittany ended up laughing, that's true she bought jars and jars of gummy bears and Quinn was super pissed. "What? That's pretty true. But seriously Q, I can do it."

"Fine." Quinn gave up and Brittany did a little happy dance earning the other blonde's fiery look. "But… if you bought something which isn't here, then No More Going to the grocery _alone_"

"Totes." Brittany smiled widely afore grabbing the piece of paper by Quinn's hand and slipping it to her jean's back pocket. "Bye Q." she hollered afore closing the door behind her.

* * *

Brittany's smile widen as she reached the first lane of the grocery store, this has to be the second time she will ever go shopping for their food. She gladly took a basket and put out the list that Quinn has written.

She was already on the last 4 items written when she can feel that someone has been watching her every step. Yes, she's pretty hot. But c'mon, hitting on her in a grocery shop is so lame. She glanced left and right if someone is watching her and she shrugged when she saw a couple of teenage boys looking at her and returned her attention back to the apples she has been holding. _Teenage boys._

She was about to fish out her phone to call Quinn and asked the other blonde if she likes red or green apple. Well it's better to ask her than go with either of it. She can sense that someone stopped by her side and didn't pay any attention, well maybe it's another shopper looking for apples. Of course!

She held out her phone and clutched it tightly as she tapped Quinn's phone number when she noticed that the person beside her is not moving, well she can see by the corner of her eyes that it's a girl, wearing a blue jean shorts and a white v-neck shirt plus the cutest boots ever.

Well not too subtle, she continued tapping her phone and pretended to continuously choose from green and red apple. She can see that the girl has been shuffling in her place and continuously looked behind and she can hear the girl mumbling something every time she does.

She took it as a cue to look at the stranger beside her, but by the moment she eyed the girl, the brunette was looking at the corner of the store and she can't really look at her face.

She was about to step forward to have a better look when the stranger snapped her head back to the apples, and Brittany's mouth almost fell to the ground at the sight of the Latina.

The person she never expected to see, here in the grocery store. Her blue orbs met the brown ones, she can feel the rage and excitement fill her chest.

"Britt." The brunette started afore smiling weakly.

Brittany suddenly clutched her phone tighter, she can hear Quinn talking on the other line but she can't move any of her limbs, the other holding a tray of red apple.

"Do I know you?" Brittany mumbled as her hand sweat like a river looking at the Latina in front of her, the memories of the past came flashing back like she was about to pass out. The church, the wedding dresses, the flowers and everything about what happened that moment everything flew back into her mind.

Santana eyed her questioningly as she tried to touch Brittany's forearm, the blonde automatically stepped back almost tumbling backwards, and the Latina automatically latched her arms on Brittany's. Brittany looked at the brunette's arm that has been confidently placed on hers and Santana immediately let go of the Brittany's arm mumbling a little sorry right after.

"I'm s-sorry if-if I can't remember you. I have amnesia and I guess everybody I knew doesn't know about it, so." She stuttered as she looked at those orbs. She kept her voice low and calm not to let the brunette notice any rage in her voice.

"What?" the brunette mumbled lowly whilst looking at the blonde her smile faded and her eyes was saying something.

"Yeah… and I have to go." Brittany mumbled afore grabbing the tray of red apples and completely walking away, she can still feel the brunette's eyes on her back.

She walked to the cashier hastily and paid everything she bought not even bothering looking around her.

Santana. The woman whom she loved and just left her by the altar.

"Miss, are you paying for those?" the cashier mumbled boringly as she pointed at the tray of apples in Brittany's hand. Her trance was disturbed and she looked blankly at the tray of apple and hand it to the cashier.

She immediately went out and get in the truck and drove away, not noticing that she has been clutching the steering wheel tightly her knuckles turning white. For God sake! She saw Santana.

"Britt! I told you green apple, not red." Quinn sighed as she rummaged the paper bag that Brittany shopped. She has been complaining for about 10 minutes now about the items the other blonde brought. And for that 10 minutes Brittany didn't snapped back or reasoned why she bought red instead of green and mumbling something like red is a happier color than green that's why she bought it.

Quinn averted her attention to her best friend who has been looking at the counter table blankly, she placed the piece of carrot by the sink and walked towards the other blonde.

"Britt, are you okay?" she inquired.

Brittany looked at Quinn, the tears already forming in the corner of her eyes.

"I saw her Q." she muttered. "I saw her, and I-I told her that I don't know her." And the fresh tears streamed down her face as she recalled the brunette earlier.

a/N: Review pretty pretty please (:


	4. The Game

**A/N: Another chapter people (: I hope I still caught your attention in this.**

"You just didn't do that." Quinn mumbled as she placed her hands on her temple looking at the other blonde in front of her impossibly.

"I panicked." Brittany muttered lowly as she continued playing with her fingers. "I'm not even thinking straight." She added as she took a deep breath calming her chest.

"You could've tackle or slap her the moment you see her. God!"

"I'm not going to do that."

"I know you wouldn't. But for the record, you told her that you don't know her, God Brittany! What do you expect me to say?"

"I don't know." She kept her eyes closed she can feel her chest tightens. "Well maybe I won't see her ever again."

"You don't know that, I pretty know Santana and I'm sure that she's going to look for you. I knew it!"

"She will not! And whether she did I'm going to make sure she'll _back off_." Brittany almost yelled, she again sighed deeply afore placing her hand by her forehead, she's pretty sure she's going to have a headache. "I hate her Q. I really really do."

Quinn too sighed deeply afore walking towards the other blonde putting her arms around Brittany giving it a little squeeze. "Sorry. I just don't want her to hurt you once again."

"I know , and I will never ever let her. I promise."

That's true, she hates Santana and she will do everything to let the brunette feel it.

* * *

Brittany has been looking at the door blankly as she played with her pen to keep her hands busy. She has a lot of editing to do, but she can't even think straight and do nothing but look at the door blankly. She can hear Tina talking and mumbling something behind her as the sound of the keyboard continued.

"Britt." Nothing.

"Britt!" Nothing. That's what it takes for Tina to stand and walk towards Brittany. "Seriously, Britt are you even here?"

Brittany's trance was disturbed when Tina continuously waved her hand in front of her. She took a deep breath and playfully rolled her eyes afore stepping away gaining a smirk from the small Asian.

"Oh you're here. Good. I thought I was alone." Tina mumbled as she got back to her desk and continued editing pictures. "I think you need coffee, Britt. No offense but you look like… the most beautiful shit."

Brittany stared at the other girl a little longer and remembered she haven't slept last night, the incident in the grocery shop kept on flashing back and the rage in her heart coils every time the brunette's voice played through her ears she can't just believe that Santana will appear out of nowhere.

Plus she hasn't had any caffeine this morning for Quinn has been bugging her to go to the studio early to keep her away from those thoughts, which failed. She can't stop thinking about Santana and the fact that she's really mad at the brunette. "You're right. I definitely needed some. Tons actually." She nodded afore standing and heading to the small coffee table.

She heard the chime jingled and followed by footsteps approaching the front desk where she sat. She heard Tina greeted the person and she didn't hear anything back, well maybe the person just smiled or something. Brittany shrugged and continued putting heap spoons of sugar on her cup, she was about to come out and ask Tina if she wants a cup of coffee herself when she heard another chiming from the door, indicating whether the person already went out or someone got in.

She can see that Tina momentarily froze in her seat and the smaller girl eyed Brittany like she was saying something. She just eyed Tina confusedly and continued making her coffee.

She took a piece of muffin by the counter and munched it into her mouth, she automatically froze when a sudden female voice spoke, like she was trying to whisper or something, well it's pretty useless for the room was eerily quiet and the only thing you can hear is the printer that continuously prints the new pictures they edited.

"So, is she here?" the female voice whispered. Brittany can't quite figure the voice for it was really trying to whisper.

"I haven't seen her, since I entered." A male voice retorted, it was a little audible and she can swear that she knew that voice. She can still see Tina that has been frozen in her seat and trying to tell her something. "Well, maybe she's not here." The male voice added. And now she figured whose voice was that- Puck. She can feel her heart raced and the thumping of her heart got louder. And now she's pretty sure that the female voice was Santana.

She clutched her cup of coffee tightly afore bringing a single digit by her mouth and motioned Tina to keep quiet. She immediately composed herself afore stepping out completely.

She was right, it was Santana. The brunette and the mohawk-haired boy immediately tensed. She walked normally whilst eyeing the pair in front of her afore placing the cup of coffee by her table. She placed her hands by her hips and cocked her head to the side and sternly looked at Santana, not just look, she freaking stare!

She was freaking nervous! But this? No more going back. She already told the brunette that she can't remember her then maybe she can start her payback. _And payback is a bitch!_

"You're the girl from the grocery." She started afore smiling sweetly, like Santana is just a simple client. She can see that Puck's mouth is widely open and she can feel that Tina has been burning holes on her head. Like what the hell is she doing?

"R-right." Santana stuttered as she stared at Brittany.

"I really don't know if I know you before the accident." Tina almost scoffed by the moment she heard Brittany, like what accident is she talking about?

"You do." Santana mumbled.

"She's your freaking ex girlfr- _Ow_!" Santana cut Puck off by elbowing him painfully in the ribs. The boy immediately brought his hand by his torso to ease the pain. Santana eyed him seriously afore averting her eyes back to Brittany.

"We're…um… friends." Santana answered.

_Fucking Liar. _

Brittany showed her fakest smile ever and nodded afore taking a sip of her coffee. "Well, I mean I haven't seen any pictures of you."

"I hate pictures." Santana immediately answered.

"Well then maybe we should have a formal introduction." She mumbled happily. "I'm Brittany." She added as she offered her hands to the brunette, thank God she was not shaking.

"I'm Santana." Santana mumbled afore taking the blondes hand and shook it. Brittany immediately felt the winding of rage inside her, the last time she held this hand was the time Santana gave her last squeeze and ran out the church.

"Nice to meet you, Santana." The game is on, bitch!

* * *

"Was that Santana and Puck I just saw in the driveway?" Rachel bounced on the door halting the current argument happening and completely gaining the attention of the three other girls. "I think I have the right to know what's happening in here." The small brunette mumbled as she walked towards Quinn and pecked the blonde on her cheek afore averting her attention back to Brittany.

"Hello to you too Rach." Brittany answered afore burying her head onto her arms.

"Britt, I'm telling you this is not a good thing." Quinn scolded as she kept her stern look at the other blonde and Tina nodded confidently.

"I think this is a good thing, Q. In this, I can take revenge and everything."

"I think I'm lost, what's happeni-" Rachel mumbled as she continuously blink her eyes.

"By playing that you have amnesia?"

"Yes!"

"I'm really lo-"

"Britt, that's dumb."

"Seriously babe, I don't get what you guys were talking abo-"

"I can do this Q."

"Of course you can. Then what? Hm? What's your pl-_hmp_." Quinn's rambling was cut off when she felt soft lips were pressed against hers automatically calming her nerves and she sighed onto the kiss afore kissing back.

"Just calm down." Rachel mumbled as she pulled away afore smiling sweetly, giving Quinn the chance to took a deep breath and eyed her girlfriend guiltily. Brittany giggled seeing that the fiercest Quinn is so so whipped.

"Fine. Fine. This doesn't mean that I agree with your plan, Brittany." Quinn as she cocked her head to the side to look at the other blonde sternly. Brittany smiled widely afore taking a step and latched her arms around her best friend and sighed deeply. "Thanks Q."

"I just don't want you to get hurt, I know that you know that. You're my not-blood-related-twin so, I have to be very very protective of you. "The hazel-eyed-girl muttered as a small smirk played along her lips and Brittany smiled sweetly in response.

"You guys know that I'm still lost, right?"

"Tell her, Tina." Both blondes mumbled in unison as they faced their own computers and started editing pictures. Completely ignoring the little diva's pout. Rachel whined like a child and walked towards Tina anyways.

Brittany momentarily looked at the door and the image of Santana running down the altar flashed back by that moment she made up her mind to make the Latina see what it caused her.

"I still hate her, even though she bought every imaging package we have." Quinn mumbled on the corner.

**A/N: Pretty disappointing, right? I'll make it up to you guys! Plus I promise to start Brittany's game by the next chapter. And please leave a review (: **


	5. The Camera

**aA/N: UPDATE!**

**Enjoy (: **

The shadowy ray of the sun sipping through the window woke Brittany up. She adjusted her eyes to the sudden brightness and fluttered her eyes open, she took a glance at her nightstand and saw that it's barely 6 in the morning it's not that this would be the first time that she would woke up this early and saw herself covered with sweats or her pillow would be wet because of tears. This time it's different, no nightmares and no more nights filled with sobs, she just woke up.

She placed her forearm by her forehead and stared at the ceiling blankly as she let herself lost in her thoughts. Quinn's right, Santana is going to look for her. She can't believe the idea that Santana simply appeared out of nowhere and act as if nothing happened. She even told her that they're just friends. For god sake! Friends? They were together for about 3 years and a half and she's just going to say that they're just friends? Jesus!

Pretending that she has amnesia is not that the best excuse to escape the fact that she's afraid and terrified to meet and see Santana once again, she sighed deeply at the thought of the brunette leaving her no choice.

Brittany propped her elbow and leaned her back against her headboard as she kept her knees touching her chest. She's scared that she has to communicate and see Santana once again, there she admitted it. She can feel the same nervousness and tension that flows through her veins just like the moment afore Santana left her by the altar with all tears. She knew that Santana loved her, the Latina always told her that, and she believed her. That's why she kept asking herself why. Why Santana would do that? Why Santana would leave her? Why Santana didn't even called her that she's safe and give a proper explanation? Brittany can feel the coiling of anger in her chest like it was began to throb as a lot more questions appeared in her mind.

She knew Santana, she loved the girl! Love-d! Past tense! And she will keep it like that.

"So what's your plan?" Quinn mumbled as she took a sip of her coffee afore looking at Brittany questioningly.

"I don't know." Brittany shrugged and managed to answer between chews of her cereal. Honestly, she has no idea what she was doing all she know is that by this she can make Santana suffer.

"You're kidding, right?" Quinn retorted as she knit her brows together looking at her best friend gaining a shrug as a response. "Brittany, you can't be serious." The other blonde added as she shook her head continuously afore emptying her cup.

"Guess what Q, I'm freaking serious." Brittany mumbled matter-of-factly receiving a deep breath from her best friend. "Q, I love you and everything, but please… just trust me, okay?" Brittany said lowly as she look for Quinn's hazel orbs afore stretching her arms to place her hand over Quinn's and giving it a little squeeze and the other girl smiled weakly in response.

"I just don't want you to get hu-"

"I know, you already told me that for the hundredth time." Brittany chuckled. "And I need you to just go with it."

"Fine. I'll just go with it, Okay." Quinn gave up. Brittany smiled widely she was a little startled when Rachel's voice rang all through the kitchen.

"She's not here, is she?" Quinn immediately shook her head and literally ran by the counter where her phone is lying, Brittany on the other hand let out fit of giggles as she saw Quinn talking to her girlfriend on the other line. She automatically straightened her seat when she saw Quinn finally dropped her phone back to the counter and head back towards Brittany.

"You're so whipped." Brittany muttered as she kept herself from laughing.

"I am not."

"Yes you are. What? You're just so in love that you even put your ringtone as her recorded voice yelling 'Baby I'm calling'? Because all of that screams whipped to me Q." Brittany chuckled as she imitates Rachel's perky voice.

"She wants it, okay?" Quinn grumbled as she shuffled uncomfortably in her seat.

"Oh tell me about it, is her ringtone 'Answer the phone baby, I'm calling.'?" Brittany teased as she imitated Quinn's voice. Quinn groaned in response as she stood and walked away leaving Brittany's eyes watering as she continued laughing.

* * *

Brittany has been editing and editing pictures for 5 hours straight and she can't help but look at the door for every two minutes expecting for the appearance of a certain brunette. She inwardly sighed and continued editing pictures. It's not that she's excited because she's going to see Santana again, she's excited because she knows that the game just began.

The chime jingled and she immediately snapped her head at the door's direction revealing the Latina she's been waiting for, holding a cup holder with four cups in it. She automatically composed herself and smiled widely at Santana afore greeting her warmly. Santana returned the warm greeting but the glint of hesitation is evident in her eyes.

She can see that there is her name written on the cup and says Latte. She inwardly sigh that Santana still know her favourite type of coffee. She wants coffee right now, like seriously she needs caffeine but receiving a cup of coffee from someone who hurt her so bad is just –hell to the no! Her trance was disturbed when Puck bounced by the door followed by Mercedes and Kurt holding a cup of coffee their selves. She can't help but smile for she missed those guys.

"Are these your friends who will join you for the photo shoot?" she asked innocently as she looked at the trio questioningly. Mercedes and Kurt returned the questioning look and Puck nudged them by the shoulder whispering 'Told you.'

"Oh yea. You saw him already, this is-" the brunette mumbled as she point out her allies.

"Puck." Puck cut Santana off as she waved his hand playfully.

"Mercedes." Mercedes started as she waved her hand as well. "You're favourite diva." The dark-skinned girl added as she playfully swatted her hands.

"Kurt." Kurt mumbled as he stepped forward and offered his hand to Brittany. "You're beloved designer." Oh how she missed these guys, Kurt even made their wedding dresses. She accepted the boy's hand and excitedly shook it. "Santana, I think you can't hold that forever." He again started as he quirked his brow towards the tray of coffee Santana has been holding.

"Oh yea." She said cheerfully as she swatted the piece of papers by Brittany's table and placed the tray of coffee. "Here, is for Tina." She mumbled as she raised the cup and stretched her arm to give to the cup to the smaller girl. Tina smiled sweetly in return afore returning back to her seat. Brittany subtly smiled for she knew she trained her friends well. _Just go with it._ And Jesus, who will not smile when you're offered free cup of coffee, c'mon.

"Is Quinn here? This is for her." Santana mumbled as she looked for the certain blonde. Quinn on the other hand appeared out of nowhere, scowl written all over her face as she stepped forward grabbing the cup of coffee, Brittany frowned at her best friend's sassiness and mouthed 'Be nice.' Quinn rolled her eyes playfully afore smiling sweetly at the brunette in front of her as she took a sip of her coffee the afore mumbling 'Thank you' receiving sigh of relief from the Latina.

"And ice latte for you." she offered the cup of coffee to Brittany a small smile playing in her lips.

Brittany can feel all the eyes plastered on her as she stared to Santana's orbs and back to the cup she has been holding. She wanted to grab it and immediately swung it onto her mouth. But the game just started, and she has to win this.

"I don't like ice latte." She muttered shortly as she took the strap of her camera by the corner and slung it onto her neck. "We better start."

"But… it's your favourite." Santana mumbled as she looked at the cup and back to Brittany who has started setting up the curtains and lights.

"Everything changed...since the accident, I guess." Brittany shrugged as she said it matter-of-factly. Santana's face automatically fell down as she placed the coffee back to the tray.

"I can use another cup." Puck mumbled as he tried to lighten up the mood. Gaining fit of giggles from Mercedes and Kurt.

* * *

"So for how long do I know you guys?" Brittany asked as she peeked from her camera afore clicking. Streaks of lights filled the room as the blonde continued taking of pictures of each poses they make. Brittany can't help but giggle on how hilarious they look at their own accessories. Puck wears a purple curly wig that falls down his shoulder and hilariously flips it back and forth, Kurt wears a huge dinosaur thing over his head as he playfully raised his both hands and pretended it to be fangs, Mercedes as well wears a rainbow coloured ponytail wig and Santana wears a fake moustache and cowgirl hat as she playfully rode Puck.

"4 years." They all said in unison as they posed for another shot. Brittany let out an impressed look and continued snapping pictures.

"So, I'm pretty sure that I have a best friend within the four of you." she giggled, as she kept giving side glances to the brunette who has been eyeing her tensely. Puck, Mercedes and Kurt immediately snapped their head at Santana gaining the confused look from the Latina. Brittany as well eyed Santana a devilish smirk playing along her lips.

"I bet it's… Kurt, he's pretty nice and I really like his outfit." She started afore averting her eyes to the taller guy.

"Why thank you for the complement Britt. But I don't think so, I mean we're pretty close, swear!"

"Well then, who?" she asked unknowingly. She kept her eyes alternating within the people in front of her. _Just Act!_

Everybody's eyes snapped to the Latina once again, and Santana laughed nervously as she phonily adjusted her fake moustache. "That'd be me." She chuckled anxiously as she raised her hand.

"Oh. Really?" she retorted. "You don't seem the type of person I'll get along with." She muttered seriously leaving the brunette mouth agape and the other three guys looked at their own feet guiltily. "I mean... what do I know? Right? I have amnesia. I can't remember anything."

"Totally." Quinn hollered from the front desk. Brittany let out a puff of air as she adjusted the light near Santana. She can feel the holes that Santana has been burning on her head for the brunette stayed frozen in her place.

"So Britt, when did the accident happen?" Puck mumbled receiving a nudge on his shoulder from Santana as the Latina widened her eyes at him. "What? I wanna know." He reasoned afore returning the nudging of his shoulder. Santana placed her hand by her chest protectively as she watched Brittany continued cocking her head to side as the blonde pretended to recall something.

"Accident? Well they said that I was hit by a car." She said matter-of-factly. She almost laughed at their expressions; Kurt had his hand placed over his chest as he tried to listen carefully. Mercedes have her mouth agape whilst having the most priceless expression ever. And Puck, well he's just being Puck looking at Santana as if he's blaming her. And Santana, Brittany can see the guilt written all over her face as she tried to run her hands through her brown locks. "They also said that it was right after this thing, I'm really trying to recall what this thing was and I ended up asking Quinn, my parents and everyone but they won't tell me. They kept on telling me that this thing keeps me depressed that's why I have to run away and there... be hit by a car." She shrugged. She watched on how Santana would react all the time she has been relating her lies, and she was pretty satisfied that the Latina looked nervous as hell.

"Puck, are you crying?" Kurt mumbled as he dabbed his little finger by the corner of his eyes.

"What? No." He answered automatically afore rubbing his eyes.

"Know what? I thank God for the accident though because finally ...I can't feel the pain it caused me." She muttered as she kept her eyes locked with Santana. Santana on the other hand immediately averted her eyes somewhere, not letting her eyes be met by Brittany's once again.

Brittany can again feel the pang in her chest as she looked at Santana's bewildered expression, she knew this look. This type of look that Santana will try not to everyone perceive, the little 'Tana inside, the scared and guilty little girl.

The usual Brittany will immediately wrap her arms around the brunette and cooed her but this time-no. The new Brittany will make sure to see that look every time the Latina is around.

_**Several years ago~**_

_Brittany sighed happily as she held the steering wheel tightly, it's the first time Quinn allowed her to drive their truck in the night, well it's really the first time, Quinn never allowed her to hold the wheel even though the sun is high. And she's sort of thankful that Quinn fell down the stairs and sprained her ankle for Brittany have to go down few blocks to buy some ointment for the other blonde. Quinn was even whining that Brittany just have to walk to be safer than to drive alone, but then we have the most genius Brittany here and grabbed the keys and head down the parking lot ignoring on how Quinn would yell and shout after her. So yea, technically Quinn didn't allow her, whatever! _

_She sighed deeply when she passed by the bridge and saw the shining and attractive lights coming from the city, the water reflects the light it streaks and gave this amazing view from the road. Thank god! It's pretty late that no more vehicles were passing by the bridge and honk on her or something so she automatically pulled over and grabbed her pink digital camera by the back seat, it was her parents gift for her in her 22__nd__ birthday and she values this camera more than anything, it's not the most expensive nor the latest camera but still it can capture every memories you wanted to remember and that's what important. Her parents even etched her name on it, and that's what makes her smile. _

_Well, still she don't have enough money to buy a more appropriate and more suitable camera for special events that she and Quinn accepts and they have to literally share with what Quinn has. But time will come though. _

_She smiled at the thought of it, afore grabbing her jacket and wore it. She carefully stepped out the truck and tip toed by the railings of the bridge and inhaled deeply. She can smell Christmas, getting nearer and nearer, it's practically snowing already but just a little not that it'll cover the whole road which she hates so much. _

_She brought out her camera and started capturing pictures the streaks of different colour of lights from the city. It's dark and the only thing you could see are the amazing and stunning lights that lightened the sea. The flashing lights coming from her camera lightened up the road, she was a little startled when there's sudden sound of explosion and different color of lights appeared and scattered in the sky. She smiled widely as she raised her camera to get a better shot, the fireworks show continued and she can't get enough as she slowly placed her camera by the railings and put up her feet one after another, she can feel her hand got clammy as she can see the sea's view from here, she's pretty scared of heights but not like Quinn. She's freaking standing in the freaking railings!_

_She slowly grabbed the camera as she tried to regain her balance, still the deafening sounds of the fireworks blared all throughout the place. She smiled giddily afore taking another shot as the firework show ceases. She was about to put her feet down when suddenly an arm wrapped around her stomach pulling her down she stumbled backwards and her butt met the cold floor, she automatically shrieked and the last thing she heard is the splashing sound of water beneath her as her hands got colder and empty. _

"_Oh my god. Look what you just did." She nearly yelled as she ran back to the railings and lowered her head as she can see the ripples of water got bigger and bigger indicating that her camera is gone. "Katie." She whined as the tears automatically streams down her face. _

"_Miss, can you just please step away from there." The stranger mumbled as she held Brittany's hand and drag the blonde away the railings. Brittany immediately took her hands away and placed it protectively over her chest. As she tried to wipe her tears away by the other. _

"_Who do you think you are? Huh? To just appear out of nowhere and pull anybody down?" she yelled she can now feel the rage in her chest tighten as her hiccups lessen._

"_I'm just doing what a normal person would do, I just saw you like a mad person standing by the railings so, as a __**normal person**__ I'm going to pull you down. Now you're mad? Wow! You're welcome." The brunette retorted sarcastically as she mirrored the blonde in front of her by placing her arms over her chest. _

"_What makes you think I'm going to jump? Huh?"_

"_Oh wow. Sorry because it's not every day that I am seeing crazy persons standing by the railings in the middle of the night." _

"_I'm taking pictures." Brittany mumbled angrily as the idea of her camera struck her mind, she immediately ran back to the railings and the brunette went autopilot grabbing Brittany by the waist and placed her back to where they were standing a while ago." And now, you just killed Katie." She muttered lowly as fresh tears crept down her cheeks. _

"_Oh my god, is that your sister?" the Latina asked nervously. "I sh-should ca-call someone. Oh God." The brunette stuttered as she shakily fished her phone out of her pocket. _

"_It's my camera." Brittany mumbled lowly afore she rubbed her eyes by her jacket. _

_The brunette's mouth agape as she stared at the blonde in front of her, like seriously? What type of person is going to name her camera? Like that's any normal? You name a cat, dog or bird, even lizard. But a camera? "W-what?"_

"_I named her Katie, and you don't care! I can name her Mother Theresa and you shouldn't care as well! You just killed her!" Brittany whined as she stomped her feet like a child whom didn't get her Christmas present._

_The Latina's eyed her bewilderedly as she saw the tears coming down from Brittany's eyes are real. She can feel the guilt pinching her chest. _

"_I'm sorry. I'll just get you a new one. I promise." _

"_Oh trust me, I will ask you to get me a new one, but Katie is different!" _

"_Oh. Well then, what kind of camera is Katie?" _

_Brittany composed herself whilst wiping the fresh tears that escaped her eyes afore leaving the brunette standing in the middle of the road afore giving the Latina one last glance before stepping in, she hastily grabbed her keys and started the ignition and drove away. _

_The brunette eyed her guiltily as she too slipped inside her own car afore taking one last glance where the blonde has been standing._

"_Quinn, I told you I can stay here alone. And you can rest at home" Brittany mumbled as she opened the studio's door and have Quinn tumbling after her. _

"_Oh after what happened last night?" Quinn mumbled as she took a seat by her table and immediately rubbed her feet, she still has a sprained ankle. Thanks to Brittany who went home super late last night holding nothing but her jacket._

"_I told you it wasn't my fault." She reasoned as she tapped the lights switched on. She remembered the girl last night, she smiled giddily at the thought of that stranger, her brown orbs that perfectly matched her brown locks. If it wasn't she was so depressed because of her camera last night then she would definitely hit on her. Quinn glared at her best friend who has been staring at the light switch smiling like a goof._

"_She's hot, isn't she?" Quinn asked as she looked at her best friend's expression._

"_Oh you have no idea." Brittany mumbled dreamily, gaining a smirk from Quinn. "But she killed Katie though. And now I have to buy another." She added lowly, Quinn nodded in response as she turned her computer on. Brittany lazily walked to the stock room to grab some materials, as she heard the chiming from the door. She shrugged and continued her walk to the storage room, she was startled when Quinn hollered her name like there's fire or something. She immediately ran to the front desk revealing boxes of different types of camera._

_Brittany and Quinn's mouth fell open as they stare at the stacks of boxes. Quinn nudged her by the shoulder when the delivery boy offered her a piece of paper, Brittany grabbed the paper and hastily wrote her name and signature afore giving it back to the boy. _

_They both stared at the boxes mouth wide open when they hear the chime went off. Followed by slow footsteps like it's testing the waters. Brittany snapped her head by the door and her jaw almost fell to the ground, the girl from last night is standing by their studio's front door. Are these cameras from her? _

_She can feel her hands got clammy and sweaty as her blue orbs met the brown ones. The Latina ran her hands through her brown locks nervously afore mumbling something_

"_You didn't answer me when I asked you what type of camera Katie is, so. I thought to myself that I should buy every single type just to be sure." The brunette mumbled guiltily as their eyes still connected to each other. _

_Brittany can feel the excitement flowed through her veins. "It's a Canon." She mumbled expressionlessly as she continuously stared at the girl. _

"_Oh, good. I think I bought something named like that. I don't know anything about camera though." The brunette chuckled nervously. "And I'm so sorry for what happened. I'm Santana by the way." She added as she walked towards Brittany afore sticking out her hand for a hand shake. _

_Thank God, she's not shaking as she held out her hand and shook Santana's. "It's okay. And I'm Brittany." Finally she can tugged her lips to form a smile without her lips quivering as she felt safe with the warmness this woman's hand is emitting. And Santana returned the sweetest smile Brittany has ever seen._

_She knew she has to know this woman not just her name._


	6. The Plan

A/N: UPDATE!

"_Babe, what should I get you?" Santana questioned as she continuously stared the café's menu. _

"_I really don't know. Every time Quinn and I go here, she always orders and I just drink anything she gave me. " She shrugged. "And it was good though, but the first time I asked her what the coffee name was and she ended up telling me that it's Chocolate Dalmatian? Like seriously? Dalmatian? I almost spit it on her." Brittany grimaced as she recalled that yes she almost spit on Quinn. Quinn just ended up laughing her ass off._

"_I have tasted it, it's really good though."_

"_The second coffee we had, again I asked her, she told me that it was an Irish coffee." Brittany said as she shook her continuously. "I mean… what if I ordered African coffee, are they still going to give me a black one? Because that just totally racist." Santana can't help but laugh at her girlfriend's babbling. She loves this part of Brittany, well she loved everything about Brittany but this side is just what she really loves the most. Just the real her. "I'm not going to wonder if there'll be a Zebra Mocha at the end of the month." The blonde chuckled as she turned her attention back to the menu. _

"_Oh trust me babe they already named something like that." Santana managed to utter between fit of giggles as Brittany slowly lifter her head and looked at her confusedly. "And it's pretty good." The Latina added as she looked at her girlfriend seriously. _

"_You're serious." _

"_Uh. Yeah." Santana mumbled matter-of-factly._

"_Know what whatever. I love coffee but their names, it just confuses me." The blonde muttered as she placed the menu card in front of her. _

"_Oh. So I get to order?" the brunette asked as she shimmy in her seat excitedly. She took one last glance on the counter and placed the menu on the table as she smiled sweetly at her girlfriend. _

"_Guess so." Brittany answered as she looked at her girlfriend suspiciously. "I don't like the way you look Santana." She added as she cocked her to the side, side glancing the brunette. Santana continued looking at Brittany before spinning on her heels and head towards the counter. _

"_Here you go babe." Santana said happily as she took her seat holding two cups of coffee. Brittany took her cup as she smiled giddily at Santana and propping her elbow to peck the brunette on the lips. _

_Santana watched the blonde took a sip of her coffee as she observed on how Brittany's facial expression changed. _

_The blonde stared at Santana as the bitter sweet taste of the coffee struck her throat. She almost laughed when her girlfriend has been eyeing her anxiously. It's not that she knows a lot about coffee like Santana, but this girl is an expert, this is just really good._

"_Sooooo? It's an Eggnog Latte, but I asked it to be iced. Coz' you said that you don't want anything hot right now." Santana rambled as she fiddled the lid of her own cup whilst Brittany just stares at her lovingly. "Except for me of course."_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you too." _

"Eggnog Latte, I see. Not really your choice." Puck teases as he tapped Santana's shoulder before taking a seat in front of the Latina.

Santana sighed deeply as she took another sip of her cup of coffee, she has been sitting here in the café for about 2 hours just staring at the door and enjoyed herself every time the chime jingled. By the time she woke up, oh well as if she had a slept last night, 3 straight nights actually. She can't take Brittany's words off of her mind, the blonde's words are like a bottle of cold water continuously pouring on her.

_Well they said that I was hit by a car._

She can hear Puck babbling about something and she just smiled and nodded to keep her friend talking even though she don't understand every single bit he was talking about. All she can hear is Brittany's voice telling those words, God! She got hit by a freaking car! And it's all her fault.

It's been three days since the last time she saw Brittany in her studio, and she tried really hard to stop herself from coming back, she kept on thinking about what happened that day. On how Brittany would laugh and ask everything about their friendship, and the blonde just nodded as if she believed everything.

Of course she will agree she has a freaking amnesia!

"I'm so guilty." She breathed. She let out a defeated sigh as she placed her palms by her forehead and closed her eyes. "She could've died, you know." She mumbled lowly. What if that happened? She will never know what she's going to do.

"Right! And she could've hunted you in your sleep." Puck chuckled, he automatically composed himself and eyed the Latina seriously when Santana started glaring at her. "Just saying."

"Seriously, Puck I don't know what I'm going to do right now. Now that she can't remember everything. About me. About us. About the wedding. I don't know where to start." She reasoned, she can feel her eyes watering as her chest tightens so she coughed lightly to pull herself together and not to let those tears fall. It's not that Puck hasn't seen her cry, they're been best friend since high school and if there is something she wanted to hide and not let everybody see then Puck already knows that even though she don't utter any word.

"I mean it's not cool to cry inside a coffee shop but I think you should let those tears fall. It's okay San." Puck cooed as he gave Santana's hand a squeeze, and that's what it takes for the Latina's tears to fall and rolls down her cheeks. She immediately brought the back of her hand by her cheeks to wipe the tears that freely fell. "Shhh."

"It's my f-fault, you k-know. I'm fu-fucking stupid to do that." She stuttered as the tears continued falling. They sort of got weird looks from the other customer, but fuck 'em. They know nothing! Puck just smiled dopily at them and mouthed 'sorry' as he continued rubbing the brunette's arm soothingly. "I mean I love her. I love her Puck! I still do and I can't believe that I just left her like that."

"You're sort of stupid, yes. But we can't change anything San. It already happened." He muttered as he searched for the Latina's eyes. "Look. She can't remember anything about you, about your relationship and especially the wedding. It means that the two of you can start all over again." He added, he knows Santana and her knows that the Latina loves Brittany and that the brunette will do everything to get the blonde back.

**Start all over again.**

**Start all over again**

**Start all over again**

**Start all over again**

Santana stared at her best friend as her tears automatically ceases. The idea of starting all over again is the best thing she has ever heard since the moment she saw Brittany in the grocery shop. She automatically stood and latched her arms around Puck's neck hugging him tightly as she kissed his head.

"Thank you! Thank you!" she chanted as Puck struggled to get off from Santana's assault.

"Get off me." Puck groaned whilst Santana continued hugging her, he can see thee weird looks coming from the other customers as they stare at them. He was a little startled when one of the waitresses walked towards them, the blonde haired woman was nearly 30 and Puck's mind automatically went off the drainage. He abruptly held Santana's arm and unlatched it from his neck, the Latina eyed him confusedly, so she followed Puck's trance and saw that he was staring at the waitress in front of them.

Well the woman was pretty hot and whatever, Puck is always like this. His mouth slightly ajar and his eyes widening.

"You guys were pretty cute couple but… I think you should keep it low." The blonde started as she looked back and forth at the pair.

"Couple?" Santana scoffed as she tried to stop herself from giggling. "We're not a couple. I'm gay."

"She's gay. And I'm single." Puck muttered blankly as he ogled at the woman in front of her.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh hey, Puck your wife just texted. She thinks your baby is hungry." Santana mumbled as she held Pucks phone and act as if she's tapping something. The blonde waitress automatically turned on her heels and walk away leaving the Mohawk-haired boy's mouth open.

"You're kidding."

"Sort of. C'mon drop me off at Britt's studio." Santana teased as she held the boy's arm playfully and dragging him out the café.

"She's hot!" Puck whined.

"Like every girl you see is not hot." She teased. "I gotta see my Britt-Britt. I'll make her mine once again."

She'll do everything for Brittany and that's the only way she know to make the blonde hers once again whatever it takes.

A/N: I just needed to update. God! I feel like shit in this. Anyways review please.

And the next chapter will maybe on weekends :)


	7. The Test

**A/N: So technically, I've updated 3 times this week! Yay me Yay us! :D**

It's been 4 hours since Brittany has been continuously glancing by the door for every 5 minutes and every time the chime jingled it's like she's going to have a panic attack.

It's true she's expecting Santana to arrive and say another lie. For God sake another lie!

"Don't tell me that I didn't warn you if you had the worst stiffed neck." Quinn said whilst her eyes are still plastered on her computer without bothering to look at her best friend who has been distracting her in the last 4 hours.

"You think she already did **back off**?" Brittany asked whilst her eyes still pasted on the door before eyeing her best friend questioningly. She was sort of disappointed when she hasn't seen Santana since the last three days. It's not that she misses her, it's just this game it's just fun and she really wanted to make something out of this lie.

"I don't know. Well maybe she's just too busy preparing castle of marshmallows for you."

"That's not funny Q." she muttered seriously.

"What? She already did that, a castle of fucking gummy bears." Quinn teased as she wiggled her brows playfully. "So I'm not going to wonder if she drags you out here and brings you somewhere that'll show you your marshmallow castle." She added matter-of-factly. Brittany smiled shyly before averting her eyes somewhere to avoid Quinn's playful gaze.

And it's true, in their first anniversary Santana brought her in this place that looks like a castle and when they entered it was filled of gummy bears and lots of candies. She can't help but smile like a goof when she remembered that, she abruptly grimaced and hiss in pain when something hit her in the head.

"What the fuck Q?" Brittany huffed whilst rubbing the right side of her head.

"I'm just dragging you out from your daydreaming Britt. Remember you're mad at her! She left you in your god damn wedding! That's what you always need to put inside that head of yours" She can again feel the anger swell in her chest as she absorbed what her best friend has been trying to say. Yes, she admitted that she's pretty happy that she saw Santana, safe and sound for she never saw the brunette after she left her, but then the Latina lied to her that they're just friends without bothering to tell her the truth and that is just something that increased the pain and anger she felt.

"I for one know that. And I will never ever forget that!" she reasoned as she picked the pen that hit her before throwing it to Quinn's direction, well luckily Quinn was always a good dodger and she immediately avoided the flying pen from Brittany, she just stick out her tongue and eyed the other blonde playfully.

"Just making sure Britty." Quinn laughed as she averted her eyes back on her computer and the other blonde did as well.

They both snapped their head when the phone rang, and Tina abruptly ran by the counter and answered the phone. Brittany eyed Quinn questioningly when she heard Tina saying something like 'We're on our way' like she was really on a hurry followed by 'We're so sorry.' Quinn just shrugged in response and continued listening at the other girl. Tina immediately put down the phone and ran to the storage room, whilst the both blondes exchanged curious looks.

"T, who was tha-?" Brittany asked but shortly cut off when the Asian glared at them holding tripods in both hands.

"Spill it, two of you. Who agreed to shoot for Mr Johnson's calendar? Because he said he talked to someone who's blonde and I really don't know who." Tina huffed whilst stuffing everything they needed by the door.

Brittany eyed Quinn because swear to God, she never talked to someone named Mr Johnson, or maybe she did? She can't remember anything! Quinn on the other hand automatically tensed and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Quinn!" Tina breathed heatedly. Brittany smiled subtly, she don't know she just love it every time Tina gets mad, well Tina barely gets mad for she always smiles or ignore everything around her but when she does better hide already.

"Sorry! I may have..talked to him and sort of agree about the job. And I may have forget to tell you guys becau-" she was abruptly stopped when Rachel came bouncing by the door, her usual happy look written all over her face and Quinn immediately smiled then she was about to stand but instantly stopped when Tina started glaring at her, she rolled her eyes before looking straight back to the smaller girl. "Because of that." She ended whilst pointing a finger to Rachel.

"Uh. Excuse me?"

"Shut up Rach." Brittany mumbled as she gathered everything they needed for the photo shoot gaining a questioning look from the small brunette. "Everything ready T." she announced as she clasped her hands together.

"Great. C'mon let's go." Brittany and Tina immediately walked towards the door and noticed Quinn is not following their lead out the studio. They both snapped their head and Tina almost lost it when Quinn was there, enthusiastically chatting with her girlfriend whilst Rachel comfortably sat on the blonde's lap. And oh they managed to laugh, ignoring the glares Tina has been throwing. "Seriously Q?"

Quinn just shrugged motioning to Rachel. Tina just let out a defeated sigh before turning her back to Brittany as they walked out the door. "One thing! No sex in here!" the Asian nearly yelled as she poked her head inside the room, halting the two girls in their conversation before she ran after Brittany who has been stuffing their materials behind the truck.

"I don't know if I should be happy that she got a life or be mad about it." Tina muttered in her breath as she placed the third tripod on its place. Brittany just chuckled in response whilst closing the back door. She was about to walked by the passenger seat when someone coughed behind her.

She slowly spun around and almost swallowed her own tongue when she was met by the familiar sweetest smile and those orbs she love-d the most. Her mind automatically went on and ordering her to play her act.

"Hi." Santana mumbled waving her hand at the blonde in front of her.

"Hi." Brittany mumbled back whilst mirroring the brunette's smile. "How are y-?" she was stopped when the honking sound blared all throughout the place. "I love to chat but I really have to go." She uttered motioning to the truck.

"Oh well perfect. I mean… I don't have something to do so maybe I could help." Santana mumbled hopefully. Brittany can't help but stare at the brunette when the moments that the Latina came to help her when she has some shooting to do and everybody's too busy.

"Oh you don't have to do that." Honk!

"No, really I love to."

"Seriously Santana, you don't have to." Honk!

"No Britt. I insist." Brittany smiled widely when her nickname reached her ears. Still she loves the way Santana mumbled her nickname, like it was the best thing she has ever said. But that'll stay just that, she swears!

"Brittany!" Tina by the window hollered furiously.

"Fine." She gave up, she knew that even though she said 'no' for the hundredth time Santana will still be following their truck and help them. So whatever, it's her choice and she has to deal with it!

The brunette grinned widely as she turned on her heels and walked towards her own car, Brittany ran to the passenger seat gaining a glare from the furious Asian she just shrugged and Tina immediately started the ignition and drove away.

* * *

"Why is she here?" Tina whispered as she looked at Brittany confusedly, she can see Santana on the corner of her eyes holding tripods in both of her hands and she was trying to sling one camera onto her neck.

"She said she wanted to help, and I'm making her." She said nonchalantly subtly eyeing the brunette.

"Really?" Tina questioned before leaving the blonde and walked towards Santana who has been trying to balance everything in her arms.

Brittany eyed Santana as she came to think what would be her real reason to put this woman in this situation, well fuck it! Santana made her choice, and Brittany will make sure the Latina will back off completely and she'll win this game.

"What floor was that?" Santana asked as she raised her head and looked at the building in front of them, she can't help but swallow dryly at the sight. This is freaking tall!

"If I'm not mistaken, Mr Johnson said it was on the 23rd floor." Tina answered matter-of-factly as she tapped her phone checking if she was right. "Yep 23rd." She confirmed. And Santana just nodded blankly in response.

"I feel like taking the stairs." Brittany said out of nowhere, as she too grabbed another reflector. "I mean... I haven't run for a long time and it burns the same calories as taking the stairs, so." She shrugged. Like seriously? What type of person will take stairs if the elevator is working?

She almost burst out laughing at Santana's reaction who kept her mouth ajar and who was practically frozen in her place. Tina eyed her confusedly as the Asian 's reaction was pretty the same with Santana. "Right T?" Brittany asked more or demanded Tina to agree.

"Haha! That's really funny Britt. 23 floors? Stairs?" Tina laughed as she stared at Brittany who has been subtly eyeing her dangerously, she immediately composed herself before bobbing her head up and down. "Is totally… fun." She added as she returned the gaze Brittany has been giving her.

"Really fun!" Brittany cheered as she clapped her hands.

"Right." Tina muttered as she kept her eyes closed so she can stop herself from killing her friend, she just nodded and started walking by the entrance leaving the two girls behind.

"I mean Santana it doesn't mean that if we're taking the stairs, you have too as well. You can take the elevator if you want and just wait for us." She shrugged while she kept on giving Santana innocent look.

Santana on the other hand just stared at her like Brittany was insane person, but the idea of giving the blonde everything hit her and she immediately shook her head before adjusting everything in her arms.

"I'll take the stairs with you guys." The brunette mumbled as she tried to balance everything she has been holding in her arms. Brittany subtly smirked before nodding as well.

"You sure?" Brittany mumbled over her shoulder as she turned on her heels and followed Tina inside the building. Santana frantically bobbed her head up and down before following Brittany's lead.

She may have to kill Brittany after this, like what the hell? 23 floors? Are you fucking kidding? And that's not a question. She sighed deeply before smiling widely as she recalled what Puck said about starting all over again, if taking the stairs for fucking 23rd floors is needed then she will do it in order to get Brittany.

"Fuck." She whispered for Brittany not to hear. Then the blonde may think that she's not happy because of doing this. Because she's freaking ecstatic to take stairs all the way to the 50th floor as long as Brittany wanted it. And oh thank you for her wearing fucking 2 inches heels. **Just Great!** She almost bumped into Brittany when the blonde suddenly stopped before her.

"What was that Santana?" Brittany questioned as she cocked her to the side and looked at the brunette accusingly.

Santana held her breath for seriously she just whispered that.

"I said…um…fu-…fudge! I s-said fudge." She stuttered. "I want fudge after…this. C'mon Britt. We still have 22 floors." Santana babbled nervously as she strolled faster leaving Brittany behind her wearing a bewildered look.

* * *

"Sweet! I like that pose! Hold it a little." Brittany ordered as the model continuously followed her instructions.

The moment they reached the glorious 23rd floor the three of them look like shit, like seriously. All of them covered in sweat and everything. Thank God she wore her sneakers instead of something high and has a massive sore ankle after this, she kept her eyes to Santana all the way up here, she was a little disappointed when she saw nothing but smiles and beams from the brunette, she even winked at Brittany when they reached the last floor.

She almost lost and burst out laughing when Santana almost slipped for for God sake she's wearing heels, Tina always throw her meaningful glances before looking at Santana before them. Brittany just shrugged and smirked before looking at the Latina as well who pretty enjoyed the way up here.

"Turn around and put your head back." Flash.

"I love that!" Flash.

"August please" Brittany hollered as she swung the bottle of water onto her mouth. She was about to get back to taking pictures when Tina grabbed her by the wrist dragging her by the computer where most of the basic editing is done.

"Britt, I think we need more light." Tina mumbled anxiously. "It's sort of dark here-" the Asian added whilst pointing somewhere on the computer screen.

And yes it was indeed dark. Crap and she can't go down right now to get another light. And Tina was also pretty busy editing pictures. And they badly needed someone to go down and get another light by the truck.

She turned her head side by side landing her eyes on the Latina who has been subtly looking at girls who's wearing swimsuits and lingerie the brunette was practically drooling. Santana has been wearing this famous smirk of hers when she subtly checked out girls.

Brittany automatically frowned and eyed the Latina dangerously, unfortunately Santana has been very busy looking at the models that were nearly naked strolling and running inside the room. The brunette even talked to one the girls and the brunette model was practically laughing at Santana's words. Brittany almost lost it, instead she just rolled her eyes.

Brittany took it as a cue to get near Santana and accidentally tackled the brunette model causing her to land her fucking boobs almost near Santana's face. She immediately tugged the girl back to where she was standing and noticed that Santana has been blushing, she widened her eyes at the Latina before mumbling something.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry." She mumbled whilst keeping her eyes at Santana, the Latina just shrugged in response. Brittany smiled at the other brunette who just rolled her eyes and walked away. "Bitch." She mumbled as she returned her gaze back to Santana.

"Me or her?"

You. "Her." she said sternly gaining Santana's questioning look. "Anyways. Could you do me a favour?" Brittany mumbled as she clasped her hands together and smiled at sweetly whilst her eyes flutter feverishly.

She hates to this but.. Fuck it!

"Sure." Santana excitedly told the blonde as she get up and walked towards Brittany.

"Could you get me some lights from the truck?"

"Sure. Keys?" Brittany handed the keys to the brunette before Santana smiled widely and walked away.

"Here you go Britt." Santana mumbled breathlessly as she handed the lights to Brittany.

"Thank you so much San." She said. She can that Santana practically held her breath, and Brittany can pretty see that the Latina's tanned cheeks is blushing. Santana smiled sweetly before turning on her heels she was on her way back to where she can ogle at the models when Brittany again mumbled something.

"I hate this. But we need another tripod, can you please, you kno-" Brittany rambled purposely.

"Sure thing." Santana cut her off and again smiled sweetly before walking out the door.

Brittany smirked devilishly when she saw Santana nearly sprinting out the door. _You're doing it right Britt. _She missed this side of Santana, whipped and everything. And before, she sort of hate when Santana do everything for her, because of the talks and everything. But now? Hell if Santana do everything for her she'll accept it all smiles.

* * *

"Here." The brunette panted as she again handed Brittany everything. Brittany smiled fakely before giving Tina a wink.

"Oh God! I'm really hungry." Brittany whimpered as she adjusted the strap of her camera watching Tina took over the taking of pictures.

No she's not hungry! For God sake Quinn almost tackled her for not eating everything the other blonde prepared.

"I can… um get you something to eat if you want." Santana offered before sitting beside the blonde and rubbed her ankles.

"Really?" Brittany asked innocently.

"Yeah sure."

"Thanks." That's what it took for Santana to walk away, leaving Brittany grinning widely. Another 23 floors! She composed herself when she saw Tina walking towards her and Asian seems not to be really pleased with what she was doing.

Since the first day Tina and Quinn is not pleased at all. They even told Brittany about the possible consequences with this plan, and the worst is, her falling in love again with Santana and that's just never gonna happen. She made up her mind that she will do everything to make the Latina back off and feel everything she felt. Everything!

"What are you doing Britt?"

"Just curling up." Brittany shrugged.

"You know I'm not talking about that. What are you doing?" Tina huffed as she pointed at Brittany.

"Nothing." Tina let out an unimpressed look and Brittany took a deep breath before talking. "Fine. I don't know, Okay? I want her to suffer."

Tina sighed deeply as a response before walking away. Brittany placed her hand by her forehead before closing her eyes.

I hate her.

I hate her.

I hate her.

She was a little startled when an abrupt footstep was approaching her. She immediately snapped her head and was greeted by Santana's tired look but still her smile never fades and the persistence was still written all over her face gaining Brittany to frown. What? She wanted Santana to hate her.

"Grilled cheese burger?" Santana offered as she handed out the paper bag.

"I'm full." Brittany answered shortly giving Santana a glare before walking away heading beside Tina. Leaving the brunette's mouth ajar.

"Brittany, we need another model. This one is sick and she needed to go." Mr Johnson's assistant said as he tapped the blonde model's shoulder, seriously this one looks like shit. Brittany sighed and nodded as the model walked out. "We don't have anyone for December."

Brittany bit her lower lip as she scanned the room for possible models when her eyes landed on Santana who has been hungrily eating the grilled cheese burger she bought. Brittany subtly smiled and immediately composed herself when the boy has been eyeing confusedly, he followed Brittany's trance and smiled widely as he walked towards Santana.

Brittany giggled when the boy held Santana's arm and he dragged the Latina in front of the blonde, she can't help but giggle when the brunette was still chewing and she has her both hands practically placed by her mouth.

"You need something Britt? You know you could've just called me personally than this midget dragging me in here." Santana nearly yelled the last words as she threw the boy glares. "Why are you giggling?" the Latina questioned when she noticed Brittany has been giggling since she removed her hands.

Brittany just pointed at the cheese stains by the Latina's mouth and Santana just eyed her confusedly. Brittany giggling held out her handkerchief and dabbed it by the corner of Santana's mouth. Santana's chocolate browns met Brittany's ocean blue, the connection oozing out their gazes as the image of Santana's last gazes was the day before the wedding hit Brittany ordering her to immediately take her hand away startling Santana. Instead she grabbed Santana's hand and rudely placed the cloth in the tanned hands.

"Cheese." Brittany mumbled shortly as she avoided Santana's confused looks.

"Miss, we need you to be our December model." The small ginger-head boy pleaded Santana.

"Excuse me? You dragged me in here to be your model? I know I'm pretty hot but-"

"Please Santana." Brittany mumbled lowly. And she knew by that Santana will agree. Whipped!

"Fine." The boy applauded enthusiastically as he dragged Santana out of Brittany's gaze.

Brittany has been helping Tina to edit and look for good pictures for the calendar when someone tapped her by the shoulder and she immediately snapped her head revealing Santana wearing a pair of white polka dotted swimsuit.

Brittany composed herself for she was practically drooling at the sight of Santana who's awkwardly trying to block her pair of twins and her-you know. But still she can't take her eyes off of the Latina because after a long time she again got the chance to look at those abs. Help!

Her trance was disturbed when Tina nudge her by the ribs, facing the smaller girl whilst Tina got her eyes widen.

Brittany walked pass by Santana gaining everybody's confused look as she grabbed one of the assistants dragging her by the middle of the room.

"I think she's better." Brittany mumbled as she head towards the tripod avoiding everybody's confused looks. She can feel everybody has been burning holes on her head as she continued ignoring them. She sighed deeply before turning her attention back to everyone seeing she was right all of them looking at her like she's an insane person.

She eyed everyone sassily gaining everybody's nervous look as they shuffled and get to what they were doing earlier. Mr Johnson's assistant immediately grabbed the other brunette by her arm dragging her to the dressing room. She utterly eyed Santana, the brunette just smiled in response before heading back to dressing room to change.

"Brittany, thank you so much!" Mr Johnson said as he shook Brittany's hand.

Brittany and Tina was on their way out the door when Tina again nudged her by the shoulder motioning to Santana who has been peacefully had her eyes closed. Brittany just shrugged and held Tina's wrist as she tip toed out the room leaving Santana behind.

"Let's just see if she won't back off this time."

**A/N: I really hate Britt right now. Anyways review and let me know what you think.**


	8. NOTE

OMG, the next chapter is almost done. But still I don't have the name for the hideous girl that has been flirting with Brittany. Please I need NAMES ! Suggestion please. Thank you :) It's supposed to be out by tomorrow so that I can update again by Friday.


	9. The Jealousy

**A/N: Thank you for those who suggested some names. (: I'll be using those anytime soon. **

**Enjoy !**

Santana pulled into the parking lot of Brittany's studio. There were several cars, it was a month before Christmas after all and Santana managed to squeeze into the spot reserved only for the employees inside the building.

She took a deep breath before turning off the engine, she's tired as hell. Like super tired, imagine those things Brittany asked her to do? The typical Santana would automatically go all Lima Heights on their sorry asses, but its Brittany we're talking about, no one but Brittany asking her to do such things then all smiles is the only thing she can offer.

Last night, It was almost 8 in the evening when someone tapped and shook her in her sleep, she almost swatted the hands that continuously shook her, she can hear him mumbling something which she can't understand for she was pretty lost in her sleep, remember she haven't sleep for about 3 nights and now she can really feel herself floating.

The moment she sleepily flutter her eyes open, like literally she jumped, her nerves and veins and everything started pumping blood. Circle of people surrounded her and all of them looks at her confusedly, she took a glanced at herself and she's still wearing the same outfit she was wearing when she was with Brittany and Tina, she snapped her head back and roamed the place for the certain blonde, she can feel the disappointment swell in her chest when she saw nothing but strangers preparing for a conference, there are even chairs placed inside the whole room.

She immediately gathered her things and ran to the door, like seriously? Brittany didn't wake her up! She can feel the rage dwelling in her chest, but she immediately composed herself as she reminded herself there's nothing worse with what she did with Brittany. This is nothing compared to that.

She again sighed deeply before completely stepping out and walking inside the building, revealing Brittany that automatically made her heart flutter, she just simply stared at Brittany from the door where the blonde has been laughing with what Quinn has been saying. She smiled giddily at the sight of the person she loved the most, the person she hurt the most.

"Hi," The Latina greeted as she completely got in the studio startling Brittany and Quinn. Quinn greeted her back before averting her eyes to Brittany giving the other blonde a confused look.

Brittany told her about the incident yesterday and she couldn't stop laughing, but after everything happened between Santana and Brittany she still sort of consider Santana as her friend and on the other corner of her mind, she felt sorry for the brunette because leaving someone in an empty room sleeping is really not cool.

"Santana." Brittany mumbled shocked as she immediately stood and offered Santana a confused look. "What are you doing here?" Like what the hell? She still managed to go here even Brittany already abandoned her.

"The building yesterday said that you left something." Santana informed the blonde as she took a seat before Brittany.

"And what was that?" Brittany questioned innocently because she's pretty sure Tina and her checked everything before they left the building, before they left Santana. So leaving something behind is pretty impossible.

"Me."

Brittany just stared at the Latina in front of her before bowing her head and pretended to scribble something down.

"That was on purpose." she whispered, she can see Santana on the corner of her eyes shuffling, propping her elbows and slowly nearing her. She automatically snapped her head back startling Santana that the Latina almost fell off her chair.

"I'm sorry; I thought I heard you saying something." Santana said.

"I said. I'm sorry, I thought you were deep asleep and I thought to myself that I shouldn't wake you up. So." The blonde reasoned still avoiding the Latina's searching looks. That's an obvious lie, like what type of person will leave someone in an empty room?

"It's okay." Santana answered back before smiling widely. And now Brittany didn't do that in purpose actually she has a better explanation. Great!

"So, Santana. Do you have something to do tonight?" Quinn asked before rolling her chair to face the Latina. "Britt, Tina, Rachel and I are going to this club. And I assure you it'll be fun." She added gaining a glare from Brittany. "You could bring your friends or your girlfriend perhaps." Gaining another death glare from her best friend. Quinn just shrugged and averted her eyes back to Santana who has been looking at the two of them like they're a piece of gold. Brittany just rolled her eyes and continued scribbling.

It's one of their traditions since the wedding, that every Friday night they should take their wondering mind off and just get lost in the deep night and blaring music, like she'll just dance and drink all night long. And sometimes she got laid but no serious relationship. Just sex and it stays like that.

"Sure. I mean I don't have a girlfriend or anything. I'll just bring Puck or Kurt with me." She immediately answered.

Quinn smiled contently before giving Brittany a meaningful look as she rolled back to her table, the both blonde snapped their head to Santana's direction when a sudden phone ringing blared all throughout the studio. Santana immediately fished her phone and placed it by her ear.

Again Brittany rolled her eyes when she saw the sudden happiness and excitement in the Latina's voice. She's not jealous! Its.. just.. they're inside a private studio and phones are not allowed. Is there a rule like that? She just clutched her pen tightly as she heard Santana mumbled 'bye' and breaking the silence among the three of them.

"I think I should go. See you tonight." The Latina waved and walked out the door. Brittany just eyed the brunette wearing a solid smile written all over her face. She automatically faced Quinn when Santana was finally out of her sight.

Brittany sighed at the possibilities that'll happen later, she can't avoid but clench her jaw before placing her palms by her forehead, Friday nights should be fun and now just the idea of entering the bar and spending those time with the person you hate the most is like… no enough words to explain it.

"Q, what the hell?" she huffed as she placed her arms over chest protectively throwing her best friend a fucking death glare. Quinn just raised her brow and not even bothering to look at her best friend. "Why did you invite her? What is your angle here?"

"Wait, Hold up! First of all, you told me you're over her. Second of all I'm just trying to give you some idea to hit her back." Quinn nearly yelled back. Brittany just stared at her mouth slightly ajar as Quinn's words hit her like a cold shower.

And it hit Brittany, if there is something that'll make Santana angry then that'll be jealousy.

* * *

The music blaring made Brittany's heart pump blood normally, like she found the best thing that'll made her normal, everything normal, **once again. **She love her job, she loves picture, snapping photos - for this is the only thing that'll remind every moment of people's lives which may not happen again. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words and that's what it makes Brittany a photographer, her and Quinn.

But aside from that, the other thing that makes her world go round is losing herself in every thump and every beat of music that blasts her ear. Honestly, she even attended few classes back then, thanks to Santana. If there is one thing she'll thank Santana for then it's the determination she showed for the blonde to pursue her dream and be a professional dancer. But… why is there always but-s? Anyways after the wedding everything changed she even dropped at the dance school and forgot about being a dancer and stuff. And just like before she met Santana dancing is just for fun.

Brittany and Quinn managed to reach the reserved table for them, Rachel and Tina are already there swaying and humming in the blaring music whilst few shot glasses lies over the table. Rachel automatically squealed and lunged at Quinn kissing her best friend on the lips whilst the blonde tried to hold her girlfriend on the waist. Brittany just snickered as she took a seat across Tina, who just playfully rolled her eyes at the public display of affection the two girls are showing.

Quinn managed to pull Rachel off of her and lead the small brunette back to her seat. And Rachel being Rachel started humming mumbling incoherent lyrics.

"You look great Britt." Tina nearly yelled making sure Brittany can hear her, off of the blaring music.

She's wearing a tight strapless black dress that cut off by her knees revealing her long and stunning legs plus. She asked Quinn to curl the ends of her blonde locks falling gorgeously over her shoulder, and she put a light make up to emphasize her beauty tonight. Well every time they go here, she just usually wear a tight skinny jeans and a cute top, but tonight is no ordinary - someone will be joining them, it's not just someone though. "Thanks T." The blonde answered back.

Brittany roamed the place and her eyes landed on Mike who was approaching their table she can see Tina on the corner of her eyes shimmying in her seat. Mike and Tina have been together for 2 years now and their relationship really goes well. Mike loves Tina and Tina loves Mike, so.

She eyed the two couples in front of her showed affection and she can't help but feel a little pang on her chest, _they used to be like that._ She snatched the shot glass that Rachel was about to grab and blindly swung it into her mouth. She grimaced by the moment the bitter taste struck her taste buds giving her the burning feeling.

She averted her eyes back to the crowd and she immediately felt the shiver down her spine, her hand sweating and the anxiousness flowed in her veins when her eyes finally landed on a familiar brunette trying to squeeze from the growing number of people dancing. Brittany can feel her mouth watering when Santana finally managed to pull Kurt beside her she's wearing a tight red dress that perfectly shows her curves and just like Brittany's it was cut off by the tanned legs revealing her perfect legs, the brunette has been adjusting the strap of dress, there's a frown written over her face well maybe some douche hit on her or something.

Santana automatically smiled when her brown orbs linked with the blue ones she's been longing for. She tugged Kurt behind her not minding that the boy has been groaning.

"Hey. You look amazing." Santana started finally facing Brittany. She greeted everyone else on the table and she received fake smiles from Brittany's friends well of course it's not obvious. _Just to get the plan going. _

"You do too. I'm going to get a drink." Brittany announced gaining a nod from everyone. She clumsily stood and head towards the bar. She can hear the fading voice of Santana that she too needs a drink, followed by an abrupt footsteps behind her.

"So since when did you guys discover this place?" Santana neared her mouth by Brittany's ear, the brunette's perfume invaded her nose, this is Santana's perfume since they got together and Brittany never get tired of nuzzling her nose by the brunette's neck every time they're together. Again everything flashed back so she abruptly pushed the Latina off of her causing the Santana to mutter a quick 'sorry'.

"After the accident." Brittany mumbled shortly before emptying another shot glass. She can feel the brown orbs on her she just shrugged and eyed the Latina. "You know, after I got hit by a car-"she can see that again Santana automatically tensed and so Brittany a sly smirk played across her face "-and they decided to relax every Friday night and we found this place. It's cool, right?"

"Yea. It is." Santana tensely answered before grabbing her own glass.

They both walked back to their table where Quinn has been talking to Mike and Tina whilst Rachel found a perfect company with Kurt talking about Broadway and some musical shit.

She sat beside Quinn and Santana sat beside her. She sent Quinn a wink before placing her drink by Santana's hand before purposely swatting her hair from her right shoulder transferring it to the other mumbling that it's so hot like fuck that! It's fucking freezing in this club, and by that Santana has a better a view of her neck, she knew how Santana loves her neck. She can feel that the brunette almost spit her drink in front of Kurt when Santana's eyes finally spotted Brittany's milky white skin.

"Are you okay Santana?" Brittany questioned innocently whilst the brunette tried to wipe the alcohol that leaked out her pouty lips. Santana just nodded in response and smiled.

"If it isn't my Brittany." A female voice piped in gaining everybody's attention, revealing a brunette girl wearing a striped short dress with a matching stiletto and she got her hair all straight whilst her side bangs almost blocks her bright green eyes. Everyone who would see her will say she's smoking hot. "Hi Quinn, Rach." She added nodding to the other girls.

Brittany stared at the girl wide-eyed she can see that everybody's eyes averted to hers especially Santana who eyed her confusedly. The girl gave her a wink and her trance was disturbed causing her to shake her head.

"Natasha. Hi!" Brittany muttered shocked. Natasha greeted everyone and they greeted her as well. Well they pretty knew her already for they're sort of friends except for Santana who really seemed not too pleased in the sudden appearance of the other brunette.

They've never seen each other since that night she ran out from Natasha's place. That was 2 months after the bum of a wedding, Natasha knew about the whole story, the wedding-everything but Brittany never told the brunette about her ex-girlfriend she didn't even told Santana's name or whatever she just told her that this woman left her in her own god damn wedding and the other girl listened to her.

She likes Natasha, yes. She's nice and sweet. One time Brittany got really drank and Quinn as well so the blonde went with Rachel. Natasha offered to let Brittany stayed at her place and wait for the sun to rise and of course her hang over to cease.

They sort of made out as soon as they reached the brunette's place but after minutes of heated make out session Brittany pulled Natasha away for the only image she can see is a picture of other brunette, brown eyed girl kissing her back not green-eyed causing her to run out. Natasha too admitted that she likes Brittany and if they can make the cut, then she'll be glad to comply.

"It's been a long time. I missed you." Natasha muttered causing Santana to cough dramatically.

"San, are you okay?" Kurt questioned. Santana just nodded motioning three fingers in the air as she again swung the glass onto her mouth.

"I missed you t-" Brittany was shortly cut off when someone kicked her in the shin causing her to grimace in pain. Santana again nonchalantly swung the glass onto her mouth.

"Who was that?" the blonde huffed as she reached for her feet under the table. Like seriously that hurts!

"That's really bad Rachel. Really bad." Santana chirped in before smiling at Brittany gaining the smaller brunette's confused look who has been talking to Kurt for the last 2 minutes.

"I think my friends are not here yet, do you guys mind if I can sit here for a while?" Natasha offered. Brittany nodded frantically as she scooted a little. By the time she moved to Quinn's direction to give Natasha space, Santana scooted as well giving the other brunette the seat beside her.

"Hi. Do you mind if I seat beside Britt?" Natasha with all smiles offered to Santana. Santana just glared at her before smiling phonily.

"Actually yes, my feet- it pretty hurts. My friend – Kurt-" Santana said pointing to Kurt as she gave the boy some sort of signal gaining the boy's head bob up and down. "-and I just walked from our apartment to here. So I can barely move" the Latina mumbled and groaned at the same time before placing her arms over the couch's headrest and sort of moan by the time she put her head back.

"What are you doing?" Brittany sternly whispered to Santana whilst maintaining eye contact with Natasha, well she sort of owed this girl.

"Just resting." Santana mumbled matter-of-factly gaining the blonde's nudging her by the shoulder, she rolled her eyes before scooting beside Brittany giving the other brunette more space. "Fine."

"I thought you're going to make her sit beside me?" Brittany questioned. It's totally obvious that everybody's eyes are on them especially Natasha's.

"She can sit beside me. I really don't mind if I'm sitting between the two of you and I don't really care what you guys are talking about." She said nonchalantly. That's not true! Of course she cares, like who the hell is this girl? "I mean do you mind sitting with me Nathalie?"

"Natasha." Natasha and Brittany mumbled in unison.

"Oh. Natalia?" Santana said before placing her hands over ears pretending to block the blaring the music. Of course she heard the bitch's name, she's not that deaf.

"NA-TA-SHA" Brittany emphasized every syllable gaining Santana's confused look.

How dare her tell Brittany she missed her? And for the record Brittany also parroted the words. Santana can't help but be jealous, what if this Natasha and Brittany dated after the wedding. Like what the hell, right?

Well Brittany has the right to date anyone since the moment she left the blonde crying, and plus Brittany doesn't remember anything.

"Right Natalia." Santana chuckled before emptying her glass raising it onto the air pretending to enjoy the blaring music.

Natasha just shrugged and sat beside Santana before looking Brittany deep in the eyes.

A sly smirk playing across Brittany's lips she stared at Santana, and _now she's jealous._

**A/N Review pretty please? **


	10. The Argument

**A/N: Thank you for your reviews and I really love knowing what you guys think. So keep it coming (:**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

A sly smirk playing across Brittany's lips as she stared at Santana, and _now she's jealous._

"Britt, you haven't called me after that night." Natasha nearly shouted so that Brittany can hear. "I go-"

Santana on the other hand, pretended to look at Kurt and Rachel talking whilst her ears are on full alert between the two girls conversation. Like what night is she talking about? Keep talking, Natasha. She grabbed Brittany's drink before leaning her back to get a better angle causing the two girls adjust their seat whilst Santana can get a better view of their faces.

"I'm Santana by the way." Santana piped in cutting the other brunette's words. "Brittany's friend." she added before smiling widely at Natasha offering her hand, Natasha being nice shook it and returned the smile before averting her eyes back to Brittany.

"I mean I got worried about you. "The brunette continued. Santana subtly rolled her eyes and uncomfortably shuffle in her seat gaining Brittany's questioning look. She just shrugged and the blonde averted her eyes back to Natasha, knitting her brows together as she looked at Natasha with a tight lipped smile. "I wonder if you're safe or not."

"Obviously she's safe, you're talking to her right now." Santana scoffed whilst looking at her almost empty glass.

Both girls just eyed her and returned their gazes back to each other ignoring Santana's remarks.

"I tried calling you and everything but you won't answer your phone." Natasha mumbled lowly. Brittany just eyed the brunette guiltily and bowed her head, obviously she can't say that this girl between the two of them is the only reason why she ran out.

"Well, it's either the person you're calling is dead, or she just don't wanna talk to you." the Latina said before emptying her glass. "And I definitely go with the latter." She added before placing her now empty glass by the table.

And that's it. Everything in Brittany's mind flashed back from the moment Santana left her until the day they saw each other in the grocery.

"Wow. Tell me about it Santana…" Brittany retorted as she adjusted her seat and faced Santana completely. "Calling someone for the thousandth time and they won't answer their phone, there should be a good reason right?"

She exactly did the same thing. Brittany almost lost her mind the moments she was calling the brunette and now what? She's just going to state those words without thinking about the exact thing she did.

"I mean… you, almost losing your mind because you're so worried about that person, you didn't even receiv-_Ow_!" she was shortly cut off when Quinn kicked her under the table. She faced the other blonde whilst rubbing her almost sore ankle for the second time. "What the fuck Q?"

"Oh my God, that was you Britt? I thought it was Rachel. I was going to ask her if we can play footsie. My bad." Quinn nonchalantly answered as she widened her eyes at Brittany mouthing 'The plan.' Rachel on the other hand eyed her girlfriend confusedly, because seriously they sat on the other corners of the table and playing footsie this far would be super weird they're almost laying back or something. That'll be awkward.

Brittany took a deep sigh before facing the two brunettes, who has been looking at her confusedly. "Sorry. I'm sorry." She mumbled shaking her head.

"I'll get us a drink." Natasha said before standing, giving Santana one last look and walked away.

Brittany just stared at the table blankly, whilst she can feel Santana's eyes on her.

She got carried away, for God sake. And this is not a good thing! She placed her hand by her forehead, she can feel the incoming headache being triggered by the blasting music. She felt cold hands placed over bare shoulders revealing Santana's brown orbs looking at her, she can say that the brunette wanted to say something but there is something blocking her. It's almost 2 weeks since their destinies crossed, two weeks since she's been trying Santana to back off of her. Two weeks, for the first time she felt safe even though she knows that deep inside she's mad, super mad.

She gave Santana a tight lip smile before following Natasha's lead onto the bar.

"Hey, sorry about that." Brittany muttered before taking the stool beside Natasha.

"It's fine." The brunette answered. "Who is she?" she asked keeping her eyes plastered on the dancing crowd.

"Who?"

"Santana."

"A friend."

"I don't know you for that long but I could sort of figure it out if you're lying or not." Natasha retorted facing the blonde. "Is she…your ex fiancé?"

Brittany just stared at Natasha, literally she can't find her voice right now, or just the proper words? She knows that she can trust Natasha at everything, but this? She can't get another person involved in this lie.

"No, she's not." She finally muttered gaining the brunette's unimpressed look. "Can we not… talk about this?" she added letting out a defeated sigh.

"Sorry." The brunette too answered with a deep sigh. "Will you just tell me why you left that night?"

"I-uh." She was shortly cut off when Rachel came squealing on her way to the dance floor for she was being tugged by Quinn. Followed by Mike and Tina their hands intertwined. She was about to continue what she was saying when her friends were followed by Kurt whilst pulling Santana into the crowded area.

The music is blaring, yes. But the only thing Brittany can hear is the sweet sound of Santana's laughs whilst she tried to sway her body in time with the music. She doesn't want to smile like a goof but her lips can't help to form one.

"Britt." Natasha tapped her on the shoulder.

"Uh, yea. Sorry." She mumbled taking one last glance at Santana before facing the brunette.

"So? Why?"

"I don't think that, that night I'm willing to start another relationship. I mean, I'm over her… I am but that moment I never saw anyone but…her. God! That does make any sense?" Brittany rambled watching how Natasha looked at her like she can understand everything she was saying. "I don't even understand what I just said." She chuckled.

Natasha placed her hand over Brittany's and gave it a little squeeze before giving the blonde a wide smile. "I understand, Britt. Trust me, and I just want you to remember that… whatever happened I'm always here for you as a friend, or luckily… more than that."

Brittany just smiled in response and swung her bottle onto her mouth. Her hands automatically sweat when she saw Santana and Tina approaching the bar.

"I know that Tash." She mumbled as she looked at Santana ordering some drink. She noticed that Santana rolled her eyes for Natasha's hand was still securely placed over hers. Making sure that Santana is still looking she held Natasha's hand by her chest before mumbling something that Santana will hear. "Thank you Natasha, you're the only person I can lean on to since the incident."

Brittany almost gave herself a high five when Santana beginning to scoff behind her and the brunette started to get uncomfortable in her seat.

"I missed that." Natasha mumbled pulling her hands away from Brittany. Brittany can see that the green-eyed girl is blushing, she's turning pink.

"What?" Brittany said flirtingly on purpose. She can still hear Santana coughing phonily behind her.

"You calling me Tash. You're the only person who calls me that."

"Tina, that's really funny." Santana laughed loudly causing Brittany and Natasha to avert their attention to hers.

"I just said Coke." Tina mumbled looking at Santana whilst her brows knitting together.

Luckily Tina said something for she may have said the word 'Tash' aloud and laughed. She can feel the pang in her chest when Brittany threw those words to someone who isn't hers.

_After the incident. _

Again, of course she can't blame Brittany or anyone but herself, even this-Natasha has nothing to do about it, Brittany can't remember any single thing about her and the moments they spent together.

"What? It sounds funny to me." Santana said matter-of-factly at the three girls. Brittany just shook her head and tugged Natasha with her back to their table.

The crowd lessens and Brittany glanced by the stage and she saw that a band is preparing their musical instruments. She smiled widely and motioned Natasha to the band playing their rendition of Cuckoo causing the whole club to sing with the band.

Brittany sighed deeply when she saw Santana that has been eyeing her and Natasha for the last 15 minutes and she knew that Santana is now burning with jealousy, so again she purposely brushed her hands by Natasha's causing the brunette to blush. She swear that she saw Santana snapped to the petite boy that for sure offered her a drink and that she inwardly high fived herself.

Natasha leaned by her ear and whispered something she can't understand which gives her the better angle at Santana's view but she was a little disappointed when she let her eyes wander back to where the Latina was sitting and her eyes landed on an empty stool.

Natasha was babbling about something and Brittany just nodded and smiled every time their eyes linked, she roamed the whole place and a little disappointed when she didn't saw the brunette. Quinn nudged her by the shoulder and motioned by the stage where she saw the woman she has been looking for, holding a guitar and she was adjusting the stool where she can sit. It was pretty awkward for Santana though, because she's wearing a very short dress that gains lots of hollering and shrieks from the crowd.

Natasha followed Brittany's trance and she was too a little startled when Santana started testing the guitar. She can see that Brittany has been eyeing Santana way different, her eyes glowing and Brittany's blue eyes totally screams something. This was the actual look Natasha saw the moment Brittany cried about the wedding and told about her everything that happened. _Same look._

"Hi. Good evening everyone." Santana started clutching the microphone as she slung the guitar's strap by her neck. Brittany can't help but stare at the Latina, she remembered on how Santana would serenade her, the brunette was saying that singing is just for fun but Brittany knows that singing is Santana's passion. "We've already been rocking all night, so maybe we could turn the tune a little down." She added gaining snickers from the crowd. "So this song… is for someone whom I hurt so bad. And she probably doesn't know that it's for her. So. Here we go." The Latina mumbled keeping her head low.

The crowd went silent when Santana started strumming the guitar. Brittany can feel the lump in her throat forming whilst the brunette still kept her head down. She didn't notice that she has been clutching her glass tightly that it may broke, her knuckles turning white as her chest tightens.

_Can you forgive me again?_

_I don't know what I said_

_But I didn't mean to hurt you._

Brittany immediately swung the content of her glass the moment Santana started singing the lyrics. The brunette closed her eyes letting herself lost in every note she made. Every word her mouth released is like the exact words she needed to tell Brittany. Brittany can see the light heaving of Santana's chest indicating she's nervous.

_I heard the words come out_

_I felt that I would die_

_It hurt so much to hurt you._

Every word struck Brittany's mind hitting her straight in the heart, she kept her eyes on Santana, she can't help but held her breath as the past happy memories of her and Santana flashed back. She was a little startle when Natasha's hand crept over hers giving a little squeeze, she gave the brunette a subtle smile before averting her eyes back to Santana. All she can hear is Santana's voice and the echoing of her pounding chest that seem to reach her ears.

_Then you look at me_

_You're not shouting anymore_

_You're silently broken_

_I'd give anything now_

_to kill those words for you_

Brittany almost lost it when she saw that Santana's tears were like little diamonds that came rolling down her tanned cheeks, the spotlight reflecting her tears giving it a little glow. Brittany can feel Quinn's and everybody's eyes on her. The whole place got silenced all of their eyes plastered on the singing brunette. Santana loves the spotlight, but now all she knows is that she's singing not for the crowd but for Brittany. _Only for her._

_Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."_

_But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah._

And that's what it took for Brittany's own tears to fall, she immediately brought the back of her hand to wipe the tears that already escaped. Like seriously where did those tears came from? She can't let people and especially Santana see that she's crying. She can feel Natasha squeezed her hands once again urging her that it's okay to cry and let her feelings be seen.

_'Cause you were made for me_

_Somehow I'll make you see_

_How happy you make me_

The moment those lyrics released her lips her eyes automatically averted to Brittany, brown orbs linked with the blue ones and finally she knew that Brittany can feel that the song was for her, she just knew it. Again she closed her eyes as she continuously strummed the guitar, she can feel herself floating as her chest tightens every time she pictures herself running down the aisle.

_I can't live this life_

_Without you by my side_

_I need you to survive_

Brittany continuously wiped her tears away, she knew this is not a good thing, she can't let her feelings overcome her senses. Everything will not be healed by a simple song. She needed reasons and explanations, she know that after everything that happened, a part of her is still willing to listen at the Latina's words. And she bit her lower lip to get herself back in reality.

_So stay with me_

_You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry._

_And you forgive me again_

_You're my one true friend_

_And I never meant to hurt you_

Santana strummed the last note giving Brittany one last glance before the crowd's cheers and applauses filled the whole place.

Brittany took a deep breath before emptying her glass she was about to stand and walked away, the tears that came out were not enough, she's like about to burst if she can't let these tears fall, but she was abruptly stopped when Quinn held her wrist motioning her to take her seat whilst she can see that Santana is on her way back to the table.

"Just relax. Okay?" Quinn whispered as she handed another glass to Brittany. Brittany nodded in response before taking a sip of her drink.

The group automatically cheered Santana the moment she reached the group. She just smiled and nodded every time they does, even Natasha cheered her. All this time she kept her eyes on Brittany who has been quietly staring at her fingers. All she knew is that, Brittany felt it._ She did._

* * *

"That was really fun!" Rachel slurred whilst Quinn tried to balance her girlfriend who still swayed on the echoing music from the inside. "A-and Santana, I reaaaaaly love your voice. But baby I love your voice even better." The little diva muttered as she lunged her arms by Quinn's neck. Quinn mumbled short byes before tugging Rachel behind her towards the truck.

Followed by Tina and Mike who can't seem to get enough of each other as they kept their faces near each other's mouth causing them to bump by Mike's vehicle filling the parking place with a wailing sound from his own truck. Gaining fits of giggles from the rest of their friends.

After a minute or two a car halt in front of them rolling the window down revealing Kurt's boyfriend Blaine, they exchanged short goodbyes before he completely got in. Leaving Brittany and Santana by the road.

Brittany kept her self-aloof from Santana after she sang, she knew that the Latina has been giving her meaningful glances every time their eyes met. She knew that if Quinn didn't manage to stop her from walking out then she may have already spilled the truth, that she remembers everything_. Everything. _

Even Natasha noticed her sudden change of mood, so the brunette just held her hand offered her a sweet smile every time their eyes linked.

_You're not a good liar, Britt_. Natasha whispered in Brittany's ear before pecking the blonde on the cheeks as she said her goodbyes to everyone and walked away.

"I'll drive you home." Santana muttered breaking the awkward silence between the two of them.

"I thought you just walked?" Brittany asked.

"I said that?" the brunette answered back before tugging Brittany with her towards her own car.

The drive was pretty awkward for they just exchanged glances from time to time, Santana even started small talks about how did the street lights managed to turn red even though there's no traffic. Brittany just shrugged and stared out the window.

She knows that the whole ride the brunette's eyes were practically plastered on her, instead she just clutched the hem of her dress as she played with her fingers. She was a little startled that the car came into a halt, not noticing that they already reached her and Quinn's apartment.

"Thank you." she mumbled shortly before tugging the seatbelt. She was on her way out when cold and clammy hands held her wrist. She slowly turned her back and saw Santana staring at her hand.

"Brittany-"

Brittany again leaned her back and closed the door, she just stared at Santana and how the brunette's chest heaved up and down, she wanted to ask Santana if what really happened that day, she wanted to! But she also wanted that those words came out from the Latina's mouth without her urging the truth to be spilled.

She just gave Santana an innocent questioning look as she search for the Latina's brown eyes, Santana slowly faced her and she swears that there are tears falling down her cheeks. Their eyes met and Brittany can see that there is something commending the brunette to tell her the truth.

"We're not just friends, are we?" Brittany broke the silence as their eyes still having the silent talk. She knows that her tears are again attempting to fall, she took deep breath to calm herself.

'_Just tell me the truth! You see I'm already helping you'_ she inwardly screamed, she watched Santana ran her hands through her brown locks nervously whilst biting her lower lip.

_Just tell me, maybe we can… fix this. _Brittany pleaded on the inside.

**Team Brittany or Team Santana? Review! **


	11. The Protagonist

**A/N: Again thank you for your reviews (: **

* * *

_Flashback~_

_Santana fluttered her eyes open as she adjusted her vision in the sudden brightness sipping through the window, her lips automatically formed into a grin when her eyes landed on Brittany, her blonde locks splayed all over the pillow and some blocked her face, her arms were tightly draped over Santana's waist as her chest rose and fell with her soft exhales. _

_Santana slowly moved to fully face Brittany and she can feel the blonde's grip on her waist automatically tightened, even in her sleep, she's such a baby. The brunette sighed contently as she watched Brittany's nose scrunch in the cutest way possible for strands of blonde locks tickles her nose, Santana brought her fingers to swat the stands and stuck it into Brittany's ear causing Brittany to sigh deeply and tried to snuggle more into Santana's neck. _

_Santana can hear Brittany sigh satisfyingly against her skin before her eyes slowly flickered open revealing Brittany's deep blue eyes staring back at her, her lips mirroring the brunette's sweet smile. They just stare at each other, letting each other lost in their meaningful looks letting their eyes wander every single detail in each other's faces. _

"_Marry me?" Santana rasped out of nowhere breaking their staring contest._

_Santana almost chuckled when Brittany's reaction automatically changed, her eyes flickers feverishly as she stare at Santana bewilderedly. Her mouth slightly agape as she watched Santana trying to contain her giggles. The brunette pulled her hand out of the pillow and blindly reached for Brittany's. Brittany swatted her hand away before sprinting inside the bathroom. _

_Santana immediately followed Brittany's trance as she watched the blonde ran to the bathroom wearing nothing but her underwear, her confused look was automatically modified by a content smile when her eyes landed on Brittany's head poking, mouthwash in her right hand as her mouth blew up. _

"_Grrg-one-Grrg-second" the blonde managed to say as she continued gargling. Brittany hastily spit the minty liquid from her mouth before running back to Santana's side._

"_Repeat it." She mumbled in one breath. _

_Santana just giggle in response before propping her elbow as she tried to reach for hers and Brittany's baggy shirts on the floor along with their other garments that has been hastily thrown last night. She handed one to the blonde before slipping the shirt in her bare body as the blonde did the same. _

_Brittany quickly managed to slip the shirt peeking at Santana in the process. She again stared at Santana her eyes still has the surprised look and her mouth practically falling off._

_It's Santana's turn to run into the bathroom and hurriedly grabbed the dental floss lying in the upper cabinet before literally jumping onto Brittany's side. She gave Brittany a sweet smile to calm the blonde before yanking a floss out of it's packet. Thank God she's not shaking._

"_They said that if you want to remember something, you should tie something on your pointer finger so that you can remember it." She mumbled smilingly keeping her brown orbs connected with Brittany's blue. "But I get to change that-" she added before slipping the piece of floss between Brittany's ring finger. "I want you to remember everything we have and everything we will have so putting this on your pointer finger is not a good idea for that may have to be temporary so I will put it here-" she said locking her eyes with Brittany as she ran the pad of her thumb on Brittany's ring finger. "I love you Brittany, I will always will. And whatever happened I wanted to make you happy, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to have lots of babies with you, I want to grow old with you, I want everything to be about you- I just want you-" she trailed as she tied the floss like a ribbon on Brittany's ring finger. _

_Brittan just stared at Santana in awe, everything was like going in a slow motion. Everything she says, everything she do. Brittany just held her breath as Santana tighten the floss before pecking her hand. _

_And that's what it took for Brittany's tears to roll down her cheeks, she bit her lower lip as it continued to quiver. "I love you, Brittany. I love you." Santana chuckled as she clutched Brittany's hand by her chest. "And I want you to be with me forever." Her eyes twinkling as she linked her eyes with the blonde's. _

"_Of course I will marry you." she happily answered bringing her free hand to wipe the tears that already escaped. She snapped her head to Santana's direction when she heard someone sniffing and her heart fluttered when she saw that the brunette's tears were also falling. _

_She pulled her hand away and cupped Santana's cheeks before closing the gap between their lips kissing her fiancé deeply, she smirked against the brunette's lips when she felt Santana inhaled through her nose as she kissed back. "I love you, Santana." She mumbled when she finally pulled back to suck some air before again crashing their lips into their second kiss as fiancés. "I love you."_

* * *

Brittany blankly entered their apartment before changing something comfortable and dry. The rain was still continuously pouring as she slumped down her bed sighing deeply. Thank God, Quinn spent the night with Rachel for she was saved for another session of nagging. She glanced at her nightstand it's already 12:43 in the morning she shut her eyes closed as she recall everything that happened tonight.

Everything.

Natasha. The song. Her break down. And especially her question.

"_We're not just friends, are we?" Brittany broke the silence as their eyes still having the silent talk. She knows that her tears are again attempting to fall, she took deep breath to calm herself. _

_Santana just stare at her, before letting go of the blonde's hand. Causing Brittany to hold her breath, for the second time Santana let her go. She just let her go._

"_We were together." She whispered before placing her quivering hands by the steering wheel clutching it tightly. _

_Brittany just shook her head as her grip on the hem of her dress tightens, the pounding of her heart got louder that if it wasn't for the continuous roaring of the sky then Santana might hear it. She can feel her eyes stinging, the familiar lump in her throat forming so she immediately composed herself adjusting her seat before running her clammy hands through her blonde locks._

"_Did…did we break up?" She asked keeping her voice low and calm. _

_Santana just stare at the steering wheel as the pounding of her chest came along the sound of the deafening thunder. She knew the right answer, yes they did. She ran out the church and left the blonde broken, she unconsciously licked her lower lip as she tried to form the right sentence. She can feel the holes that the blonde has been setting on her head. She closed her eyes sighing deeply before muttering something._

"_I don't know." Santana lowly answered back. _

_The correct answer? Actually Brittany doesn't know either, did they broke up? Santana did run out the church, is that considered as an official break up? The rage and anger again winding inside her chest and she can't hear anything but the Latina's answer followed by the shattering sound of the awaited pouring of rain._

_Brittany finally let the air puff out of her before nodding. She took one last glance at Santana before walking out, she can barely hear the fading voice of Santana calling her name but she just ignored it, she just let the cold raindrops pour over her as she let her feet drag her inside the building. All she knew is that, he chest tightened, the familiar lump was there and her eyes are still stinging but the tears? Tears that actually fell? None. _

_Actually she sort of breathed properly when Santana admitted that they were together, don't know why but there's just something in her looks that wanted to relate something, something important. _

_She knew that Santana also wanted to tell her the truth but there is something, there got to be something stopping her._

* * *

Quinn left early at Rachel's place remembering their early shoot for a birthday party. So she grabbed some perfume from her purse and sprayed some on one of the brunette's pillow before carefully placing her girlfriend's arm over it, and watched Rachel snuggled the pillow before humming contently.

She head straight home after leaving a note for Rachel by the refrigerator that she needed to left early for the shoot. It was indeed pretty early, thank God she didn't drink that much last night and she didn't end up with a fucking hang over or something.

It was barely 6 in the morning when she reached home, she poked her head inside Brittany's room seeing that the blonde was sleeping quietly, she smiled at the sight and head towards the bathroom to take a shower, and do her morning rituals.

Glancing at the digital clock it's already quarter to eight, and Brittany should be up already. She just shrugged it off and head towards the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. Another 30 minutes and Brittany is not yet up. She sighed deeply before turning on her heels towards her best friend's room.

"Brittany!" Quinn's voice blasted all throughout the apartment followed by the loud banging of Brittany's door. "We have to get ready." Quinn leaned her ear to hear some signs that the other blonde is awake, she groaned when silence occupied her ear.

"Britt." She hissed before clutching the doorknob and swung it open. Quinn literally jumped on Brittany's side tugging the blonde's cuddly blanket off of her, revealing Brittany covered with sweat whilst she tried to pull the sheet back to her.

"Britt- Oh my god." Quinn gasped putting the back of her hand by Brittany's forehead, she swallowed dryly when Brittany's temperature was beyond normal, the blonde just cough in response as she tugged her blanket up to her chin.

"What t-time is i-it Q?" Brittany managed to choke out her eyes still close as she brought the back of her hand to wipe her nose.

"Past 9." Quinn mumbled as she marched back and forth whilst running her hands through her blonde locks. They should be in the studio in the next 30 minutes and now Brittany's sick.

"W-were g-gonna be late." Brittany answered before tugging the blanket off of her and stood causing the whole room to spin and for her to lose her balance and fell back to her bed creating a loud thump when her damped back met the cold sheets.

"You just stay in bed Britt I think you might have a fever, I'll go get you a wash cloth" Quinn said before draping Brittany's blanket over her body before heading out the room.

Brittany just groaned and let out few moans before shaking from another coughing fit.

Quinn returned with a basin and a piece of wash cloth clutched between her other arm.

"What happened last night?" Quinn questioned as she sat beside Brittany before dripping the piece of cloth in the warm water before placing it on Brittany's forehead.

"Dathing." Brittany answered, her congestion evading her from speaking something understandable. Quinn let out a giggle before dabbing the wet cloth over Brittany's hairline, repeating the process until the other blonde's breathing even out. "Santada just drof me off."

"Don't answer that, I can't understand anything." Quinn laughed. "I'll just call Tina, someone needs to be here with you." she added before offering Brittany a glass of water. Brittany took the glass and gulping a large sip before hastily handing it back to the other blonde.

"No, Q. You have to help Tina." Brittany whined more understandable this time between coughs.

"I know. But what about you?" Quinn asked hesitantly, of course Tina needed help, it's sort of a big project and they needed more than one person to handle it.

"It's just a fever Q, I just need a rest." She mumbled as she tried to even out her breathing from all that coughing she just did.

"Fine. But I promise to straight back home after." Quinn trailed as she stood and walked out the door, after few minutes she returned with a pitcher of water on her right hand and a plate with a piece of pancake on the other, she slowly placed it by Brittany's nightstand before strolling towards the bathroom letting her eyes wander the upper cabinet before grabbing the proper medicine for Brittany. She poured the proper amount of the red liquid in the little plastic cup before placing it beside the plate of pancake. "You have to eat something before you take this." Quinn mumbled as she wiggled the little cup to Brittany.

"Ugh, I hate that." Brittany moaned before nodding anyways.

"Do you need something else?" Quinn inquired as she leaned by the door. Well, this is going to be the first time that Brittany will be alone when she's sick.

"Remote?" Brittany stated as she poke her head under the sheets. Quinn giggled for Brittany's nose was pretty red and swollen. She walked towards the TV before grabbing the remote and handed it to other blonde, Brittany just blindly reached for the remote from Quinn before throwing it somewhere in the bed.

"You sure you're gonna be okay?" Quinn again asked as she held the door knob, she swung it close when she heard Brittany hummed in response.

Brittany heard the door closed as she let her eyes droop closed and letting herself lost in the dreamland.

* * *

Brittany was awaken by the loud rattling and clanking from the kitchen followed by an audible hissing from the person. The anxiousness automatically flowed in her veins for she was pretty sure that it wasn't Quinn, Quinn will never drop their kitchen utensils. One time Brittany dropped one of the other blonde's pan, well Quinn just ended up breathing fire. So someone ransacking the kitchen could be a robber or worst a serial killer. She gulped dryly at the thought of someone rummaging their little apartment, what will she give? Her newest pair of socks? And that's not an option for it was super cute.

Thankfully she took the disgusting liquid Quinn gave her, ceasing her headache and her runny nose seems to even out. She took a deep breath before tugging her comforter off of her before flinging her feet on the side of the bed. She can still feel the whole room was spinning so she shortly closed her eyes before standing and head by the door, she inaudibly grabbed one of the baseball bat Quinn used to tuck behind the door. She can feel her hands sweating as she held the door knob, the rattling was still on so she slowly swung the door open poking her head. Nothing changed though, everything was still the same, actually a lot better? Everything in order, even the couch was adjacently placed in the middle of the living room.

She can smell the pleasant scent of chicken soup from the kitchen causing her stomach to grumble, the robber is preparing some chicken soup? Weird. She gripped the baseball bat tighter like her life depended on it, the whole place was still whirling, yes. And her head is still aching like fuck. Maybe she needed another cup of those disgusting shit. She shook her head at the idea of taking another shot of that thing. Ugh!

She tip toed inside the kitchen making sure that she won't make any noise. She can hear the rattling coming from the lowest cabinet, so she clutched the bat tighter her fist turning white as the pounding of her chest got louder. She carefully swing the bat over her head-

"Hey Britt you're up- _Woah_!" Santana gasped as she dropped the casserole before placing her both hands over her head.

"Santana." Brittany too gasped shocked before letting her limbs relax swinging the baseball bat onto her side. She took a deep breath calming her nervous nerves that has been pumping blood to her brain seconds ago. "What are you doing here?" she questioned. She knit her brows together to gather some concentration for sure the whole place is like a freaking rollercoaster.

"I-I went to the st-studio, you weren't t-there, Quinn t-told me y-you're sick. So I b-brought s-some chicken s-soup." Santana stuttered anxiously as she picked the casserole from the cold floor.

"Thanks."

"I think you should get back to your room, I'll just warm this up." Santana said, motioning Brittany to get back to the opposite direction.

Brittany with no more energy left to argue, followed the brunette's instruction and slumped back down to bed. She was pretty anxious that Santana was here, like seriously why does she even care? She again tugged the sheets over her body to produce some warmth, closing her eyes as her nose continued to water.

She can feel herself shutting off when her door clicked causing her to jolt faintly, fluttering her eyes open she saw Santana trying to tip toe whilst carefully holding a bowl of soup whilst spoon stuffed in her mouth.

"I'm awake." Brittany informed the brunette.

"Oh, Sorry." Santana answered as she avoided the blonde's tired look. "Could you sit a little?" she asked before wiggling the bowl careful not to spill.

Brittany just propped her elbow weakly before sitting, leaning her head by the headboard before averting her eyes to Santana who has been looking at her woefully. Santana just shook her head before placing the bowl by the nightstand carefully, before grabbing the stool by Brittany's computer set.

"Here. It's pretty hot, though." The brunette mumbled as she scooped a little amount nearing it to Brittany's mouth. The blonde munch it slowly letting the hot soup stirred her insides whilst keeping her eyes on Santana.

"Quinn told me that you have to take this." Santana said grabbing the medicine bottle, pouring the right amount of the red liquid before handing it to Brittany. Brittany never said any word since Santana reached her room, she just weakly clutched the small cup before chugging the content, groaning as soon the bitter taste assaulted her taste buds.

Santana just smiled weakly, before heading towards the door.

"Did you love me?" Brittany asked out of nowhere, her voice raspy and hoarse as she let out another fit of coughs.

Santana just looked at her as she bit her lower lip before heading out the door.

Brittany almost whimpered when she saw Santana halt by the door but continued her stance when she heard Brittany's question. Why does she always have to run away in things like this?

She just swallowed the lump in her throat that has been forming out of nowhere, before closing her eyes. Shutting the world.

* * *

Brittany can barely hear the footsteps approaching her bed, followed by the dipping of the side of her bed. She just clutched the pillow tighter as she tried to pretend she's still asleep. She can hear the audible breathing of the person, she almost flutter her eyes open when warm fingertips touched her forehead swatting her blonde locks. She can feel her chest pounding as the person continued stroking her hair. She heard the familiar chiming of the person's bracelet, by that she knew it's Santana.

"I still do, Britt." Santana choked out as she caressed the blonde's cheeks. "I still do." she added.

* * *

**A/N: Ugh! This is sort of rushed, so. Please let me know what you think. Thank you (: **

**And Oh! Who's ready for Santana's explanation? REViEW! **


	12. The Coincidence

**A/N: UPDATE (: This is sort of short… screw sort of. This is really short. Fuck College!**

**DJ: Yes, it's based on My Amnesia Girl but most of the contents were mine, so (: Thank you for reading. **

Brittany tiredly fluttered her eyes open, well compared earlier she felt a lot better. Luckily her head doesn't feel like someone was hammering some portrait on it or something, she rubbed her nose by her balled fist as it still waters like a river.

She heaved a sigh as she tried to calm her chest when Santana's last words hit her like a fucking cold shower. Admitting that she's startled when she heard the brunette released those words automatically made her heart flutter, her head spin, and the butterflies to swim and fly inside her stomach. This can't be happening right?

Brittany's over her, that's what she said, that's what she should be saying, and that's what she should be showing. But right now? What she just felt it totally screams 'I still love you, Santana. I still do.' and that's what makes everything worse and not going in the right way. The plan is going down and that can't happen!

Oh well maybe let's say that she's still in love with Santana, but the rage and the anger that has been dwelling in her chest made things blurry. The love she felt made things blurry!

She momentarily closed her eyes as the Latina's voice continued playing. If Santana still loves her, then why she left? Why? Hundreds of why's. She just needed a reason! Explanations! And she'll make sure to make things just like before. _Just like before_.

"Thank god you're up, I wonder what Santana did to you and you're still dead asleep." Quinn bolted inside the other blonde's room as she automatically slumped down beside Brittany grabbing the remote as she looked for something to watch. "Feel better?" she asked, Brittany just nodded in response as she mirrored her best friend's smile.

Brittany propped her elbow and adjusted her seat to snuggle beside Quinn, the other blonde placed her arm by Brittany's shoulder and rubbed her best friend's arm soothingly.

"Why did you let her take care of me?"

"Oh trust me, she almost burned the whole studio down when she knew that you're sick and she almost killed me for not giving her my home keys."

And now that's Santana.

Brittany bit her lower lip for it was twitching to form a goof smile for she can actually imagine the brunette yelling and having a panic attack when she knew that she was sick. She just heaved a deep sigh, her congestion easing off. Her best friend just continued watching TV as she can feel that her eyes droopily closed and the whole world was again shutting off.

* * *

"Britt, are sure you can do it?" Quinn asked eagerly.

"Hell yes. I mean… I hate that stuff you made me take but it's sort of worth it because I feel brand new. Thanks Quinn." Brittany cheered as she fixed everything she needed for the shoot.

Tina called earlier that one of the blondes should be there in the venue to take over. It was sort of big shoot but Tina said that it can be handled alone, so. And the Asian badly needed someone to accompany her in a bigger event back in the studio.

"Did Tina tell you what kind of shoot was that?" Brittany asked whilst placing another tripod by the door, the other blonde just shook her head in response. "Nope, she just said that it was an open shoot, so."

"Oh, then I'll be needing more reflectors." She mumbled before grabbing another pair of light reflectors by the cabinet.

Thank God, by the moment she opened her eyes this morning she felt way way better than yesterday, she still have a cold, yes. But it can be handled. And she really has to thank Santana for taking care of her yesterday.

"I'll stuff this down." Quinn suggested before grabbing two carryall and head towards the door. Brittany just nodded furiously as she swung the orange juice her best friend prepared, humming at the sweet taste that reached her throat refreshing her insides.

"You feeling okay?"

"God! Quinn I told you-"she whined as she slowly spun around. "-I'm fi-_Santana!_" she gasped when her eyes landed on a certain Latina, she swallowed dryly as her eyes wandered the brunette's body who's leaning by the door wearing a dopy grin.

Brittany again gulped when Santana shoved her hand onto her back pocket as she walked towards her.

"What are you doing here?" Brittany questioned her eyes landing on Santana's goodies. She automatically averted her eyes somewhere else when the other girl threw her a devious smirk when the Latina caught her staring at her boobs.

"I just wanna check if you're okay." Santana shrugged as she took a seat opposite from Brittany. The blonde hastily swung the glass empty to release the tension that has been burning inside her.

Brittany just gave Santana a knowing look, as the brunette just continued staring at her, her brows knitted together and her mouth slightly ajar.

"I'm fine." Brittany finally mumbled as she wiped the liquid that freely escaped her mouth. Santana just continued watching her like she was expecting something from the blonde.

Brittany coughed lightly, breaking the silence between the two of them as she walked towards the door. _This is awkward!_ "Thank you for taking care of me." She uttered almost inaudible.

"You're welcome." Santana smiled sweetly as she followed Brittany's trance watching how the blonde fix her stuff.

Brittany awkwardly returned the smile as she slid her laptop. She jolted a little in the sudden footsteps followed by Quinn's voice detonating inside the whole apartment.

"Perfect!" Quinn nearly yelled as she clasped her hands together, holding Brittany by her shoulder to separate the closing of space between the two girls, she stepped between them instead. "Brittany here needed some help for the shoot. Are you free?" Quinn blurted as she looked at the pair alternatingly.

"Sure. I'm a hundred percent free " Santana automatically answered as she tried to lock her eyes with Brittany's.

Brittany eyed Quinn like she was about to bite the other blonde's head off as she mouthed 'Fuck?' Quinn just shrugged as she nodded furiously at the brunette's reply ignoring Brittany's death glares.

Brittany just closed her eyes as she tried to calm her chest, and now she'll kill Quinn. Sorry Rach! She ran her clammy hands through her blonde locks as she can see on the corner of her eyes that Santana has been smiling widely at her. "Great." She muttered sarcastically.

"Awesome! I'll help you with this." Santana muttered enthusiastically as she grabbed the duffel bag from Brittany's hand and head towards the door. Brittany watched Santana disappeared before punching Quinn's arm playfully.

"I fucking hate you Q." she whispered. Quinn just smirked in reply as she entered the bathroom door, leaving the other blonde continued burning holes onto her head.

* * *

The whole ride, Brittany can't help but throw glances at the brunette from time to time and she knew the Latina did the same. She just clutched the hem of her shirt to relieve the burning feeling inside her. For the second time she's alone with this woman, just look at what happen yesterday, something was revealed but that's not enough though.

Santana just gave her subtle smile and nods every time their eyes linked.

"Were here." Santana finally mumbled before turning off the ignition. The blonde just gave a weak smile before unlatching the seatbelt and walked out the car.

She almost lost it her hands automatically sweat like a river, her heart started pumping beyond normal and she can't hear anything but the continuous pounding of her chest when her eyes roamed the whole place landing on arch of flowers, organized seats, gazebo and dresses. Theme of yellow struck her eyes, and everything that shouldn't be flashing back hit her.

She bit her lower lip as the number of people increases, the rage that haven't appeared for almost a week coiled once again. For all of the events that she has to handle, like seriously a wedding? A wedding for God sake! And oh, that's not the best part. She's with Santana for fuck sake! She placed her hands by her temple for her headache was like again striking. And oh! The theme- yellow. Just great! Do they have something black in here? And she may have to burn this whole place dow-.

"Where will I place this?" Her trance was disturbed when Santana's enthusiastic voice rang all through her ears the brunette was practically balancing the materials in her arms. She closed her eyes to slightly calm her chest before mirroring the brunette's smile as she pointed onto the gazebo gaining the brunette to nod furiously before turning on her heels.

Making sure Santana was practically distant Brittany automatically fished out her phone before tapping Quinn's phone number and hastily placed it by her ear as and she was greeted by Quinn's perky voice. Brittany didn't even manage to greet her best friend back as she can feel her heart thumping inside her.

"It's _a fucking wedding_ Q! How am I supposed to handle this?" She whispered but the tone she was using was practically scary as she took a glance at Santana's direction, making sure the brunette won't hear anything she was saying. Making sure that the brunette won't think that she has any idea in any of this.

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. UGH! I promise to update way longer next week. (: Again! One word: REVIEW! **


	13. Another Bunch of Lies

**A/N: UPDATE (: **

"Do you Brittany Susan Pierce take Santana Marie Lopez as your lawful wife?"

Brittany can't help but smile widely she can almost feel her mouth ripping off. This is it.

"I do." she answered enthusiastically glancing at the girl beside her. Her lips automatically formed into a wide smile when her eyes landed on the Latina's happy face. She shakily offered her hand before giving Santana a nod, the brunette gave her a confident beam before intertwining their hands as one.

"Do you Santana Marie Lopez take Brittany Susan Pierce as your lawful wife?"

"I do." The Latina answered as she gave the blonde's hand a squeeze.

Brittany can feel the light throbbing in her chest eased off as everything went mute she can hear nothing but the continuous playing of the brunette's voice, the thumping once again coiled when the whole place was engulfed by the darkening sky. She held her wife's hand like her depended on it and she can feel the sudden dwelling of her tears by the corner of her eyes as the dark tried to immerse her wife as well, she can feel that Santana has been trying to struggle off the darkness that has been trying to pull her away.

"Santana." She pleaded.

And everything in her mind went gloomy and turned black like she was engulfed by the darkness as well, she slowly held out her hand for she can again feel the tight grip Santana just gave her like it was real at all. It can't be.

Thank God for the orchestra that started playing the wedding's theme song breaking the stance she has been on, Brittany heaved a deep sigh as she adjusted the strap of her camera before fidgeting the tripod before her. She has to make herself busy or else lots of other imagination will just continuously played on her mind, as if it never happened before.

Thanks to Quinn, if it wasn't for her - Brittany would have lost it and fucking announce to everyone that Santana and her were supposed to be married as well. And if it wasn't the fact that Santana left her then they would probably have a happy family, a baby maybe, she literally face palmed when that fantasy suddenly snapped out as the visitors started applauding.

"Just relax." She continuously chanted as she continued snapping pictures, she watched Santana by the corner of her eyes seeing the Latina continued adjusting the reflector. It's already half way of the wedding and she knows that she only needed to compose herself from time to time just to be able to let this event finish. "Relax." That's what her best friend told her.

Everything is flashing back as the soon to be husband and wife exchanged their vows. She can feel her heart tightening as the crowd went wilder, the yellow theme invading her vision ignited the rage inside her, adding the bunch of yellow butterflies flew and filled the open space making the sky like a small paradise as the butterflies continued wandering the whole area, a little smile lingered on her lips when one of it alight by her forearm.

The same smile lingered on Santana's lips as she watched the blonde stared at the butterfly who continuously flaps it's wings. There was a part of her, which has been saying that telling the truth will make everything better, whilst lying once again will make things even better, and she definitely needed to go with the latter. She just needed to.

* * *

After the ceremony and bunch of picture takings from the bridesmaids up to the family members, the anger that Brittany has been feeling is like a fucking tornado trying to escape from her, for every smile she has been seeing from the visitors makes her feel dizzy and the growing number of pictures of the newlyweds made her heart burn with jealousy. She didn't even try to connect her eyes with Santana for she may have to fucking lost it and ended up throwing the camera on the Latina's face.

"Could you adjust it a little?" she nearly yelled whilst peeking through the viewfinder. She fucking held her breath when the Latina's last words on their wedding again struck her along with the darkening of the sky.

Santana took a few steps back as she held the reflector tightly. From time to time she gave Brittany a small smile but the blonde refused to even look at her, she just sighed deeply for the blonde might be very tired and plus she was sick yesterday, so.

"Is this enough?" she yelled back.

"More." Brittany answered more of huff actually, the anger inside her is like already on the highest degree and she can't handle it anymore, this time she locked her eyes with the brunette as she gave the other a girl a glare, she can feel her tightening grip on her camera and she knew that her knuckles are practically white.

Santana smiled sweetly as she again took a few steps back. She just gave a sweet smile on the newlyweds for they eye the two girls confusedly.

"This?"

Brittany can feel the incoming tears stinging her eyes, she knew that only a matter of time these tears will fall and she can't let that happen. Just no! "More."

Santana just nodded before taking another steps backward, she gave Brittany a questioning look for she was really sort of distant from the subject, does still have some effect on the picture? "Does still have some effect?"

Brittany just stared at Santana, she subtly tilted her head to keep the tears from falling. "Yes." She choked out. "More." She whispered lowly, she heaved a deep sigh to compose herself.

* * *

After a few more shots, the whole area started to get less crowded. Brittany kept a fake smile written all over her face as the wedding planner talked to her, she just needed to calm. Just relax.

"Thank you Brittany, it was really a great idea that I chose you." Maggie- the wedding planner told Brittany as she offered her hand.

"It was great working with you too." Brittany nodded as she shook the other blonde's hand.

They both snapped their head on the sky when a sudden thunder blared all throughout the place followed by the small raindrops that reached their foreheads. "I think we should get going." The smaller girl mumbled as she shoved her hand by her blazer's pocket.

"Right." Brittany answered as she brought the back of her hand by her forehead. They said their goodbye's before Brittany ran inside the gazebo, she automatically frown when she saw Santana approaching her whilst holding the reflector out as she placed it over Brittany's head trying to block the raindrops.

"You're gonna be sick again." The brunette mumbled whilst frantically balancing the equipment over Brittany's head. She gave Santana a scowl before swatting the reflector off of her and running to the gazebo as fast she can.

Santana gave her a worried look before placing the reflector over her head instead, she followed Brittany's trance for the rain was getting heavier followed by the continuous streaks of lightning.

Brittany slid everything inside the bag as she can barely hear the approaching footsteps behind her. She can feel the loud pounding of her chest as she tried to arrange everything. And the luck would have it, everything is flashing back in time with the heavier rain that almost deafens her.

"We can't leave yet." Santana mumbled calmly when she followed the blonde on her way out of the door. She tried to look for Brittany's orbs but the blonde kept her head down as she can barely hear the continuous sniffling sounds.

"Yes w-we can, if you don't want to leave then stay here." She said weakly before turning on her heels, she bit her lower lip when she felt warm hands held her wrist making her heart stop beating she let out a ragged sigh as the rain poured harder making it more impossible for the two of them to leave the gazebo.

"No, Brittany… will you just please listen to me." Santana tried to give Brittany a stern voice but it came out more of like a plead she felt that the blonde weakly give up as she let her limbs fell freely, she dragged Brittany by the nearest bench before sitting beside her.

She can feel Santana's eyes on her as she clung on her shirt like her depended on it. And that's what it took for Brittany's tears to fall as she choked something out. "Why do you think she left me?" she muttered as she brought her palm to wipe the tears that freely escaped her blue eyes.

She didn't mean to be this dramatic but, c'mon with what happened all day you may have to fucking lose your mind if you can't let those tears fall.

Santana just stared at her, her brows knitting together. She mirrored the blonde as she just continued looking at Brittany who has been biting her lower lip, she can almost taste blood on how bruising she has been biting her flesh. She protectively placed her arm over chest just to stop herself from placing her arms around the blonde and rock her until her tears ceases. But doing that right now, will surely just ignite Brittany's feelings.

"It was my wedding, they said." Brittany started as she locked her eyes with the Latina. "And then… she left me in the altar, I mean in my fucking wedding. Why? Why would she do that? Everybody was saying that I'm pretty- they even say I'm nice and everything. But why would she leave me? Did I do something wrong?" Brittany ranted as she continuously wiped the incoming tears. "Is it something I did? Huh? Santana?"

Santana just watched the blonde, her eyes fixated on the other girl's lips. She wanted to bring the back of her hand by the blonde's cheeks and dab those tears away she hated seeing this woman cry and guess what it's because of her.

"I mean I really don't know what exactly happened that day, and thank God that I don't know, because I have amnesia and everything it still fucking hurts. _It fucking hurts_. Until now I was thinking what I did to make her leave me, because Quinn said that I loved her, I did. And she said that- that woman l-loved me more than h-her life. I was t-trying to get the information from everyone who that girl is, but I e-ended up with this-" she said as she pointed to herself. "- a different B-Brittany, hurt and depressed a-about the same person." She stammered. "I mean… did sh-she even love m-me?"

Santana kept her head down as every words of the blonde hit her like a fucking baseball bat, she can feel the continuous pounding of her chest along with the heavy rain like it was mourning with Brittany. She wanted to say it - the real reason behind all these! But no- it'll make things even more complicated.

"She did." The brunette whispered lowly. "Maybe she's just scared to hurt you." she added.

That's the most irritating answer ever! Like seriously? Can't she come up of any better reasons or explanations? Even though if she really had amnesia then that would still be the most stupid answer. "Hurt me? You said she loved me, then she'll end up hurting me? That's bullshit!"

"Maybe if that wedding took place then… only a matter of time she will just hurt you."

Oh! Here's another! "And now that's more bullshit! Why did she even asked me to fucking marry her?" Brittany huffed as she faced the Latina.

"Just like you said she loved you more than her life, then she will do everything just to be with you."

"Then she left? Because guess what… that doesn't make any sense. I was hit by a car and everything and the reason behind it because she doesn't want to hurt me at all. Just wow." Brittany mumbled sarcastically as she ran her hands through her blonde locks.

Brittany watched Santana closed her eyes as she tried to calm her chest. _Just fucking tell the truth!_

Santana just shook her head in response before biting her lip. "I don't know." She finally mumbled as she ran her damp hands over her jeans.

_I can't tell you that I'm supposed to die a year ago, and I don't want leave you broken than ever, I can't let you fall in love with me even though I know that I'm dying. That's how much I love you Brittany. _

They fell in the most awkward silence aside from the sniffling sounds from Brittany. She let out a deep sigh when the rain eased off giving the whole place a shimmering glow. "I'll drive you home." Santana said before picking the bag of equipment on the cold floor.

**A/N: Still short! Ugh! At least I sort of filled some blanks for you guys. **

**Who's Team Brittany right now? And Team Santana?**


	14. NOTE 2

Hi!

So I was thinking if I should still continue this Fic. I don't mean to be over sensitive and all, but the fact that I sort of got a few, not actually a few negative comments and reviews which I rejected about the previous chapter- Another Bunch of Lies. Saying that it was predictable and stuff. So... And sorry for dragging Santana's lies and all, I'm just trying to stick to my storyline, few more chapters my draft says so don't worry, which aren't mostly found on the movie.

So let me know. I'll be waiting for your opinions :)


	15. The Pursuit

**A/N: I'm back! So last week (was that last week? LOL) **_**obviously**_** I over reacted. Sorry! And I just wanted to say thank you for the thousandth time for everyone who told me to continue and go on with the story (which I obviously prompted) and I was pretty glad that there are actual people reading this thing. (I thought I was just doing this for fun) Anyways! Thank you! You guys are awesome!**

**Enjoy!**

The loud blaring of the alarm woke Brittany up, she slowly flutter her eyes open and adjusted her eyes in the sudden brightness sipping through her window. She groaned loudly before tapping the gadget off and lazily placed the pillow over her head whilst closing her eyes tight shut.

"I hate you Santana!" she yelled, her voice went out muffled as she added pressure on the pillow over her head.

Once again everything flashed back, everything that happened a week ago. Everything.

Santana's last words nostalgically played.

"_She's sorry, you know." The brunette mumbled lowly. _

_This has to be the only word that Brittany has been waiting for, all this time. A little sorry and explanation, then everything would be fine. Everything would go on its own way. _

_Brittany just bit her lower lip and nod before closing the door behind her. She can hear the fading footsteps of Santana along with the tears that once again her eyes letting to fall. _

"_I know." Brittany choked out before bringing the back of her hand by her cheek to wipe the tears that already escaped her eyes. _

It'll be 3 weeks before Christmas, and the snow started to fall. It's been a week since Santana has never showed any weakness when it comes to getting Brittany back. At the end of every day, the wedding would flashback and she would ended up snapping on Santana and everything but every morning the Latina would still be the first person Brittany would see, like she'll prepare special breakfast for the blonde and she would always help Brittany in every projects they would do.

Quinn was away for almost a week she said that she has something in Lima and there she left the other blonde with Santana's presence every time she would woke up and every time she would close her eyes. It'll be a sin if she'll deny she didn't enjoy those times with the brunette, laughing in front of the TV whilst clutching a bowl of popcorn on their hands. It just reminds the old days.

Brittany rolled over before tearing another groan from the back of her throat.

It's happening!

* * *

"Morning, Q." Brittany cheered as she entered the kitchen the other blonde a quick peck on the cheek.

Quinn mirrored Brittany's smile as she took a seat beside her best friend. She eyed the blue-eyed girl questioningly when Brittany continued shimmying in her seat and looking at her expectantly. "Problem?" she asked as she took a sip of her coffee.

Brittany gave her a pout as she carefully grabbed the coffee Quinn has prepared. "What date is today?" she retorted as she brought the lid by her mouth.

Quinn tilted her head as she placed her pointer finger by her chin and hummed. "First week of December?"

"I mean the exact date." She added sternly.

Quinn just knit her brows together as she let a few seconds pass before answering.

"4th of December?" Quinn inquired innocently. Brittany just gave her an unimpressed look as she stirred her coffee an obvious pout playing along her lips.

"Oh!" Quinn exclaimed causing Brittany to snap her head and eyed Quinn hopefully, she even clasped her hands together before grinning widely. "We have a children birthday party to shoot." Quinn cheered back as she swung her mug empty and head towards the bathroom.

Brittany's smile automatically vanished as her face fell down. Seriously? "You've got to be kidding me!" she yelled at the other blonde receiving a loud slamming of the bathroom door. "Right. You're serious."

"B, you okay?" Quinn asked as she eyed her best friend shortly and averting her eyes back on the road.

Brittany just nodded and gave Quinn a glare before letting her eyes wander the road. The traffic jam has been sort of on today causing them to be late for like 15 minutes.

Brittany's lips automatically tugged to form a wide grin when loud screeching of children's voice blared followed by the continuous singing of happy birthday song. She adores kids like everything about them it's just so cute and perfect, their little hands and feet clapping and running around just shows the happiness and spotless of guilt, fear and anger.

Just the idea of being a kid made her smile and daydream about having her own child someday.

She immediately unlatched her seatbelt before stepping out the car, her brows automatically knit together when her eyes landed on an empty place aside from a confined hall by the middle. The excitement once again flared when the singing once again started.

"Let's go." Quinn said as she linked her arm with Brittany's. Quinn motioned Brittany to bow her head as she slung the camera strap on the other blonde's neck before pulling Brittany inside the hall.

Brittany's heart automatically pumped gallons of blood as they were engulfed by the complete darkness, she tightened her grip on Quinn's arm as she brought her other hand by her lips biting her nails. She can feel her hand sweating as she tried to keep herself upright.

"Is this a children's party? Why is it dark?" Brittany asked nervously as she tugged Quinn's arm. "Fuck Quinn. I-It's dark." Her voice went out small as she kept her arm linked with her best friend. She felt Quinn's arm loosened causing her to grip on it tighter.

"B, just relax, will you?" Quinn mumbled. Brittany kept her eyes tight shut before nodding, it was pretty useless for they can barely see each other. "I think I should call Mrs Doyle." Quinn added as she shuffled in her place. "Fuck, I forgot my phone." She yelped.

Brittany immediately pulled her arm off of Quinn's before fishing her phone out. "Here." She said breathlessly. She almost lost it when her side felt cold, and immediately tapped her phone on before blindly waving it where Quinn has been standing a while ago. "Quinn! This isn't funny." She yelled, but her voice went out like a plead as she can feel the fear overpowering her senses. "Qui-"

She was shortly cut off when streaks of lights filled the whole area. "This is not funny, I'm fucking serious!" she yelled sternly. The fear was a little being torn out as the anger struck her insides. She almost swallowed her tongue when a large plasma screen in front of her turned on followed by another loud screeching of children voices.

She kept her eyes plastered on the screen as her mouth felt dry.

"It's my princess's first birthday." A male voice said happily in the video. "I'm so excited." He added when he entered the house before almost stumbling when group of children appeared out of nowhere.

Brittany automatically brought her both hands by her mouth when the camera stay upright and showed the house's view.

Now everything made sense.

It was their house back in Lima, where she spent 18 years of her life before her and Quinn transferred to Los Angeles and took a college degree.

Her tears automatically dwelled in the corner of her eyes when her dad let the camera faced him as he wave and make some funny faces. And he continued his trance on their dining room, where a large cake was perfectly placed over the table along with the other delicious looking food. She smiled giddily when her mom appeared and there was a little blue-eyed girl hanging on her side as she sucked on her thumb.

Brittany even giggled, the kid looked so bewildered about what was happening around her before tugging her ponytail and started wailing. "No baby, Brittany don't cry." Her mother cooed as she tried to keep the child to stop crying.

And that's what it took for her tears to fall as the video continued followed by 16 more videos of her birthday parties. She even cackled when her dad got her wish recorded.

"I wish my dad and mom would stop giving me birthday parties, for I'm already in high school and it's pretty embarrassing that I'm still having some birthday parties. " a 16-year old Brittany let out boringly before blowing the trail of candles followed by the voices singing happy birthday.

Happy Birthday to you.

Happy Birthday to you.

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday!

Brittany let her eyes wander the dark place, and she can barely see anything as she continued wiping the tears that freely escaped and she literally leapt when all the lights went on revealing the whole place- she can't help but let her smile to appear when her eyes landed on the exact theme and designs on their Junior Prom.

She swallowed dryly when Rachel appeared out of nowhere and started singing the same song she sang that night, making Brittany's legs felt weak. Followed by the continuous appearance of the people back in McKinley, there were Finn, Rory, Sugar, Joe, Tina, Mike, Artie, Quinn and of course Rachel who has been tearing her throat out. I can feel the whole place spinning as everything that night flashback - even there dresses and suits were exactly the same.

I gave Quinn a weak smile when she started to walk towards me. She gave the others one last glance before Quinn tugged Brittany inside a room filled with different types of dresses, her eyes immediately found the green fancy dress, along with her other accessories that night.

"Q, thank you." Brittany finally mumbled as she walked out the room, the dress was a bit of short and tight by the torso but it's just enough for her to breathe properly and her hair gorgeously flowed over her shoulder. Junior Year!

The music was again on, it's Sam's turn to sing something melodic and gentle, and all of them were slow dancing as they clung to each other. Her eyes automatically landed on Puck, Mercedes and Kurt along with his boyfriend Blaine enjoying the music as they swung and kept each other's company. "Don't thank me." Quinn whispered by her ear causing the shiver to run down her spine before the other blonde gave her a confident smile and walked towards Rachel who has been bugging Mike to dance with her.

Brittany's eyes wandered the whole place, her hands automatically turned into a fucking river and she has to hold her breath as she grip the hem of her dress when her blue eyes met with chocolate brown who looked at her lovingly.

"Quinn told me that you don't have a partner, Junior year." Santana mumbled lowly. Brittany got her mouth agape as she looked at the brunette in front of her, she's wearing tight red dress that gorgeously flowed down her thighs. "Can I have this dance?" she added as she offered her hands to Brittany.

Brittany kept her eyes plastered on Santana's tanned hands, reminiscing the last memorable moment she held this hand, and she immediately shook her head burying the memory of that moment, even just this moment.

Not now.

She shakily took Santana's hand before mirroring the Latina's smile. Santana immediately tightened her grip on the pale hand when the awaited warmth reached hers and made her head spin.

_Ah_

_Or on the crowded _

_Avenue but they all disappear_

_From view and I only have eyes _

_Only have eyes for you _

"Why are you doing these?" Brittany asked as she shakily placed her arms by Santana's neck. She can feel the tightening of her chest as the brunette's perfume reached her nose, bringing all the memories she had with this woman.

Santana just hummed as she locked her eyes with Brittany. "I just want you to experience everything you missed." She answered matter-of-factly before resting her forehead with the blonde's. "Everything." she added.

"Brittany." Brittany held her breath when their faces were millimetres apart she can even feel the hot breath that reached he cheeks every time the Latina would breathe out, making her legs buckle. "I love you." Santana breathed out, halting Brittany's swaying movement as she looked at Santana her mouth wide open whilst her eyes practically popping out.

"Enough of that! Cake time!" Kurt hollered in time Brittany's heart exploded. Lots of tingles ran down her spine as Santana's words played. Everybody gathered in the middle of the room whilst 9 cakes with numbers 18 up to 25 was perfectly placed over the table making Brittany's smile reached ear to ear.

"Blow. Blow!" Everybody chanted as they looked at Brittany happily. She just nodded before taking a deep breath and blowing every cake her eyes landed on.

"I think I'm already 26." Brittany stated as she let out a small giggle, gaining fits of laughter around her.

She slowly spun her heels when someone coughed behind her, she bit her lower lip when her eyes landed on Santana whilst holding a cupcake and numbers 2 and 6 pinned on it.

"Happy 26th birthday." Santana muttered as she walked towards the blonde.

Everything went mute but the sound of Santana's heels clanking on the clod floor, the little butterflies once again made the happy dance inside her stomach whilst her heart almost leapt out for the pounding was almost just below her ear deafening her.

"Brittany."

Brittany just stared at her watching the Latina opened and closed her mouth like she was forming the right words to be said. She gave the Latina a real smile before lowering her head and blowing the flame off the candles.

"You don't have to say anything, Santana." Brittany mumbled before facing their friends who started hollering, Rachel even reached for the microphone and started busting the audience's ears.

Brittany subtly eyed the Latina before lowering her hand and intertwining her fingers with Santana's, making her heart pump normal and automatically felt the safety she has been craving for. "Thank you." she whispered lowly before letting her eyes relish the happiest birthday party ever.


	16. The Stars

**A/N: So… I decided to adjust the sexy times for two more chapters. LOLS! You guys are awesome!**

* * *

_**December 7**_

"Britt, I told you. I don't know." Quinn whined rolling her eyes in frustration.

Brittany continued glaring before turning on her heels and walked towards the other blonde's table, securely placing her both hands on the edge of the wooden furniture and eyed Quinn noxiously .

"And how do you explain all that home videos?" she questioned irritably.

Quinn just gave her a knowing look before heaving a deep sigh and nodded. She completely closed the lid of her laptop and faced Brittany. Brittany continued giving her a questioning look and pushed the hair that had fallen from her ponytail out of her eyes.

Quinn left Lima a week ago because Santana asked her to do so, she's pretty mad with Santana but there's a part of her that she wanted to help the other girl. It's been a month since Santana and Brittany's destinies crossed making the other blonde alive more than ever, the way her eyes would glow every time the brunette would walk in and the way she would stutter every time the Latina would started talking, she knows that Brittany is still figuring out whether the decision of forgiving Santana is still there hanging, but seeing her best friend smile and flickers her eyes showing that she's happy then that would be the best thing a best friend could ask for.

Quinn clasped her hands together and with a sigh she crossed her arms over her chest and mirrored Brittany's look. "I don't know." She finally mumbled breaking their staring contest. "You know Santana, she can do anything she wanted." She confidently added.

Brittany just stared at her, contemplating whether she should believe the other blonde's words. She stared at Quinn's brow waiting for the usual quirking every time she would lie about something. She rolled her eyes when Quinn stared at her innocently, well Quinn maybe doesn't know anything about it. She placed her hand by her hips and walked back to her table and slumped down burying her head over her arms before groaning loudly.

"Why are you curious anyways? It's been 2 days." Quinn muttered anxiously and hastily opening her laptop before shakily entering her password.

Brittany once again let out another groan be torn in the back of her throat startling Quinn causing the other blonde to snap her head back to her. "Just like you, I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I know that I hate her, still." She answered off topic.

She indeed hates Santana, she hates her for leaving without any reason, making her miserable more than ever. But… after their encounter, then once again her life went on. She get to have some reasons to wake every morning knowing that in no time Santana will be finally admitting the real reason behind the incident. Saying that she's just scared and everything doesn't make any sense but if that's the real reason behind it, then be it.

Taking her bottom lip between her teeth before sticking it out and shrugged. "She said she still loves me." She admitted lowly in time her heart started pounding.

The way that Santana let her mouth slip those words made everything white and quiet. The time that their eyes were connected was practically short but the intensity of their eye contact that night was unforgettable. It was remarkable.

"You still love her." Quinn stated and rested her back against the leather chair, a worried look written all over her face. "- don't you?"

Brittany just stared at her, her mouth suddenly felt dry and her voice seemed out.

"I don't know."

* * *

The three girls entered the lounge room and their eyes automatically landed on the formality of the event, causing Rachel to tighten her grip on her girlfriends' warm hand and bit her lip practically bruising.

Brittany roamed the whole room and the insecurity immediately ran through her veins, those gowns and tucks were just so intimidating. They were too wearing a simple looking dress, hers a light pink tube like dress that's trimmed by her knees showing her long legs, it pretty matches the tint pink of her cheeks whilst her blonde locks gorgeously flowed over her shoulder and a small oval medallion hung from a thin necklace around her neck. Rachel is wearing a white long gown with a strapless top that went straight across with diamonds that sparkles along it. Whilst Quinn is wearing a quite elegant dress that's sequined all over and it's rich Champaign color brought out the best features in her it's strapless top showed off her collarbones and her petite shoulders.

Quinn eyed the smaller girl thoughtfully before giving Rachel's hand a loving squeeze and a sweet smile making the smaller girl relax.

"Oh God, it think that's Carmen Tibideaux." Rachel lowly whimpered before bringing her head by Quinn's shoulder burying her face by the pale neck making Quinn giggle at her girlfriend's silliness.

"Baby, relax." She cooed before bringing her hand and cupping by Rachel's frame, the smaller girl automatically leant on the touch whilst flickering her eyes on her girlfriend. "You'll do great. I promise." She muttered before pecking the brunette quickly on the lips. "Right Britt?" Quinn asked before spinning her heels her eyes landing on Brittany holding two cupcake whilst other stuff in her mouth.

"You'll do great, Rach." Brittany managed to agree cheerfully between chomps of sweet course. Rachel and Quinn let out an audible giggle before tugging Brittany inside the round room.

* * *

Brittany smiled giddily as she brought her free hand by her forehead and wipe the small prickle of sweat dwelling on it.

"Are you okay, Britt?" Quinn asked as they watched Rachel took the stage and held the microphone.

Brittany kept her eyes plastered on the stage and nodded vigorously. "I'm nervous for her." She rasped out. Quinn giggled before averting her eyes back to her girlfriend who had her eyes practically closed losing herself on the incoming notes.

_O holy night_

_The stars are brightly_

_Shining_

_It is the night of our dear_

_Saviour's birth_

_Long lay the world_

_In sin and error pining_

_Till He appeared_

_And the soul felt its worth_

"Shit. Me too." Quinn whimpered before shimmying in her seat to get a better view of her girlfriend.

_A thrill of hope, the_

_Weary world_

_Rejoices, for_

_Yonder breaks a_

_New and glorious morn_

_Fall_

_On your knees... _

_O hear the angel voices_

_O night divine_

It's Rachel's first time to be called to perform here in NYADA since she graduated 3 years ago- Carmen Tibideaux herself called the small diva to show the freshmen how a performer should be performing thanks to Rachel's on going and growing career in Broadway, it's pretty alluring to watch someone you know for such a long time reaching their dreams and helping them reach it.

The crowd went wild as soon as Rachel's voice faded out, leaving everybody's ears the tingling sensation of the remarkable song. Rachel took one last bow before walking towards the two blondes who were smiling ear to ear as they watched everybody followed the little diva's trance towards them, and engulfing them in a bear hug.

"As always baby… awesome!" Quinn cheered before offering the seat beside her.

Brittany gave her a sweet smile and a vigorous nod before letting her eyes wander the empty stage. She smiled giddily when a familiar fair and tall man took the floor, and of course his appearance screams fashion!

"Oh my God, is that Kurt?" Quinn asked Rachel who has been dabbing a piece of tissue by the corner of her face who nodded enthusiastically in response.

"He's astounding." Rachel stated confidently and plastered her eyes on Kurt's direction.

Brittany's mouth fell to the ground, just like Rachel's the light dimmed and the spotlight slowly giving him the centre of attention ordering everyone to just look at him and only him. Brittany clasped her hands together as she felt the eagerness to listen at her friend's voice struck her it's been a long time since she heard Kurt sing, it was a month before the fucking wedding.

The light once again streak filling the whole round room along with the continuous applaud and cheers coming from the audience. That was just wow!

"How come you didn't tell me that you'll be here too? You sound so great. " Rachel asked excitedly as she latched her arms around Kurt's neck.

"You didn't tell you'd be here too. They called me just this morning. And God, you do too. " Kurt automatically answered as he returned the hug and smiled sweetly at her friend. "Hey Quinn." He muttered and leant down to give the blonde a squeeze. He literally squeaked when his eyes landed on Brittany who has been blankly wandering by the dessert courses.

"Britt! I missed you." he squealed before engulfing the other blonde in a tight hug. Brittany grunt in response before chuckling breathily and tapped Kurt's shoulder. "Sorry." He apologised chuckling as he adjusted his bow.

"I missed you too Kurt. You were really really great up there." Brittany complemented as she tugged Kurt back to the group, gaining fits of giggles from the others.

"Hey Quinn, I'm just gonna stroll around." Brittany stated as she fidgeted the strap of her dress, gaining a confused look from the other blonde. "I needed some air."

"You okay?" Quinn automatically asked before the back of her hand went autopilot over Brittany's forehead checking her temperature.

"God Quinn, I'm fine." Brittany giggled and swatted the pale hands over her face.

She just needed some air, this place is pretty crowded and she hears nothing but Broadway, audition here and there and some musical shits, so staying in here for another minute will make her pass out or better breathe fire.

Quinn just stared at her as she fished out the other blonde's phone in her purse and hand it to Brittany. "I'll call you when we need to get home, kay?"

"Hey, babe can you come with me for a minute?" Rachel bounced out of nowhere as she beamed excitedly and held her girlfriend's forearm before pointing by the nearest corner where few friends of hers sat.

"B, you sure you're okay?" Quinn asked unsurely as she held out the phone. Brittany bobbed her head up and down before taking the phone off of Quinn's hand and slid it between the valley of her boobs and smiled widely at her best friend, who looked side by side observing if someone has just seen that action.

"If there's something Santana taught you that's pretty useful and embarrassing at the same time, then that's it." Quinn muttered seriously but her lips were trying to form a grin whilst she got Rachel on the other side clutching her stomach as she tried to stifle her laughter.

Brittany just playfully rolled her eyes before spinning around and head out the balcony.

The balcony is completely empty aside from one of the waiters who has been walking out leaving her alone, she took a deep breath inhaling the incoming signs of Christmas and held it a little before puffing the air out of her, Brittany automatically felt the calming of her chest as the cold air reached her bare shoulders and legs. _Fucking jacket!_ She inwardly groan before walking by the railings and rested her forearm, she jerked a little when the cold metal made contact with her pale skin.

A small smile lingers in her lips as she stared at the sky watching the stars twinkling at its earnest, like they're just there hanging watching their love ones go on with life. Her mother once told her that when you die and reached heaven you'll be one those little lights sparkling like little diamonds in the sky, and the thought makes her like a kid once again. But the fact of dying and going nowhere is something you won't think as a good thing, as the life goes on you made mistakes that'll make you stronger and things that'll make you crave for more time so that you change those things for the better, so as the time goes by the idea of dying is getting buried and forgotten but there's this fact that everybody will die and be one of those stars twinkling in the sky.

Brittany tucked the loose strands of hair by her ear as she tried to regain her breathing, that was pretty tiring to tilt you head and watch those stars twinkle endlessly not noticing the continuous clanking of heels behind her.

She almost lost it and loses her balance when her eyes landed on a brunette haired girl beside her who has been offering a blazer and smiling sweetly at her. Seriously she's here too?

"Hey." She said almost breathlessly her hand seemed to be soaked in no time. "What are you doing here?"

Brittany unconsciously licked her lower lip her mind forgetting to think straight when her eyes wandered Santana's body. The satin black dress glistened under the dimmed lights almost making it sparkle like the stars in the sky. It flowed like a river in an hour glass shape and the one strap gave it a sexy yet elegant look. If words could describe perfection, this would be it. She reflexively shook her head when the sound of Santana's tongue clicking reached her ears causing her to jolt a little.

"Saw this girl walking out here and I was like 'Woa. She's hot.'. And hastily I grabbed Puck's coat to offer that girl- this. " Santana related seriously and let out a flirty voice as she fidgeted the edges of the coat, she scoffed a little when she saw Brittany's unchanged look, she's just staring at her and back to the coat and vice versa. "I'm kidding." She finally muttered as she let her shoulder relax.

She slowly offered the coat to the blonde, seeing the little goose bump lingering by her forearm. "I know it was you, so yea. I sort growled at him when he tried to fight me." She joked trying to lighten up the mood but miserably failed when Brittany just continued staring at her, she can almost see the heaving of the blonde's chest as the air once again blew a little colder. "Just wear it, you'll get cold." Santana sternly said and draped it over Brittany's bare shoulder.

Brittany didn't make any objections though, c'mon it's fucking freezing out here. "How about you?" she confined lowly and brought her hands over her shoulder to assist Santana's ministrations, causing their fingers to slightly brush and the little tingles immediately crawled down her spine and made its way to her brain ordering to pull it off and rested it once again over the cold railings.

"I'm not cold." Santana simply answered before taking her position earlier, a little closer this time, their shoulders barely touching. The Latina let out a deep sigh and crossed her arms over her chest before following Brittany's trance on the sky.

Unknowingly the beam lingers on her lips, causing memories to rush back and made her heart flutter. "It's been almost a year." She muttered out of nowhere breaking the almost awkward silence between the two of them.

Brittany snapped her head to Santana's direction and she eyes the Latina questioningly. Santana didn't even give any signs of movement and just stared at the sky. "What?" the blonde asked.

"It's been almost a year, this girl told me that if she's gonna be given another chance to live then she would be one of those-" she stated as she held her hand high and randomly pointed onto the dark sky. Brittany just stared at Santana's face, trying to concentrate on what was the brunette was saying. "- twinkling, shining and sparkling giving an enough brightness to give other's light. It gives the needed light for the people to go on even the road is getting dark giving them the chance to live their life even though it's pretty unsure because you don't know if the road ahead has more stars to guide you." she smiled brightly.

Its Brittany's turn to avert her eyes back to the sky as everything goes on, Santana talking- relating that night they spent on Santana's apartment's roof. Giving her chest the coiling sensation and the familiar lump in her throat once again tried to make its appearance.

"She also said that she wanted to be one of those big ones so that her love ones will automatically see her every time they'll look above." She added, before closing her eyes reminiscing the exact words those lips released. "Every time I'll look above."

"And it's funny because after she said that- droplets of rain poured. I was trying to get her down the roof but she just stayed there staring at me, and I know she's not just staring she's crying… along with the pouring rain. So I held her hand and I asked her why, she just pouted at me- " Santana laughed as Brittany's image played in her mind, they were both pretty soaked but the blonde managed to wipe her tears away. " – and said that from that day onwards she'll hate rain every night for it will wash those little stars away." Santana shook her head as a little giggle escaped her lips.

"Is she a star now?" Brittany asked she can see the abrupt snapping of Santana's head on her direction.

"Almost." The raven-haired girl retorted. "She almost left everyone."

"Why?"

"Because I hurt her… way too much, actually." Santana chuckled and ran her hands through her brown locks.

"Are you sorry?" Brittany asked. This time their eyes locked just like that night in the party when Santana released those words, this time it's almost impossible for someone to disrupt this conversation.

"Very." Santana stated lowly and bit her lip. "No words can describe how sorry I am."

Brittany mirrored Santana's look trying to get everything from the brunette even a single piece of explanation will do. Just to make everything a little less blurry.

"Does she know?"

"I don't know. Maybe yes, maybe no." Santana shrugged and dragged her fingers along the cold metal contemplating the right answers to be said.

"Have you told your reasons just yet?"

"No… it would make things very very much complicated." Santana answered as she let out a defeated sigh.

"Why? How?" Brittany almost face palmed when her voice went out demeaning and demanding gaining Santana's confused looks.

Santana just heaved a deep sigh before shrugging and bringing the back of her hand by her forehead. "All I know is that… I love her. And it will stay like that." She shrugged once again. "And I'm ready to show her how much I'm willing to take every single consequence of my actions just to get her back."

"Does she still love you?"

Santana took few steps towards Brittany their face almost mere inches apart, their hot breaths mingling in every intakes of the cold air. Brittany held her breath as her eyes alternated between those brown orbs and those plump lips. She bit her lip stopping herself from leaning down and catching those lips between her own and latching her arms over that tanned neck making them as one.

"I'll make her. I promise you that Britt." Santana muttered before lowering her hand and gripped Brittany by her wrist and dragged her inside the hall.

"It's fucking cold."

Brittany dumbfounded as ever held her breathing until they reached the crowded area made her heart pump normal.

And yes that girl loves her back.

That's for one.

* * *

**A/N: There you go! Don't forget to let me know what you guys think. Thank you (:**

**And for those who were pretty disappointed about the sexy times don't worry it's on its way ;)**


	17. The Kiss

**A/N: I'm still alive, yes. And no more dragging. I swear! **

**So my friend told me that Glee might be out after season 5, and I just died! **

**Enjoy ); **

Brittany blankly brought the cup by her lips and took a sip causing the burning sensation of her tongue. "Fucking coffee." She hissed.

She managed to tip toe towards the balcony, inhaling the morning scent of Christmas causing her to cough lightly. Well honestly it's more of pollution but whatever there's already snow and mistletoe everywhere, so yeah whatever. It's barely 7 in the morning and it's pretty unusual that she's up this early, usually she'd be there balled in her bed whilst she got her alarm clock blaring or Quinn shouting.

She carefully placed the cup of coffee over the tea table before shoving her hand inside her sweater humming onto the sweet melody coming from the lower level of the building. Her eyes automatically closed as the Christmas song continued playing. It's a week before Christmas and by that the whole city is quite, actually not quite – the city is really busy, the loud honking of the cars and the alternating Christmas carols here and there. Who doesn't love Christmas? Well they say that it's should be spent with the people you love, well for now- once again she got to spend it with Quinn whilst she got her whole family on Skype, it was four consecutive Christmas she have Santana's family singing and yelling on the top of their lungs every time the grandfather's clock would tick and indicate that it's already Christmas whilst she got her lips pressed against Santana's gaining everybody's applauses and cheers. Santana's family adores her well one time they almost adopt her, but that would be awkward –so. It's pretty difficult to adjust that you don't have your love ones every holiday but life would just show you or worst slap you that you just have to live with it and be a man, well, be a woman on her behalf for its the most important holiday of the whole year, it's a day for giving and forgiving. Preparing to forget everything that happened and starting a new day, that's just how it works.

Forgiving.

Santana.

Santana.

Right. It's been a week since Santana called, since she saw her.

Is this how it works? How _she_ makes it works? When she already got Brittany thinking and confused and everything, there -she'll go missing and mute about everything.

Brittany literally jolted when her phone from her pocket buzzed, her brows knitted together when an unregistered number appeared on the screen, a normal person would go automatically swiping the unlock button and read the shit written and tap a reply or throw it onto the window or something, implausibly Brittany just stared at the phone number the white numbers showing, her heart racing like a hundred miles. And it's only a fucking phone number, well after that night Rachel accidentally given her number into this stranger on her first audition -she got a pretty unforgettable message from that man, and that's just creepy. Her head went autopilot as she looked side by side- thriller movies happened to be like this, you'll receive a text and then when you open the door someone will just stab you or poke you in the eye or something.

She shakily swiped the unlock button, her breath hitching as her thumb tapped the open message.

"Hey Britt." Quinn's perky voice blared all throughout the empty space causing Brittany's phone to literally meet the cold floor.

"Fucking hell, Q!" she yelped.

"Good morning to you too, B. That's just a nice way to greet me." Quinn retorted, sarcasm obviously dripping in her voice, she sluggishly took the other chair, and her eyes still tightly closed as she blindly reached for Brittany's coffee and took a sip before heaving a satisfied sigh. "That was a good one." She muttered, and it's only a matter of second her eyes open landing on her best friend who got her eyes plastered on the floor, staring at her phone. "Okay… the message's not gonna open itself. Just so you know."

Brittany just bit her lip, the flashing light of her phone seemed to be blinding her, is it sort of weird that she's really scared to open it? She heard the other blonde let out a deep sigh before ducking down picking the mobile phone, her reflex acting causing her arm went automatic grabbing her phone from Quinn's grasp and slid it between her legs.

Quinn let out a giggle before emptying the cup of coffee in one chug and raised her hands in defense. "I won't read it." She laughed.

Brittany continued glaring before grabbing the now empty cup and stuffed it over her chest causing Quinn to look at her amusingly. "There's more coffee in the kitchen, you know."

"I know. I love sharing coffee with you, though." Quinn teased and stuck out her tongue playfully. "So. You won't read it?"

Brittany quirked a brow as she tried to get what Quinn was imposing, it was a minute after all.

"Your phone?"

Again the anxiousness coiled inside her like an orgasm like it was just waiting to pop out. But this is way too distracting than orgasm, so whatever! She eyes her legs where her phone has been uncomfortably lying between it, she hasn't noticed that she got her thighs tensed almost giving her feet the glorious cramps.

Brittany almost lost it when Quinn's phone rang causing the cup to almost slip off of her hands, the blonde mouthed a little sorry before placing her phone over her ear.

"Hey Babe."

Brittany just rolled her eyes when Quinn mouthed 'Rachel'. Once again her eyes landed on her legs, and luckily they were just the two of them if other person would see her, then they would literally laugh at her, there's got to be a normal person staring at her crotch whilst she got a cup of coffee in her free hand. Don't vibrate please, that's just weird!

"Baby, breathe. I'm on my way. Okay? Just stay there." Quinn muttered breathlessly causing Brittany's head to snap back at her. The other blonde carelessly shoved her phone onto her pocket and scurry inside her room.

Brittany on the other hand followed Quinn's trance who has been practically pacing inside the small space whilst she got her own phone on her right hand- the text message totally forgotten.

"What happened?"

"It's Rachel, one of her dads is in the hospital, and she's a total mess." Quinn said as she grabbed her towel hanging by her closet and furiously head towards the bathroom.

"Do you want me to go with you? I know you hate hospitals." Brittany offered hopefully. Quinn gave her a tight lip smile before nodding and slammed the bathroom door.

She hurriedly made her way back to her own room and slipped her phone inside her pouch before heading towards her closet and grab whatever her hand landed on.

"Britt. Hurry!" Quinn yelled followed by the slamming of her bedroom door. Brittany eyes her pouch where her phone has been securely placed, her lower lip between her teeth, her feet continuously tapping on the tiled floor, her mind bewildered if she should read the message or not.

"Brittany!"

"Later." She finally whispered before grabbing her own towel and made her way out the door.

* * *

"Babe!" Rachel whimpered when her eyes landed on Quinn and Brittany. The brunette's arm automatically latching on the taller girl's neck burying her face onto the blonde locks, whilst she cry her eyeballs out. Quinn planted soft kisses onto her girlfriend's temple as she let out soothing words.

It's been more than 3 hours since they arrive here, comforting words flying here and there. Rachel explained everything that happened that her dad just suddenly passed out whilst having their nightly tradition and how they panic after. Quinn even scolded Rach when she told her that she has been waiting for her to wake up and wait for a decent hour that's why she only called this morning.

Brittany has been clutching her pouch her knuckles practically white as the continuous number of people being brought here in the hospital added, there were bloods everywhere, moans, groans and continuous sobbing echoed all throughout the place. No wonder Quinn hates hospital. If it wasn't the fact she loves Quinn and Rachel then she would go straight home and hide under her bed. These scenes were so frustrating!

"Britt?" Quinn asked bringing her free hand onto Britt's forearm and giving it a light squeeze whilst she got Rachel clawing her coat over her chest.

"I'll get us coffee." Brittany speaks up and clears her throat before getting up on her feet. "Rach, do you want something to eat?" she asked gaining a subtle nod and a tight lip smile.

Brittany shoved her pouch between her arms as she made her way to the cafeteria. Her eyes plastered on her feet, the frantic and worried voices blasting inside the hospital making her insides even more aware of everything.

"Oh. God sorry." She mumbled her arms went autopilot gripping the older man's shoulder helping him upright. "Are you okay?" she asked anxiously.

The man just gave her a smile and a small nod and walked away.

Her eyes automatically closed as she tried to compose herself running her clammy hands through her blonde locks.

"I bet this is yours." A male voice said, causing her eyes to snap open landing on her pouch in the stranger's pretty muscular hand.

"Puck!" she gasped as she took the leather purse and engulfed the man in a hug.

"How are you? You look great." Puck muttered and gave the blonde a squeeze. "What are you doing here? Are you sick?"

"What? Dear God No." Brittany breathed. "One of Rachel's dads is here so, she needed me and Quinn."

"Oh. Is he okay?"

"Yeah guess so. Hiram just needed some rest, the doctor said. You? What are you doing he-" Brittany was shortly cut off when a certain brunette approached the two of them, she got her eyes closed like she was trying to contain her breathing or something.

"Hey Puck, you got the bi- _Brittany._" Santana's voice hoarse and tired and she literally gasped when her eyes met the blue ones, her right hand automatically flew over her left wrist blocking the white bondage glued over it before pretending to cross it over her chest.

Brittany stared at the brunette, her dark locks flowing over her shoulder, her chocolate eyes seemed to get even darker and her tanned skin seemed to get pale. "Are you okay? Are you sick?" she asked her voice went out frantic and worried. What if Santana is sick? What if she needs some help? She's just worried, okay?

Santana let out a small chuckle as she nudged Puck's shoulder. He mirrored her look as he let out a ludicrous giggle and gave Santana's back a pat. "Do I look sick? I'm fine." She scoffed.

"It's just you look pale."

"Pale? Well… I guess…I haven't got my tan on, so… yea." Santana just stuttered.

Brittany just nodded in understanding. "So what are you guys doing here?"

The pair just exchanged questioning looks as they get the other to talk and explain something. "Erm. Puck here… asked me… if I could go with him…um…. so he could ask ….about vasectomy and stuff. Right! That's the reason."

Puck's eyes automatically widen as he nudged Santana by the ribs mouthing 'Seriously? , gaining a stern look from the brunette.

"Right, Vasectomy. I'd be better be sure, you know." He chuckled nervously as he ran his fingers through his mohawk. "I better get some pamphlets about – this." He added as his pointed on his lower half gaining fits of giggle from the two girls. "See you around, Britt." And that's what it took for him to turn on his heels and walked away, giving one last signal to Santana that he'll be waiting on the parking lot.

"Vasectomy." Brittany giggled and shook her head at the idea.

"So what are you doing here?"

"One of Rachel's dad passed out, so."

"Oh. I hope he's okay." Santana muttered lowly, her eyes plastered on her feet. "I'm sorry I haven't called you in a week. I just have to deal with some stuff."

Brittany just bit her lip and grips her pouch even tighter. "It's okay."

"Did you get my message? I asked Tina about your phone number and I almost strangled her when she was trying to trash me, I might as well hurt her, but she gave it to me anyways so, I just really wanted to get your phone number so I could ask you if we could get some coffee or hot chocolate some time, then I could personally tell you that my family wanted you to celebrate Christmas with us- so, yea. I'm rambling." Santana chuckled anxiously and took a single step towards Brittany.

The message, exactly! She hasn't got to chance to read it this morning for she was pretty occupied about the happenings. Wait… what?

"What?"

"Sorry, of course you don't want to. I mean of course you won't celebrate Christmas with bunch of strangers, that's just awkward. Yeah, just forget ab-"she was abruptly stopped when she felt warm hand pressed over her mouth pausing her incoming rambling.

Brittany got her eyes connected with Santana's, the brunette's hot breaths hitting her palm making it harder for her to breathe. Did Santana just asked her to celebrate Christmas with her? Just like before?

Santana slowly held the blonde's wrist before pulling it off her mouth. "I mean you don't have to say yes." She whispered maintaining their eye contact. "Or maybe we could talk about it over a cup of coffee?"

Brittany practically got her chest heaving. Of course she loves Santana's family, her mom and dad and her other two sisters who just adores her equally. Her family loves Santana too, they even treated her like a real daughter but after what happened in that day, everything broke down.

"Coffee."

* * *

Soooo. I really don't know what I'm doing here right now- inside this coffee shop whilst I got Santana ranting in front of me, she even cackled loudly causing me to snap my attention back to what she was saying. For almost half an hour I got my eyes plastered on her face, mostly I got myself lost in her chocolate brown eyes. The way her brows would quirk every time she would emphasize something she was trying to say and the way her lips would form a little smile or pout to intensify her story. That little dimples in her shy smile showing in every time we would fell in an awkward silence.

I miss that.

After I hand Quinn and Rachel's coffee I immediately went my way out the hospital, thanks to God that Rachel's dad is finally stable and he just needed some rest, so Quinn told me that I could go home and rest as well , which I didn't refuse. But the moment I reached our apartment, the eerie silence accompanied the cold air inside it, just made me scurry down the stairs and I even almost stumble down. So I fished my phone out, typing the number that first appeared on my mind. I was pretty shocked when raspy voice was on the other line making me confuse, how the hell I am calling Santana. Fucking phone, well I'm pretty sure that I only have my phone for communication and I'm a total ignorant when it comes to its features. So yea, I ended up asking her to meet me in this coffee shop.

Actually I'm pretty glad that I called her, I accidentally called her.

"So you ended up laughing so hard." She chuckled.

I just stare at her, my mind flying on how that day happened, it was the day after Christmas and her sisters Janica and Emily and her and I were out the streets enjoying the brink of Christmas day, balls of snow in either of our hands. When she hit Janica by the head Santana ended up laughing so hard which she didn't notice that Emily's hand was on the air throwing a snowball which securely landed on her mouth, well I'm really not sure if some of it went straight inside her mouth, she was really trying to deny that it was just indeed in the corner, and after that we all ended up laughing so hard almost making her walk out.

"So did you have something in your mouth?" I asked whilst stifling a chuckle.

She just rolled her eyes and eyed me playfully. "Yes, most of it actually." She admitted making me cackle loudly, like seriously I even got my hand over my tummy and the other gripping on the corner of the table.

"Most of it? What does it taste like?"

"Let's not go there, it's horrifying." She grimaced.

I let out few giggles before composing myself and took a sip of my coffee. "So how are they?" I asked hopefully. I wanted to know every single detail I could get about the family that I considered my second one.

I miss them.

"I think they're fine." Santana answered shortly. I quirked a brow to keep her talking which she complied in one breath. "They're great, well they're still mad at me but… I think they're catching up. After I told them that I have been talking to you again, they love you so much, sometimes I even got jealous." She joked.

"They're mad?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Well maybe because… I've been away for almost a year? I don't know."

I just nodded before munching a croissant inside my mouth, so is she saying that her family has no idea about her leaving me in the altar? Like are you fucking kidding me? So this is all about Santana's decision? I almost hated her family for not calling me after what happened well it's just because they're just as clueless as me.

"Uh. Britts, after the accident…" she trailed bringing me back to reality. "- have you ever thought of forgiving her?"

I swallowed the familiar lump in my throat as I burn under her gaze, her eyes trying to keep me talking so I averted my eyes to my fingers where I have ben fidgeting the cup of coffee in my hand.

"Have I?" I parroted and she just nodded in response. Honestly? I haven't thought about that since the first day, I don't know why did I even start this game? To hurt her? then obviously I'm failing for she was still here- trying to get me. Well, let's say I already hurt her like what she just did, what's happening next? Will I just go back to my normal routine? Taking pictures? Live and smile? Will I ever live and smile? Or be the same Brittany that she left?

"I don't know. Maybe?" I said keeping my head low.

She let out an audible sigh her fingers continued drumming over the cold wooden table. "That makes sense." She answered. "You have the right to be mad and to keep the rage about this. What she did it's not something you could just forgive and forget."

I slowly turn my eyes back to her, and seriously I just wanted to lunge at her, latch my arms around her shoulders and kiss her on the top her head, rock her until those tears faded.

"Are you crying?" I asked almost inaudible.

Santana just smiled sweetly and shook her head, I really don't know what comes into my mind when I propped my elbow over the table and neared my face against hers, I kept our eyes connected. I swear to God I could just pass out right now, the way her breath ghosting against mine, it's unexplainable… unfathomable… baffling I really don't care even I get to use every single word in the English dictionary this feeling has no word to describe.

I felt her took a deep breath before holding it there and slowly puffing it out, the scent of coffee in her mouth reaching my nose. My chest it's almost exploding, I don't really know what I am doing. I can still see those little diamonds running down her cheek pass her lips and there my mind went black when I finally closed the gap between us, my lips gently yet firmly pressed against hers. I literally feel the sharp intakes of airs from the both of us before the warmth of each other's mouth making it more impossible for me to think straight, the sweet and salty taste of her lips making my head even dizzier. I couldn't quite make it out on how long our lips moved smoothly.

No more flowers or wedding songs even the image of the church and my wedding dress it's fading like the anger inside me. The dampness between our cheeks emanating the warmth I have been yearning, all this time. I don't want this moment to end, I don't want to. All I know is that I felt home.

This is home.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you." She choked out when our lips parted, another tear came rolling down so I immediately brought the back of my hand wiping those tears away. I can still feel the remnants of her lips against mine, like it was just me and her.

"I know." I mumbled as I press my forehead against hers, I totally don't mind if we would get weird looks or something. She just let out another sigh and another tear came rushing down, I was fast to catch it by pressing my lips against her cheek, not knowing the same emotions my mind has been in, the warm prickle of tears made its way down my own making me sigh in relief. These tears are happiness, I know it. And now? I don't care about the fucking reason she left me, all I know is that finally I have her.

"I love you, Brittany. I never stopped."

I once again swallowed dryly. I slowly closed my eyes and muttered.

"I love you too, Santana." My words came out slow and sincere.

_I never stopped. _

_Never. _

_And I'll never will. _

_**2 years ago.**_

"Brittany!" Janica yelled and run towards Brittany who has been unloading their stuff out of Santana's car.

"Janica! Wow! You get so big." Brittany muttered happily as she engulfed the 17 year old girl in a hug. Well obviously she really got so big just few more inches then they'll have the same height. "And you look just like Santana." She added, her hands securely placed on the smaller brunette's frame before peppering Janica's cheeks with kisses causing the other girl to giggle.

"I'm hotter." Raspy voice chirped in followed by the loud clanking of the car's trunk. "Get off my girl anyways. And give me a hug." She added before pulling her sister off of Brittany's and engulfed the smaller Latina.

"No way, San. I'm way hotter. Right Britt?"

Brittany just shrugged before ruffling the brunette's hair. "Of course."

"See?" Janica muttered, her brows shooting up to her hairline. "I'm gonna go get mom." She added excitedly before spinning around and head towards the porch yelling some incoherent words about their arrival.

"You think she's hotter?" Santana asked when her sister was finally off her vision.

"Baaaaaabe." Brittany whined before embracing the Latina from behind giving her a light squeeze. "You're way way hotter." She whispered, her voice went out raspy and sexy.

"Really?" Santana asked before tugging Brittany's arms around her and spin around so that they're face to face.

Brittany nodded furiously bob her head up and down as her hands made small circles on the Latina's back. "Smoking."

Santana bit her lip before nearing her face against Brittany's ear and inhaled deeply. "You sure?" she rasped.

"Uhuh." Brittany nodded.

Santana let out a small giggle bubble from her throat before shortly puffing some air against Brittany's ear. "And now I'm hotter." She laughed.

"The hell San?" Brittany huffed her hand immediately flew over her ear.

"I love you too." Santana shortly answered before making her way inside the cabin.

**A/N: Are you guys still interested? So we'll have some happy times by the next chapter and a revelation by the next. Whose secret do you think will be revealed? I'm still thinking about it, so I might consider suggestions. Thank you for reading.**

**Leave a review please (: And sorry for the mistakes, I'm not the best writer. (I know.) I'm _still _in my beta reader search! :(**


	18. The Verge

**A/N: Here's a chapter for you guys. Sorry for the mistakes, English is not my first language (: **

**Enjoy :)**

"So you were saying Santana kissed her?"

"Nope. Brittany instigated it, Santana asked her if she'll be willing to forgive that woman and Brittany said she doesn't know and then they ended up making out in the freaking coffee shop. Like that screams 'I don't know'"

"So did she say she still loves her?"

"Yes. At least that's what she said they threw each other 'I love you's'."

"Woa! I thought she's mad at her?"

"Well obviously we're missing something out. Aside from the fact that it's not the only dumb thing she did that day."

"What do you mean?"

"She agreed to celebrate Christmas with Santana's family on the weekends."

"No way! I mean how would she even act around them? Did she already say the truth that she's just acting about the amnesia thingy?"

"I have no idea. I know that it's only a matter of time, and Brittany will be falling around Santana's arms, _again_. We should have a bet, T."

"You both know I'm sitting right here." I snapped my hands clasped together. "Seriously? You could've talked about me behind my back and I won't be that offended." I muttered seriously and averted my eyes back to my computer.

"See that, T?" I heard Quinn say and I just wanted to smack her on the forehead or something, she's been a bitch since I told her about what happen on Tuesday and I may have to lose it. This is way frustrating aside from the fact I'm way way confused on how I acted around Santana last time we saw each other.

"Q, what is your problem? I kissed Santana and we're almost back together, now what? Do you want me to just ditch her because I can't fucking move on about the fucking wedding? She's sorry and I know that it's real and she wanted to start all over again and guess what? I'm letting her, because I do love her. I do. I'm not going to go crazy about the fact that she made one mistake and forget every good thing she did, she cares for me. She loves me, and that's what important. I thought you were my best friend? Shouldn't you be the one telling me that it'll be alright and I should just follow my heart and we could just make it work? That someday it'll be okay? That one day Santana will be willing to tell me what exactly happened that day. Isn't that what you were supposed to be doing, Q? "

"And now you're asking. Brittany, can you even hear yourself? You sound like a 4 year old kid, whining about something that you can't get. Look, last two months you're crying your eyes out moaning and mewling about the fact that Santana left you in your wedding, for God sake Brittany in your own god damn wedding! And she just disappear for about a year and now she'll be back, asking if you could sing Christmas carols with her and eat ham and everything just in time the clock ticks, and without her sweating it, you just said yes. I thought you wanted to hurt her? I thought you wanted to get back to her? Huh? You're being immature, Brittany. And I'm your best friend I'm obligated to check everything you'd be doing and this- is not a good thing" She said her voice an octave higher.

"Yes, I wanted to hurt her, I wanted to. Aren't those things enough, Q? Now tell me, what's the best thing to do, huh? For me to just disappear? Should I be doing the same thing she did? And let's just say I'm being immature, and so? Santana… she makes me happy. She's the only person that makes me happy. She means everything to me." I chocked at my own words, I didn't even notice the familiar lump in my throat followed by the warm prickle of tears running down my cheeks. After what happened on the grocery shop two months ago it's the first I'd be admitting the fact that Santana indeed is making me happy and alive.

I saw that Quinn stood and slowly made her way towards my direction before she get on her knees where she held both of my hands running the pad of her thumb over my knuckles, she knows by that I'll automatically calm so I let out a shaky breath and buried my face against her neck my tears gushing down like a river as I got my chest tightening and she just mumbled some soothing words before she latched her arms around my shoulder her hands making small circles.

"I'm sorry." She whispered and I just nodded against her neck. "I know you still love her that's why I'm stopping you in the first place, I wanted you to move on, B. I wanted you to prove to everyone and especially to Santana that you don't deserve her, but obviously I'm wrong. Because in the first place she's making you happy, and she's the only person that'll make you that happy."

"I'm sorry, too." I managed to say when I finally faced her. "I'm sorry if I even dragged you in this."

"So what's your plan? Here I am asking about your plan." She joked before she dabbed my tears with the back of her hand.

"I'm telling her the truth."

"Is everything okay?" raspy voice rang all throughout the studio followed by the chiming of the door.

Quinn muttered a little 'hi' and she was fast to get up on her feet and tugged Tina out the studio. And my hand went autopilot wiping the tears away.

"Britt, are you crying?" she asked when she took frantic steps towards my direction, I just gave her tight lip smile when she held me by the shoulder and looked at me directly in the eyes, I almost drowned on her chocolate brown eyes as she tried to keep me talking.

"No, San. I just had something in my eye and Quinn was trying to blew it off." I lied.

She just took a deep breath and nodded in understanding before she fished something out of her blazer dabbing the piece of cotton by my cheeks. And I can't help just to watch her in awe as she made sure to wipe all those tears away. "Is it okay?" she asked just in time our eyes connected and my heart fluttering.

I just bit my lip and nodded, I can see her eyes wandering my face and stopped by my lips and back to my eyes. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to. I just want those lips against mine or something bad will happen, I wanted to bury my face against her neck and just snuggle there until everything went okay, I wanted to say it again. I wanted to say that I love her.

"You know that I love you, right? And whatever happened I wanted you to hold on to that." I choked my voice hoarse from all the crying.

"I know. And I love you too. And whatever you were saying, I don't care. Okay?" She said and unconsciously licked her lips before she leant and pecked me on the lips. "Let's go?"

"Where are we going?"

"They wanted to see you."

"But I thought we're leaving by the afternoon?" I asked. She just shrugged before grabbing my stuff by the rack and just tugged me towards the door.

"Does that make any difference if I'd be spending some time with my girlfriend?" she grinned as she held her free hand out. And I just shook my head in response intertwining our fingers before walking out the door. I'll just send Quinn a short text later.

* * *

"Do you think Janica will like this?" I asked as I raced the box in the air.

"If it wasn't the fact that you have amnesia and everything I will say that it's the same thing you've been asking just before we made our way to my family." She mumbled heartily.

"It is?" I asked tensely, do I sound that obvious?

"Yea. Isn't it funny, babe?"

I gulped dryly at the thought of Santana knowing everything- like everything.

"Sorry, I just missed calling you that."

"No, it's okay." I answered straightaway as I placed my luggage inside the trunk.

"Uh, Britt. About that, did they say about your memories coming back?"

Oh no. I clench my jaw as I try to contemplate what I'm going to say, do I have to say it right now?

"San." I started and she just hummed and dropped the gifts off of her hands. "Santana, I…"

"You know what, Brittany. I don't care about your past memories, important is that we all have the time in the world to create bunch of happy memories. And I'll make sure that it'll be better."

"But…" I was about to answer something when she just pulled me by the shirt our bodies barely touching before she pressed her lips against mine, and I just closed my eyes my hands letting go off whatever I was holding and I just rested it by her hips. I felt her smirk against my lips as she nibbles my lower lip.

"They're waiting." She breathed when our lips parted.

And I can't help to be excited and anxious at the same time.

They'll be meeting with the new Brittany, Brittany who can't remember any of them, any of their names and identity. I have to lie that their smiles resembles Santana's and their voices sound the same over the phone. I have to lie that I missed them.

This is going to be a long weekend.

I just heaved a sigh before I followed Santana's trance inside the car.

"Are you okay?" Santana asked as she held my hand. I didn't even try to intertwine our fingers for she'll know how badly my fingers were trembling.

"Yea, I'm just nervous." I managed to say.

"They'll like you, wait erase that, actually they already love you."

"They do?"

She just nodded with a toothy grin and returned her eyes back on the road. The drive was pretty silent aside from the few side comments we were having, she even asked me what happened with me and Quinn earlier and I can't say that we had a little argument about her so I told her that Quinn almost smacked with a chair, I really don't have a better explanation and I think she sort of bought it when she just nodded and smiled.

I was fast asleep when suddenly Santana's phone ringing blared, I stirred at the sudden disruption and she just mouthed a little 'sorry' before picking the connector and position it by her ear.

"Hey, mom."

I literally got my hand hanging in the air whilst I got the other rubbing my eye. My chest started pounding and my hands were practically sweating when I finally let my eyes wander the road, two more street and we'll be there.

I'll be meeting her family for the first time (at least that's what they know)

"Yea, we're almost there…. I know… she's excited too… and remember what I told you guys about her situation, right? Okay bye."

"About my situation?"

"Oh, sorry about that. I just told them that everything is new and everybody is a stranger. So they don't have to bother asking you about something."

"Sorry." I whispered.

"Britt, it's not your fault that you can't remember anything, actually it's for the best not that you hit your head and everything all I'm saying is that we could start all over again." She smiled.

I tried my best to return the smile even though my inside we're practically burning on how badly I wanted to spill everything. I wanted to tell her, everything has to be real in order for us to start all over again. I have to.

"Santana, what if one day I remember everything?"

I saw her swallow and her grip on the steering wheel tightened. "Well, maybe you'll hate me? And I don't think I could handle that. But if it's for the best then I don't have anything to do with that. It's not that I don't want your memories to come rushing back, of course I wanted you to remember everything, your childhood, your first pet, our first date and everything we had, it's just I don't want you to doubt everything that's happening right now."

"I won't. I mean I know I won't. It's just… you know what forget it. It's pretty impossible though."

She just gave me a tight lipped smile and by that she took a turn. Just in time the car came into a halt, its show time.

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. There are just a lot of things going on as of now, anyways I'll try to post another chapter by next week and for sure it'll be longer than this. Thank you. X0x.**

**Leave a review (:**


	19. The Breaking-Point

**A/N: Review please it motivates me (: And guess what? It's officially an M.**

**Enjoy. **

It's already pretty dark when we reached the setting for my performance when I finally get up on my feet the cold Christmas air immediately ghosting against my skin so I shoved my hand inside my pocket humming as the warmth made my blood flow normal, I already got Santana following behind me her free hand on the small my back as she whispered soothing words for me to relax, it's weird that it's obviously not that the first time I'll be meeting them, well a year ago, Santana and I are not about to get married and she hasn't ran out the aisle, she hasn't left me. A year ago I can remember them, right now they're all stranger to me. And things are way lot different.

The place was still the same, the snowman with a carrot as its nose standing by the pathway, and the colourful Christmas lights hanging on every corner of the house, the melodic sound of Christmas carols resonating in my ear bringing the light tingles of the reality and a small smile be tugged on my lips.

The creaking of the wooden floor is what makes my heart pounding beyond normal, it's almost going to explode, like in one more move I'll be picking my organs on the cold floor, and that's really weird. Santana has been whispering something since we reached the front porch and I just keep nodding and mumbling a little 'okay' every time she does even though I can't understand anything she was saying.

I can hear the continuous footsteps inside the house along with the fireworks explosion inside my chest I even held Santana's arm and clutch it like my depended on it and when it came into a halt just in time the door swung open, I'm an actress.

"Brittany!" the younger Latina greeted me, she got her hair in a messy bun and the little Christmas trees printed on her pyjamas and top complements her tanned skin, I'm actually pretty jealous on how their family managed to be this tan and it looks really good on them, oh right they're Latinas. I shook my head when her voice rang all throughout the place, she's leaping and hopping as she stare at me with wide eye and I know she just wanted to latch her arms around my neck just on how badly I wanted to say she got so big and she looks like Santana's twin. I wanted to kiss her on the cheek and show her Christmas present even though it's not yet Christmas, that's how Janica and I make it work, and we would get Santana or Emily whining on the corner that we're cheating and everything.

"Hey, midget." Santana's voice threw me back to certainty and I can't help but smile when she got her palms over Janica's face whilst the smaller girl tries to free from her arms. I can see that Santana whispered something and made Janica scurry to the opposite direction.

"So?"

"I love her already." I answered, she just pecked me on the cheek before tugging me inside the house and the loud thudding of the door before me made me jolt a little.

"I'll just call them, okay? Mom's probably on the backyard trying to mop the snow and dad's probably in the balcony drinking his coffee or tea. I don't know." She muttered before she spun around, when I thought she's already gone I let my eyes wander the living room. And I almost passed out when someone hugged me from the back followed by Santana's hot breath hitting the inside of my ear igniting those light explosions into something bigger, my stomach doing backflips I didn't even know existed. "I'll be back, kay? I love you." she whispered and by that I leant on her touch before parroting her last words like the way I mean it.

She gave me another peck on the cheek before she spun around and this time I'm pretty sure she went out the kitchen door. I took a deep breath before I let my shoulder's relax I can feel the breaking of sweat on my forehead before I finally took off my coat and carefully hung it by the door.

Everything looks the same even the light green wallpaper, the couch by the corner and the coffee table by the middle. My feet seemed to get heavy as I walked through the line of picture frames on the right most corner. My fingers wandering the glasses and I even let out a small giggle when Santana's baby picture caught my eye, I bet haven't seen this before. She got her hair in a ponytail whist she's holding a cotton candy and she looks like on the verge of crying.

"You both look so happy in there." A female voice chirped in, and I didn't notice that I have been staring on a picture of me and Santana it was a year ago just by the front yard where I got my lips firmly pressed against her cheeks whilst Santana's head is thrown back her pearl white teeth showing and her dimples creping.

"Yea, we do." I answered with that smile lingering along my lips before I spun around and met by the familiar smile and look.

"Emily." The woman started as she offered her hand, Emily is Santana's elder sister and they actually only has a year gap. I never get the chance to be that close to her though, compared to my relationship with Janica, Emily is somewhat aloof, I guess. She spending time with us, yes but at times she's spending it alone or over the phone and Santana was telling me that Emily is just natural like that.

"Brittany." I managed to say before I shook her hand and we exchanged smiles and 'how are yous'. If it wasn't the fact that I feel a light awkward around Emily I would say that she looks a lot like Santana too, it's just I don't really have the time to say that, she may say I'm weird or anything.

"We hated her, right after what happened." She mumbled right after a minute or two of silence. "But when she told us that you guys are getting along like before then we all made a decision that Santana's worth the second chance. I sound like you're my sister, right? I just want her to do the right thing."

I gulped at her words, I didn't know that they hated her like that.

"I did hate her too, the fact that she left me and I met an accident right after it's the worst thing. Even though I can't remember everything about that." I choked out. "But when she came in my life once again, I realized that she means the world to me, with my past memories or not."

"She loves you so much, Britt." She said and I just stare at her.

"I love her, too. More than anything actually." I whispered not noticing that I have been staring on the floor whilst my mouth has the goof smile playing along it.

"We know. We all know." She mumbled with a smile that resembles Santana's, like a lot.

"You smile like Santana." I said out of nowhere, do I sound awkward?

"That's what you also said when we first met."

I just smiled at her as I tapped my feet on the floor. Yes, it was awkward.

After a minute or so, Santana's mom and dad greeted me with their perky voices, and I gave them a hug worth a year. Questions here and there, I really don't kno acted that good for I really miss them and I just answer whatever they wanted to know. And the fact that they never brought up the wedding and my accident. They just told me on how they miss me and everything, even Anita got her arms around my shoulder as we made our way inside the kitchen, whilst I give Santana a sweet and knowing look.

After dinner Janica gave me an envelope and I promised her to open it not until the Christmas Eve, before she gave me a goodnight kiss and disappeared on one of the rooms her ponytail swinging side by side.

"So you guys will be good in here?" Anita questions when she checked on us for the third time.

And I just nodded before she wished us goodnight, promising that tomorrow's eve gonna be epic. Santana's room was also the same, the orange painting of the walls and black silky sheet of her bed. Pictures of hers back in high school and everything, small artworks she used to create back in the day and I ended up asking every single thing of it, I know that I already know everything but I just love the way her eyes would sparkle every time she would recall the sentimental value of every single piece.

"Like what you see?" she smirked when I found myself staring at her with her night gown that falls freely down her perfect body, the top showing enough amount of her cleavage and thanks for the small amount of light that shows the hem of her undies, sorry can you blame me for not ogling at Santana? I haven't got the chance to look at her this way for about a year and the tension is almost unbearable "What?" and I just ended up chuckling when she's wearing socks up to her knee. Way too good to kill the mood. "It's cold." She stated and I just laughed. "Screw this night gown, I was trying to look hot and everything but if it's freezing like this then I may have frostbite or something." She rambled when she finally fished her pyjamas and hoodie once again disappearing by the bathroom door and I just sigh before I get up on my feet and walked to my own suitcase.

"How do you manage to look so hot?" I heard her say followed by the banging of the bathroom door.

"What?" I asked as I fidget the hem of my shirt, she just shrugged and completely turning off the light aside from the nightstand on the other side before slumping down the bed and I ended up mirroring her actions. I hear her sigh of relief before she snuggled to my side, her arm draped over my stomach and her hand fisting the sides of my shirt. The coconut scent of her shampoo making my insides flare with contentment.

"I miss this." She croaked. "I miss you."

I just hummed against her hair before I placed my hand over hers making small circles with my thumb, she looked up to me with that look I can't quite figure out. "I'm so sor-_hmpf_." I silenced her by pressing my lips against hers, I felt her gasped so I placed a quick peck and rest my forehead against hers. "You already said that." I mumbled whilst I got my eyes closed.

"I just…"

"Just shut up and let me kiss you." I husked cutting her off.

It took a lot of willpower when I once again closed the gap and after few minutes I found myself hovering her, my knees straddling her hips, and the sharp intakes of air is somewhat hard to resist when she return on fisting the hem of my shirt pushing me closer to her. I can feel the warmth of her body emanating it's not like winter at all. And I literally whimper when I felt her tongue begging for entrance which I didn't refused by parting my lips welcoming the different warmth of her mouth. It's her time to smirk when I practically froze when she ran her the tip of her tongue along my lower lip leaving a wet trail. There's the pounding of my chest and if it wasn't the wet smacking sounds then she may already be hearing it.

"I love you." she choked out when our lips parted, her eyes seemed to be darker and hooded than normal.

Nobody makes me like this, nobody makes me tremble with want and need like Santana, she's the only person that makes me want to shut everything down and just let her do whatever she wants, she's the only person that'll make me crave for something which I know she can give. Nobody kisses me like she does, nobody holds me like she does, nobody makes me smile like she does and nobody makes me feel loved like she does.

"And I love you." I say before I again leant down this time I peppered her face with butterfly kisses down her neck, I love hearing the small gasps and whimpers her lips were releasing every time I sucked on the sensitive skin just below her ear, my teeth grazing against her earlobe creating louder and breathy moans from her. The way her body squirming beneath me it's something I have been wanting to feel since then, I missed the feeling of her chest rising and falling against mine and the more erratic her breathing gotten the more I'm getting the oomph to continue what I'm doing.

"Britt." She managed to call my name between gasps of air as she cocked her head to the side giving me more access to her caramel skin. And after few minutes I didn't know how or what happened when there's no more fabric is between us and her skin is so soft and warm against mine. And I don't bring myself to care on how our pile of clothes messily scattered on the carpeted floor.

I kissed her so gently that I almost forget the remaining ache between my legs not until my kisses wander down the crook of her neck and between her boobs, I can't help the sighs that leave my lungs every time she fists my locks pushing me closer. And by that I closed my lips on one of her sensitive bud sucking gently then a little harder letting my free hand wander up to her other breast palming and lightly kneading the soft flesh, her skin felt so warm under my fingertips just like in one more inch it'll burn but I can't get myself to stop my kisses to wander downwards until I reached the apex of her thighs.

"I love you so much, San." I sighed when I finally settled between her legs, the way her sighs and gasps reached my ear it's satisfying and pleasing on its own way. She began fisting my hair a little harder this time pushing me to where she needed me most but I won't go that fast when I ended up placing butterfly kisses on the insides of her thighs and by that she trembles and whine beneath me.

"Britt, please." She moans and began bucking her hips, I was fast to stop her hips from canting though and finally placing light yet firm kisses on her most intimate part gaining the most heavenly sighs from this woman above me.

I don't think I can still understand whatever she was saying as I continued my assault on her core, the way her lips forming an O-shape it's like a dream come true, her head lulled back and her eyes tight shut it's the perfect picture of my love for her. The passion and devotion I created as I made love to her is making me feel so amazing, for the fact that I'm doing it to her and she can feel the tightening pleasure that I have been making.

"Babe." She called as I sucked harder on her sensitive nub and I worked my fingers a little tad faster, breathy moans and short gasps of air filled the room along with my name being called. I never felt this satisfaction in my entire life, even for the last 4 years of our relationship I get to admit that this has to be the most passionate yet gratifying way of showing my feelings for her.

And one more thrust and few more flicks, her inner walls clenched and unclenched between my fingers and I can feel the throbbing of her clit against my tongue, I got Santana's thighs trembling and shaking around my head as I try to cope up with the euphoric moment she has been feeling, the loud moans and whines she's releasing is like an awaited song for my ear and straight to my heart for I got myself smiling on the inside when her legs became taut and her whole body went rigid followed by my name being screamed on the most substantial way.

And when I finally heard the last gasps of pleasure I made sure to keep her safe by crawling up to her body and taking her for a warm hug and one last peck on the top of her head.

"I love you, so much." she whispered before we dozed off to sleep with that smile on our lips.

* * *

My eyes were greeted by the light seeping through the window followed by orange painting of the walls and dark locks sprawled on my pillow. An automatic smile was tugged on my lips as I blinked for the billionth time, is this even real?

I got Santana's bare body and is heavy sleeping beside me, her chest heaving and her hand fisting the sheets, her hot intakes of air hitting the side of my face and her brows knitting as she stirred in her sleep. I slowly propped my elbow to get a better view of her face, her perfect nose and her pouty lips it's pretty sad that she got her eyes closed though, it's her eyes and smile that makes my inside flutter and weak. Actually everything about her makes me weak yet perfect at the same time.

I don't know on how we managed to get in the same bed whereas a few months ago I asked her to take 28 stairs and I just left her sleeping in that building, alone. I don't know how bad I got that I ended up making those things. And I hate myself for that.

"It's really rude to stare at someone who's sleeping." She croaked she still got her eyes closed and her lips forming a smirk.

"I am not." I mumbled before I slumped back to bed and pulled the blanket up to my chin.

Santana just scoffed before shuffling on her side snuggling on my side. "How do you know?" I asked before I placed my hand by the small of her back, why does her skin felt so warm and smooth?

"I can feel your heartbeat. And your breathing- it's erratic." She simply stated.

I knit my brows together before I ducked down and pecked her on the lips, I don't know I find her lips so smooth and soft right after she woke up and before- it's the first I'm doing every time my eyes would open. "I'm not that close to you."

"I know, but I can feel it against mine. And even though how far you would go, I could still feel it no matter what."

"That's weird."

"It's not weird, it's just because I'm super in love with you."

I smiled at her words and just stare at her and my brows knitted when something caught my eye. "San, what's that?" it's an inch or two scar by her chest just right above the valley of her boobs. I don't think I have seen that before.

"Nothing." She mumbled tensely. And she just pecked me on the lips, and I know by that means it's either stop talking or I don't want to answer that question. So I just closed my eyes and kissed her back. I don't really know for how long we did stare and kiss each other when the growling of my stomach filled the silence we fell in.

"Ugh, I'm hungry." I grumbled.

"You're still hungry? I mean right after last night?" she asked her lips tugging to form a malicious smirk. At first I would say that she's not making any sense but then the realisation hit me and I just laughed before swatting her playfully on the arm before I made my way inside the bathroom, butt naked.

"Nice ass, Pierce!"

"Try and get it, Lopez." I barked and followed by her loud squealing trailing my trance inside the bathroom.

* * *

"Good morning, girls." Miguel greeted as he peeked through his newspaper a sweet smile plastered on his face.

"Morning." Santana and I mumbled in unison before she walked around the table pecking his dad on the cheek. Janica was already sitting on one of the stool as she walked over me and pecked me on the cheek greeting me a good morning before she sank down on her seat.

"So did you sleep alright?" Anita piped in out of nowhere platter of pancakes on both of her hands followed by Emily where she's holding stacks of plates and forks.

"It's awesome." I cheered and intertwine my fingers with Santana's.

"So Brittany-" I gulped when Miguel's strong yet gentle voice reached my ear. "-how are you after the accident?"

I tensed at his words, I can even feel Santana's gripped on my fingers tightened, and the way my heart is pounding it's not the way I'm expecting it.

"Papi we talked about this-" Santana chirped in, her voice was somewhat nervous for the croaking of her last tone.

"No, it's okay." I managed to say and I gave her a tight lipped smile before I faced his father.

"It was horrifying with all the blood and everything, but when I asked them why did I met that accident and they finally told me that I was left in the altar and the worst part is that I can't remember any single thing of that even Santana I don't know her- it was harder than I thought and it breaks me into pieces, at first I really don't know how to start, on how I would make myself adjust to everything. Then once again, our fate crossed at first I thought she's just a friend and then Quinn told me that she was indeed the person who caused every single pain I have been feeling, I'm mad and… furious about it, I wanted to hurt and just let her feel what she did to me. But how can I even do that if the person who broke me is also the person that'll fix me. And right now, I feel perfect, just like that." I can feel everybody's eyes on me as they listen to every word I've been saying, even Santana got her eyes plastered on the corner of my face her grip on my hand tightened.

"And I realised that my memories may flew away but the feeling I have been feeling for your daughter is real and will never go away." I added, by that Miguel just smiled and gave my free hand that has been resting over the table a squeeze.

"I'm hungry." Janica whined all of a sudden gaining fits of giggles from the rest of us.

"Pancakes." Emily awkwardly cheered before digging in followed by tanned hands flying over the saucer.

"Thank you." Santana whispered against my ear, I just smiled at her and leant for a quick kiss.

"I'm really glad that you and Santana made up. I almost killed San when we learnt that she left you." Janica mumbled with mouthful of pancakes.

* * *

It was barely 1 o'clock in the morning and we're still up, after the gift giving an hour ago, Santana just pulled me up here in the attic as we stare at the sky, its freezing, yes! But Santana made sure that we have piles of blankets so we could cuddle in.

"You could've just given me your Christmas present with them watching. And I could've given you mine."

Santana just scoffed before giving me a sweet smile and she shuffle on her side gaining my confuse look.

"Where are you going?" I asked when she get up on her feet and she was fast to move to the far most corner of the room. "San..."

"You've been cheesy this morning and I thought to myself that it's my turn." She said over her shoulder.

"I'm not cheesy, I'm just being honest." I retorted she just gave me a just shut up look when she finally sat beside me.

"Oh well, I might as well be honest." She giggled. "Open it." She mumbled when she finally fished something out of her pocket. It's a rectangle box with a ribbon tied up over it, she took a deep breath before she finally raised it in front of me.

"What's this?"

"It's a gift from me, aren't you supposed to be opening it and not asking me what's inside of it?"

I just rolled my eyes and when I was finally about to take off the lid she snatched it off of my hands. "What the hell? I thought it's mine?" I pouted.

"Of course baby, it's yours. I just thought you maybe should give me my present first."

"Oh." I pouted but then I realized that I'll be giving her a gift then this will be exciting. "Okay. Wait." I said excitedly before I shoved my hand inside my pocket where her present has been lying.

"Here." I said shyly.

I watched her as she got her lower lip between her teeth and wiggling her brows playfully. I got my brows shooting up to my hairline as I watched her rip off the wrapper.

"I hope you would like it."

"Brittany." She sighs her eyes plastered on the heart shaped charm inside the box, it got our initials embossed on the middle. "This is perfect. Thank you."

"Well, I thought maybe you could always remember me with this charm hanging on your bracelet." I said when I finally took the box off of her hands and pluck out the white gold bling. "Just like my heart hanging on yours. Does that make any sense?" I said and she just nodded.

"Here, let me put it on you." I mumbled when I held her hand and positioned the charm by the middle. And I just smiled when I raised her hand the charms clinking to each other. "It's perfect." She repeated maintaining an eye contact. "I love you so much, Britt. Thank you." she says heartily.

"My turn." She husked and I just nodded when she once again fished the box. "Open it."

I got my fingers trembling as I held the box, it's weird that I'm not nervous a while ago and right now I can feel my cheeks heating up and my insides flaring. I threw Santana once last look and she just tip her head her eyes sparkling in the dark moonlight.

I don't think if what word would I say just right after I completely took off the lid. "Wow." I chocked and my eyes watering at the sight of the necklace hanging perpendicularly inside the box, a heart shaped pendant with my name on it, and with quivering fingers I held the pendant, twisting it and it just made my heart flutter for it got Santana's name on the back.

"San." I croaked.

"So did you like it?"

I just stare at her before I finally lunged at her "It's amazing. Thank you." I whispered on the crook of her neck.

"Let me put it on you." she says and by that I let go off the box and she held the jewellery up to my neck humming in approval right after she's done. And me? I can't help the tears from falling, I can feel the warm tears gushing down my cheeks as she stare at me her piercing glare.

"If you forget everything, l will pop up out of nowhere. We'll start afresh every day. I'll be your memory. And I'll be your heart. Okay? So don't bother thinking of the past, let's just focus on what we could do on the future, together."

I sniffed and I just smiled at her, I don't think if I'm crying about the fact that Santana's with me and she gave this beautiful gift or the fact that she's believing the lie that I have amnesia. I don't know, everything seemed to be a lot blurry as I stare at her; all I know is that "I love you, San."

**A/N: And will it bother if I'll keep using Britt's POV? I mean I've been using the second person since chapter 1. Anyways, let me know. **

**How about I answer your questions (: I'll be waiting ASK ,fm****/itsnayamarieriverabitch/**

**REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW (I know I'm weird) **


	20. The Secret

**Enjoy. **

"So?"

"So?"

"Are you sure you wanted me to do this?"

"Yea." I stated nervously whilst I got balled sheets between my fingers.

"I'm nervous."

"Me too, but you're much better in doing stuff like this, I mean you used to do things like this."

"I know, but this is sort of a different thing."

"C'mon, Q. You've been helping me before. So please. Just help me pick up a dress or jeans or whatever I'm going to wear tomorrow night, please. I'm begging you, I'll buy Rach a new bling?"

"Britt, its new year's eve you're supposed to be wearing a dress and not a pair of jeans and a simple t-shirt and aside from the fact that this will be your first date with Satan after the incident." She stated as she paced inside my room and I just threw her a glare. "Sorry, okay? Can't help myself."

"For your information, Q. It's not our first date. We've been having… cup of coffee from time to time, this is just what she calls something formal. I guess?"

"Whatever you say, Britt. All I'm saying is that don't you think she has the right to know about this?"

"About me being nervous with what I'll be wearing in our formal date? God, Q no! She'll think I'm creepy and stuff like that and everything. Then she might freak or som-"

"Your amnesia."

I froze at her words my mind seemed to be a little off with that question, I have been thinking about that for a week now, since we reached home a week ago, there's a bunch of time that I tried telling San about it, but every time to do so, she'll just kiss me or she'll push me on the bed and I'll completely forget about me confessing about it. And there is this one time when all of a sudden she shoved a croissant into my mouth muffling everything I was trying to say. And yes, since that I never tried to tell her. I really don't think she does know about it though, for I'm pretty sure she's pretty unaware about it, and that's what scares me the most.

"I haven't thought about it, but that's the plan. I'm going to tell her just before we make something deeper."

"Tell me about it, you have had sex already, B. What's the deeper point, huh?"

"Seriously Q? I don't think I told you about that."

"Wow, you spent like 3 nights there and what are you expecting me to think you guys were doing? Counting each other's hair? Counting each other's pores cause that may take a while, Britt. Or watch each other sleep and breathe snowflakes? Or Miley's performance on VMA's? I'm not that dumb, B."

I just scoffed followed by a sly smirk curling along my lips.

"Forget that, you're getting flushed and I really don't know what's running on that pretty head of yours. You're still not answering my question." She said whilst she got her arms crossed over her chest, her hazel green eyes burning holes onto my head as I try to contemplate my words.

"We did talk about Miley's performance though." I countered and it's her time to glare at me her brows quirked, I just heaved a sigh and averted my eyes on my fingers fidgeting the sheets. "I don't know, marriage?" I admitted lowly. I'm still in the REM of us getting married and having a family of our own, that's for one. Even after what happened I'm still expecting that it'll be Santana and nothing but her that I could spend my whole life with.

She just watches me and finally letting a huff and said "Fine, let's find you something cute to wear." She grumbled before smiling anyways and disappeared inside my walk in closet.

"I love you, Q." I cheered and followed her trance, groaning when my eyes finally landed on how did she get this mess for like what? 2 seconds? "I'm getting that back." I groaned and started collecting my clothes on the carpeted floor.

* * *

"So have you told Santana just yet?" Rachel asked she still had her glass up by her lips, looking at me over the rim.

"I haven't" I shrugged. I wanted to just hide under the couch or just call for Quinn and let her shut her girlfriend's mouth. My brain is a lot frazzled about this topic.

"Well, maybe you just need some time to think over it, I mean you have to tell her. It's not that I'm pushing you to tell her right now that you have been lying all this time but just let the time goes by until you got the courage to tell her the truth."

I just took a deep breath as my brain processed everything what Rach said. She was right though, I don't really have to pressurize myself from all this things, I know that Santana loves me and she promised me that whatever happens she doesn't care. But all this time I know Santana she may have said those words but in time she's in the actual situation she would usually walk out and let herself think about it all over again, that's what scares me, what if she doubts about her feelings for me? What if she left me once again? I don't think I will ever take that.

"What if she got mad at me?" I asked, my eyes plastered on my lap.

I can feel Rachel shuffling beside me before she heaved a sigh and completely faced me. "She may go Lima Heights on you, that's for one. But she loves you Britt, just like you she'll need an explanation. It's not that I'm saying right after you told Santana that you're lying about everything and after 2 or 3 sentences of explanation you'll get back together, it's just well maybe she'll be needing a time for herself to think. Until she would realise that you did those stuff because you just needed to and the most important thing is that you both love each other."

I bit my lip as I listen to every words Rachel was saying, I don't think that what she said will be the exact same thing that'll happen but at least there's the fact that'll strengthen everything, it's our love for each other.

"I'll call Quinn." I said as I offered the brunette a sweet smile and completely get on my feet walking towards her girlfriend's bedroom.

I can't help but cock my head on the side my lips pierced together in a tight lipped smile as I watched Rach and Quinn going all lovey dovey as they made their way out the door grabbing their own coats helping each other wear it.

"Why do you guys have to be so cute?" I whined from the couch my hands clasped together by my chest, I didn't even get myself to care if the show I have been watching is still on, I'm so lost on my best friends' world.

They just rolled their eyes in unison and gave me a grin. "So you'll be alone." Quinn started as she started fidgeting the door knob, Rachel in tow with both smiles on their faces.

"I am not." I defended. "I called Santana, she'll be here in a few."

The couple just exchanged mischievous smirks before saying their short bye's disappearing on the wooden door followed by the loud thudding after it. Right after I heard the doorknob's clicking my hand went autopilot reaching for my phone by the coffee table, typing Santana's phone number and excitedly placed it on my ear.

"Hey Babe." I cheered when she finally answered the phone on the third ring. "Are you okay?" I asked confusedly. Her voice seems okay but she sounded like in a hurry or something, I don't know. After a second or two I heard a loud banging, and I bet she got in her car for it was followed by the roaring of the ignition.

"_Ugh, sorry, what was that babe?" _

"Are you okay, San?" I repeated my previous question as I listen intently on the other sounds on the other line.

"_Of course, I'm fine. I'm actually on my way."_

"Really? Quinn and Rach just left. We have the place on our own, if you know what I mean." I smirked on the phone, my fingers twirling on my blonde locks.

I can once again hear the shuffling on the other end followed by her hissing something like 'drive faster' and I can't help but grin. _"3 more streets babe_." She pants.

"I'm running out of patience." I teased with the little hoarseness of my voice.

"_Ugh_." She groaned. I let out a loud cackle when she shouted on someone saying 'Can you drive a little slower? I think you're on the moon!'

"Hey relax." I laughed and she just sighed.

"_Can't wait to see you, I miss you already_." She said and I just smiled and nodded well I'm pretty sure it's pretty useless for were on the phone.

"Me too. Drive carefully okay? See you." I sighed. "And San, can you pick some ice cream on your way here. Please. I love you." I pleaded, the teasing immediately forgotten.

She mumbled a small okay before I disconnected the call literally throwing my phone somewhere on the couch before I get up on my feet and made my way to the kitchen. I just sighed when the fridge was pretty empty aside from the bottled water, milk and apple by the corner, since when did we have grocery, again? "Seriously Quinn?" I just groaned when my eyes landed on some left overs last night.

I watched the tupperware of lasagna spinning inside the microwave for like forever and I just clicked my tongue when the chiming sound finally reached my ear. So I made my way on the counter preparing the food dividing it into two, I was pretty having a battle myself if I should divide it into equal parts, this is my favourite. But I ended up dividing into two anyways, I love Santana more though.

I can't help but grin when I heard the door swung open followed by the thudding after it. Next thing I know is that Santana's arms were around my waist with our lips moving swiftly against each other, moaning at the sudden contact. Her hands groping my sides as I guided her lips against mine.

"San." I croaked when she began attacking my neck, automatically sucking on my pulse point which made me more impossible to talk and just push her closer to my body.

"It's chocolate." She groaned against my neck and I just furrowed my brows, chocolate? "And Chinese."

"What?" I managed to ask, which comes out like a moan. "San."

By that she finally lifts her head and faced me before pecking one last time on the lips.

"Lasagna? Yum. I'm hungry." She said, and I just watched her confusedly whilst I try to catch my breath. How does she do that? After attacking me with hungry kisses she'll just do that? Unfair!

"Um, San? Where the hell did that came from?" I pant as I took the seat in front of her watching her rummage the paper bag on the corner.

"What?" She asked not even caring to look at me. "I bought Chinese, I thought you'd like it." She added before spinning around and grabbing couple of plates and preparing the cartons of rice and sushi.

"I'm gonna put this on the fridge, kay?" she said motioning for the tub of ice cream.

"That's chocolate."

She just nodded and I just smirked shaking my head in the process.

"Since when did you guys go shopping?" she asked her eyes fixated on out empty fridge.

"Trust me I was telling Quinn, but she just refused me everytime I do so, she has a point though, were pretty busy."

"And eating Chinese or pizzas every night works?" she quirked her brow and I just shrugged. She just gave an unimpressed look before taking the seat opposite mine and stuffed a piece of sushi inside her mouth.

We completely ate in silence before something caught her eye and she just watched me intently.

"What?" I asked between chews of rice.

She just shook her head and returned her attention back to her food, after a minute or so she once again stare at me with the same look written all over face, like she's reading me or something.

"Seriously San, what?"

She just smirked before shaking her head once again, now this time I swallowed my food completely and it's my turn to just stare at her with the same look she used against me.

"What?" she asked before taking a gulp of her bottled water.

I just shook my head and averted my eyes back to my food, and I can see her on the corner of my eyes that she did the same and I just smirked and watched her once again.

"Seriously Britt, what?" she whined.

I just stare at her though as my heart started racing and my fingers practically white around the chopsticks my mouth slacking, Santana just gave me a confused look so I just gulped dryly.

"San, who's that little girl?" I just stuttered my voice intentionally quivering before I raced my hand and pointed on the empty space beside Santana.

I almost burst out laughing when I saw the horror written all over her face but I was fast to compose myself and I just continued staring beside her. I can see the rapid heaving of her chest as the chopsticks freely fell and met the cold floor, her eyes widening and her body turned stiff before me. I can see the shaking of her hand before she slowly twisted her upper body to look over her shoulder which she saw nothing and there I lose it, my cackles echoing inside the kitchen.

"I hate you." she grumbled before walking around the counter to reach me and I can't help the loud cackle tumbling out of my mouth as I pictured the horror on her face.

"You just didn't do that." She growled with the hint of laughter as she made her way towards my direction slowly, her lips quivering for she tried to stifle her laughter, her brows creasing as she tried to glare at me and her both hands securely placed on her hips.

"Not so badass, babe." I laughed and she just hum as a response continuing her trance towards my direction.

"I'm just messing with you, babe." I said as I try to stifle my giggle. But Santana made no recognition of my plead as she started poking my sides and my laughter bounced from wall to wall as I try to free from her grip.

"Please Babe, no." I laughed as I tried to swat her hands away.

"It's not working. You scared me to death." She laughed before poking on my weakest point. I don't even think I can think straight, my eyes watering from all the laughter.

"Ouch." I cringe before my hand flew by my side and Santana immediately stopped tickling me and just watched me intently her hands latching around my shoulder.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, did I hurt you?" she asked, her brows furrowing as her eyes watched me thoughtfully.

"No, but I get you to stop." I grinned before running inside the living room and plopping down the couch which after a second I already got Santana stumbling down after me, her hands flying by my sides as she continued her assault.

"You are going to pay for that." She half laughed half groaned straddling my hips her hands still on either side of my ribs.

I was laughing so hard that I didn't notice that Santana was back to staring at me with her chocolate brown eyes boring holes onto my head.

"I have a surprise for you tonight." She mumbled seriously, still straddling my waist.

"Okay." I said happily before propping my elbows so that I can reach her and placed a chaste kiss against her lips. "Are you sure you're okay?" I asked more serious this time watching her eyes alternating down my lips and back to my eyes.

"Of course, it's just I'm so happy that you're with me. It's all surreal for me."

I just smiled at her words and nodded. "I don't think I could describe what I'm feeling right now." I retorted. "I'm just so happy." I smiled and by that she once again pushed onto the couch connecting our lips for a deep yet passionate kiss.

"I love you." she breathed between kisses.

"Don't ever leave me again, okay?" I asked sincerely my eyes fluttering as I tried to connect our eyes, and she just kissed me as deep as before reassuring me from within.

* * *

"So I'll see you tonight. I'll pick you up at 10. Okay?" she grinned making her way towards the door.

After round three we decided to eat the tub of ice cream she bought and we ended up watching a movie cuddling on the couch for seem like forever and I really don't mind staying in that position. She even almost tackled me when I told her that we should watch The Conjuring and I ended up laughing so hard when she just hid under the couch when the creepy doll appeared like within 5 minutes of the movie, just right after that scene I was so confused where did Santana went and guess where I found her? She's under the table with her face buried on her hands as her tears came gushing down her cheeks. I found myself laughing instead of helping her up so I just walked towards the plasma TV to turn off the movie and by that she came rushing to my side burying her head on the crook my neck. Thank god for her phone that rang all throughout the living room, I really don't know who's on the other line but she said she has to leave and I can't help but agree.

"Yea." I nodded. "What should I wear?" I asked skeptically. I mean I almost killed Quinn for almost throwing every pair of clothes she saw inside my closet and we ended up with this blue dress that fits flawlessly, the dress molded my torso beautifully, complimenting my feminine shape. The gown draped past my toes, slightly drifting from my legs.

Santana tilts her head to the side, and looks up at the ceiling scrunching her mouth up as if she were debating an answer to the question. "Do you still have your green hoodie? And black skinny jeans?"

"I think saw one of those. Deep in my closet." And I just nodded, honestly I'm sort of confused as to why Santana asking me to wear those, they're sort of old. But if she wanted to then, okay. And yea, all of our efforts looking for the perfect dress are pretty useless. Great!

"Wear them, okay? And curl your hair. Love you." She added before pecking me on the lips and disappearing on the wooden door.

"Love you." I just whispered my brows still knitted together as I wonder why would she want me to wear those old stuff, anyways I still have few hours to look for those.

"Britt?" Quinn voice pierced through the air followed by the clanking of her boots against the cold floor, and I just gave her a smile before returning my attention back to the television my arms crossed over my chest.

"What are you wearing?" she just about whispers as she stare me with those big hazel eyes like I just grew three heads or something.

I just shrugged a scowl written all over my face. "She said I should wear this." I nearly growled before taking a glance on the digital clock displaying 9:45.

"I didn't know Santana was into old clothes or something. Fetishes!" she giggled as she took off her boots and slumping down next to me.

"Funny!" I mumbled sarcastically throwing her a glare.

"So basically nothing goes as planned except from your hair." She stated, I blankly brought my fingers by my head and I just groaned that yes that curlers were still tangled on the ends. "Just help me will you?"

We were on the last touch of make up when the door swung open, causing the two of us to literally jolt at the sudden disruption.

"Britt." Raspy voice called, and I can't help my lips to form a grin and the little butterflies inside my stomach to do exhibitions I didn't know existed.

"I'll be out on a minute." I yelled back before pushing Quinn out the door. "Just talk to her or something."

"What would I even say to her?"

"I don't know, ask her if it's cold outside or something, just create a topic." I said as I paced inside my room staring at my reflection. It's not that bad.

"Of course it's cold. I'll just stay here." She whines her feet stumping on the carpeted floor.

"Um.. ask her about the evolution of man or something, c'mon Q. Please just be nice." I pleaded.

"Ugh. Fine!" she huffed before walking out the door closing it after her.

After few minutes I slowly made my out the living room, I can hear small whispers from Quinn and Santana and I can't help but smile for they were not eating each other's head out. That's a progress.

"She doesn't know." I heard Quinn say, I was about to lean on the wall when they heard my footsteps causing them to both go stiff on their seat and started throwing each glares.

"Okay, enough of that. Spare my girlfriend with the fierce Quinn, okay?" I giggled before walking towards Santana and gave her a peck on the cheek. She's wearing a black jacket, a turtle neck sweater inside and denim short plus her boots. I think I saw her wearing these, I just can't quite remember when.

"We're just getting on." Santana whined beside me and I just tugged her to get up on her feet as she continued staring at Quinn.

"You have a surprise for me, remember?" I whispered against her ear. And within second like it just clicked she latched her arms around my neck peppering my face with butterfly kisses.

"Please! I'm still here, remember? I'm not up for that show." Quinn grimaced on the corner, and Santana just scoffed before tugging me towards the door. I mumbled a short bye to Quinn before we finally went out the door, Santana's hands securely wrapped around my waist.

* * *

The ride was pretty silent as Santana continued glancing on the digital clock by the console.

"Do you have something you have to be on right now?" I asked lowly.

"What? No!" Santana answered quickly making me nod my head in understanding. "I'm just nervous is all, I really don't know if you would like it or not." She admitted.

I snapped my head on her direction and placed my hand over hers on the steering wheel. "Hey, whatever that surprise could ever be, I'll love it." I assured her and she just returned the smile returning her eyes back on the road.

Few more minutes and the car came into a halt. And I knit my brows together when my eyes finally analysed where we are.

"What are we doing here?" I asked a little tensed.

"It's a secret as of now." She smiled before nearing her face against me and pecked me on the lips before she sank back to her seat completely unlatching her seatbelt, I mirrored her actions with trembling fingers, I can almost hear the pounding of my chest inside my ear, like it was about to explode within seconds.

"San." I whispered and she just bob her head before stepping out the car which I did the same. The New year's cold air slapped my face and I can't help but wince when Santana got near me.

"San." I pleaded when she took my hand between hers.

"Don't be scared." She assured offering me a sweet smile and I can't help but calm a little.

"What are we doing here?" I asked my voice cracking.

She just stared at me before pulling her free hand from her back, revealing a pink camera that resembles Katie. I just got my eyes plastered on her face before she slung the strap onto my neck grinning in the process.

"I want you to remember how we met." She stated shortly before guiding me towards the railings. I don't know what's happening everything seemed to be a lot blurry, blurrier than before.

When we finally made our way to the railing Santana let go off my hand before letting me engulfed by the complete darkness, I really don't know for how long I have been holding my breath but when I did let go of it, streaks of lights filled the whole place, the water from below mirroring the different colours from above. I don't think I have heard the loudest explosion when I heard Santana's voice narrating every single thing that happened that night.

Now once again everything made sense why we were here on the bridge, I'm wearing this green hoodie and black skinny jeans the night I met her, she was wearing those clothes when she suddenly appeared out of nowhere pulling me down the cold metal.

"Then you started taking pictures." I heard her say, with quivering fingers I followed her words until I got the pinhole by my eyes waiting for the final explosion and tapping the capture button.

"And then I saw you, so I came rushing down my car pulling you by the waist and we stumbled down the road." She related before she did the exact same thing pulling me by the waist and we ended meet the cold cement, I should be shocked at her sudden actions but I'm just wearing a confused look I'm just staring at her before we finally get up on our feet and I realised that my hands were empty followed by the splashing of water beneath us.

"Then you yelled at me saying 'Look what you just did' and you started whining Katie." She related she even imitated my voice which I didn't let affect me.

Without second thought I walked over by the railings and watched the ripples of water go bigger in every second that has past indicating that the camera was completely gone.

"Then I pulled you again." She laughed and she indeed pulled me by the wrist dragging me into the middle of the road.

"Then you said 'Who do you think you are? Huh? To just appear out of nowhere and pull anybody down' and I was like 'I'm just doing what a normal person would do, I just saw you like a mad person standing by the railings so, as a _normal person_ I'm going to pull you down. Now you're mad? Wow! You're welcome.' Because it was indeed unusual." She stated as she walked towards me.

"Then?" I choked out. I can feel the familiar lump in my throat and the incoming tears stinging my eyes as I stare at Santana who's watching me lovingly.

"Well, you ended up saying 'What makes you think I'm going to jump? Huh?' and I wanted to snap on you, I promise. So I said 'Oh wow. Sorry because it's not every day that I am seeing crazy persons standing by the railings in the middle of the night.' Britt, you were raging at first I thought because I disrupted you or something but when you told me that you're just taking pictures, my heart softens. By that I know you're special, you're gonna be special to me."

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tried to recall what happened that night.

"Then you told me it was Katie, I literally thought it was your sister and I'm so guilty. Trust me, all I wanted to do that night is jump and save her or something but when you said…"

"But when I said it was my camera, you froze. It may have sound stupid, I know. And I even accused you of killing her so you suggested that you'll just get me a new one and when you asked me what kind of camera Katie was I walked away, and you just watched me. Right after tomorrow you appeared out of nowhere inside the studio along with the different types of camera. Then again you asked me if what brand of camera Katie was and I said Canon you just sighed saying that you somehow bought something named like that then you introduced yourself and I did the same." I related each every single detail I can remember, Santana just watched me in awe her eyes glowing under the street lights. My hands flying by my cheeks as I wiped the tears that already escaped along with the pounding of my chest. I don't know why I just said that.

"Y-you c-can finally remember ev-everything?" she stuttered a triumphant smile written all over her face.

I just stare at her, I got my lower lip quivering so I ended up biting it, it almost draw blood but I can't bring myself to care. Santana got her eyes fixated on my blue eyes as she encouraged me to talk back.

"I never forget you San." I choked. "I forgot nothing, Santana."

Confusion was written all over Santana's face when I finally said those words. Her eyes alternating between my eyes and lips and I can see that she wanted to say something back but nothing comes out. "Wh-What?" she asked completely baffled. "You said you can't remember me, you have amnesia, Brittany." She added her hands flying by the corner of her temple as she froze in front of me.

"I do remember you San, since from the wedding up to now. I never forget you. I never did. As much as I wanted to get you out of my mind the more you just sink in and made me fall in love with you. I've been trying to tell you before we went to your family but every time I tried to do so there is something stopping me."

She just shook her head and closed her eyes.

"I love you, San. I'm so sorry." I pleaded as I took a step towards her, she just swatted my hand away when I tried to hold her forearm before she took a single step backwards. "San. I didn't mean to."

"You lied to me? All of it?" she breathed when she finally connected our eyes, disappointment was raining under her gaze.

"San." I just whispered the tears freely rolling down my face.

"Happy new year!" is the next thing I heard followed sudden sound of explosion and different color of lights appeared and scattered in the sky. And each every one of our friends appeared out nowhere approaching us. When I finally returned my eyes back to Santana, I wanted to die. She's just staring at me, those little diamonds falling down her face sparkling under the streaks of different color of lights. Her lips slightly ajar like she wanted to tell me something and her forehead creasing because of the confusion she has been feeling. I wanted to put my shoulders around her, I do. I wanted to say sorry until she forgives me, I'll do anything.

"San, please." I said and I know it was pretty useless for the whole place was swallowed by the loud explosions.

I wanted to take everything I said, I wanted to take every single word my lips released. I really don't know if what does make me feel dizzy right now. If it's the fact that Santana is just staring with a blank expression? Or it's because I just admitted it? I don't know. I wanted that with just one blink everything will be okay, everything will go on its own way. For now? The reality hit me hard, harder than I ever thought… I can feel my mouth opening and chanting the word sorry relentlessly but everything seemed to be mute for me and nothing but Santana's breathing echoing inside my ear. And everything went slow motion as I watch her tears falling from her chocolate brown eyes. I know there's the love under her gaze but the disappointment on Santana's face is all I can see. All the lies that I have said, all the lies that I have created in my little world of anger, it's all coming back to me now. And I don't think I could handle it. My heart is pounding inside my ear along with my endless short intakes of air as I watch her staring at me.

This time I held my breath when she took another step towards me, until there's no more space between us, her hot intakes of air hitting my upper lip and cheeks and our eyes never left each other. There's neither anger nor resentment written all over her face she's just watching me like she wanted to cry her eyes ball out any second. She clenched her jaw and bit her lip before spinning around and walked away.

"Santana." I called and I internally screamed at the sudden loss of contact. "San." I pleaded as I watched her completely engulfed by the dark until she was finally out of my sight and the roaring of her car echoing in my ear. "San." I wanted to follow her but Rachel's words hit me. Santana needed to be alone, there's no other person she needed as of now but herself.

**A/N: Woa! What just happened? Anyways ****let me know what you guys think as always! I haven't been getting as many reviews the last couple of chapters so are you guys just being lazy, or do you not like it anymore? Let me know please, and I'll fix something or take suggestions! **


	21. The Aloofness

**A/N: So thank you for your feedbacks! I know it's late but… yea actually I don't have any reason for that. Hahaha. I may have to blame my paper works and all! **

**Angelica**: Really? Wow! I mean thank you for reading, aside from the fact that it's a quite trouble for you to translate it and all, and thank you for reviewing.

**EV87**: You got it bb. Thank you for reviewing.

**ErrMerrGerrd:** We're getting there, don't worry. Thanks for reviewing.

**Anajael:** Sorry for the late update, but here you go. Hope you would like it. Thanks for reviewing.  
**snixx-tana**: Yea, mine too. I wanted to bury myself whilst I was writing the previous chapter. Hahaha. And here's another. Thanks for reviewing.  
**SwaggSurfer**: Ugh! I know, I should have updated any time last week but i'm all caught up. Thanks for reviewing.  
**njhousefan**: I really don't know what you call the ship name of Santana and Kurt but here you go. (:  
**DominoL**: I know, I hate it too. HAHA. Thanks for reviewing.  
**Guest**: I was actually thinking about that but I can't just give them all the fun, right? Thanks for reviewing.  
**Guest2**: Were actually on the same side. Anyways, thanks for your time.  
**laraglee**: Here you go. (:  
**Nova Rica Dutert**: Here you go, don't worry I'm not planning on it. (: Thanks for reviewing.

* * *

It's dark when I wake up.

The insides of my eyelids scratch and scrape like sandpaper as I peel them open. There's the light roaring of the vehicles below the building almost hurting the insides of my ear as I try to adjust my sight in the sudden disruption. I can't quite figure it out as to why I'm alone in my bed and my back felt so cold against the sheets. The last thing I remember was the loud explosions accompanied by Santana's tears rolling down her cheeks before she disappeared in my sight and by that everything turned black.

My heart is soaring as I recall how she looks by the moment those words escaped my lips, her lips were quivering and her eyes were gloomy and dull. The way her voice cracked when she asked me that one question, the way her eyes linked with mine when she took that single step, the warmth of her breath that hit my lips, and the way she looked at me before she finally walked away.

The throbbing of my chest seems too heightened every time I tried to move, and my limbs felt raw like it's about to fall of any second. With a deep breath I took a glance on my nightstand revealing that it's just 3:07 in the morning. And I literally froze when my eyes landed on my phone lying beside it. My chest began pounding beyond normal as the thought of calling Santana, the quivering of my fingers were almost unbearable when I finally held my phone. The brightness struck my eyes when I tapped it open and I can't help but held my breath when a picture of me and Santana appeared.

I literally closed my eyes before I flutter it open composing enough courage for me to type her phone number. It seem to take like forever waiting for the other line to answer whilst I got my fingers clutching the bed sheets until it's practically white. Until the last ring I almost passed out when it went straight to her voicemail and by that the familiar lump once again ignited down my throat, my mouth seemed dry and my voice seemed out.

"Santana, please answer the phone." I pleaded silently propping my elbow resting my back against the headboard. My eyes seemed to be burning under the darkness as I once again typed her phone number, this time it automatically went straight to her voicemail, hearing her voice made my heart flutter and by a split second everything seemed to be fine.

_Yes, this is Santana. I can't pick up my phone right now, I'm probably eating rainbows and pooping flowers, so yea I'll call you later. _Irritation is obviously dripping in her voice, I remember when I ordered her to change her boring voicemail record with this where she almost tackled me but she did it anyways so.

"San, just please answer the phone." I pleaded, my voice cracking with the exertion. With the last ring I heaved a sigh expecting for Santana's voicemail to reach my ear but after a second or two there's the shattering silence from the other line.

"San?" I started with low voice. I closed my eyes when no one answered thinking that it was already disconnected but when I heard a sigh from the other end, my heart started pumping gallons of blood through my brain and I can't think straight.

"San, I know you're there. Can we just talk? Please." Nothing.

"San." I croaked there's already the prickle of warm tears rolling down my cheeks. "I know you're mad, but can you just tell me if you're okay, or where are you? San I'm worried, very. I know that you have so many questions you wanted to ask and I don't know how I will manage to answer those, but I'll try my best. I know that you're all confused and everything… just please stay safe? Please. I love you so much, Santana. You're my everything and I don't know how will I ever live again without you." and by that I disconnected the call, the phone weakly fell from my hand before I closed my eyes trying to throw every single thought blurring my mind out the window.

* * *

"Fuuuuuuuuuck Off!" I slurred when this man in blue collared shirt hit on me for like 4 times tonight and he just scurry out of my sight when I started glaring at him taking a swig of my drink. The bar was pretty empty, actually I'm alone and I don't get myself to care.

What happened is that once again I walked away, I left her. At first I was so happy that she remembers everything and after a second the world stopped and it hit me that all this time she's lying. Why does she have to do that? Why does she have to make me believe that she had amnesia? I'm such a loser.

"Miss, we're actually closing."

"Why do you think she lied to me?"

"W-what?" the waiter asked awkwardly as he tried to ignore me by wiping the marble counter.

"I love her, and she just lied to me. Why?" I whined emptying my glass in one gulp before I wiggled the glass on his face.

"She maybe has a reason." He shrugged.

"What kind of reason will make her do such thing? She lied to me. Sh-she made me believe of something impossible. I'm so so so dumb." I whined.

"It's because you love her, just like what anyone would say that they could do anything for love."

"And I'm one of those? Ha!" I scoffed. "I'm not one of those." I stated firmly.

"But you did believe her."

"I did, and I hate her, so much. I don't want to see her ever again." I managed to say shaking my head in the process. "You know what she actually just called me. I can't even believe myself that I actually answered it- but I didn't even any single word, though." I laughed at the last part. Brittany just called me and I did answer it. I really don't understand whatever she was saying; one thing that I understand was when she told me she loves me. She does? Why does she have to lie to me and all that? "She's worried, and that wasn't new. Like at all. I hate it that I love her so much that I can't bring myself to hate her. Does that make any sense?" I said before burying my face into my arms. Yes, I'm officially drunk.

"Actually it does. That's the worst part actually, you wanted to hate her but with just one look or smile you're blown away and you'll end up giving her another chance." I froze at his words, my head is spinning and the burning sensation down my throat is unbearable. That's what Brittany did when I left her.

When I left her. I did hurt her, harder than this. But still. It fucking hurts! I believed her! All this time I believed her, I've been working my ass off just to show her how much I love her, then what?

"Santana." familiar voice rang through my ears causing my head to snap on the opposite direction revealing Kurt.

"Kurty! Kurty!" I squealed as I waved my hand beckoning him to my direction. I can see that he rolled his eyes before walking towards me anyways.

"Santana, c'mon lets go. I gotta get you home." He said as he slung his arm around my waist.

"No, no. Let's have a drink, its new year we have to celebrate! And we have to celebrate another thing, Brittany- she's lying to me all this time. Cheers to that!" I grin grabbing my glass and groaning when it's actually empty. "I have to talk to her. Call her! Call her. She has to explain everything." I said groggily.

"San, c'mon. You have to talk to Brittany if you're sober enough to even recognize her."

"I hate her, Kurt." I said. And by that the familiar lump built down my throat and I tried swallowing it, swear. But every time I do it just gets bigger making it harder for me to breathe. "I hate her." I choked burying my head on the crook of Kurt's neck. "I hate her." I whispered my fingers clawing on the sides of his coat.

"Let's go." He whispered as he rubbed my back soothingly and by that I relaxed letting myself be dragged out of this bar, maybe that way I'll forget this night. I'll forget that Brittany lied to me. Maybe I could bring myself to believe that everything is not real. That everything maybe is just a bizarre dream.

I can still feel the bitter taste of the alcohol burning down my throat as I lazily watch Kurt fidget the knob of my apartment, my eyes drooping in the process, there's the tears stinging my eyes but I'm really not sure where did all my tears went. All I know is that exhaustion is taking over my body and I needed my bed, or my couch. Fast! When I finally heard the clicking of the cold metal I sighed and sluggishly guided myself inside, the different warmth of my room immediately gave me goose bumps pass my toes causing me to shiver slightly.

"Let there be light!" I said groggily just in time when Kurt tapped the switch and I giggle. "That was fast!" I added walking, well let just say I'm more of tripping towards the couch my eyes completely closed in the process.

I took a deep breath as I snuggle further on the edge of the couch. There's the different scent inside the room and it was sort of familiar I can't just quite figure it out for my mind is kind of foggy right at this moment.

I groaned lightly when Kurt started removing my boots, his fingers were so soft ghosting against my calves and pass my toes before he slowly placed my feet back to its place and I just hummed in response. After a minute or two, I can feel damp cloth being dabbed against my forehead and I just wanted to yell if what the hell is wrong with him and he should just leave me alone, honestly I'm quite curious as to why he was doing this though, usually he would just drop me off and he'll just leave me alone after but right now? He's even dabbing a wet cloth along my hairline and it's the best feeling I could ever feel as of now, really.

"Hm." I hummed as I try to flutter my eyes open. "Britt." I chuckled lightly when my eyes were playing some trick on me, why does she have to appear in every second my life?

"Britt, why? Huh? Why do you have to lie to me?" I asked sleepily, the dabbing stilled for a moment but continued after a second. I felt the light tensing of the fingers just above my forehead and I just chuckle.

"I love you so much. I do, Brittany yet I'm mad at you, like super mad. I wanted to kiss the shit out of you if I could, but I just hate you so much right now. Can you blame me? I believed you, like all this time. Santana Marie Lopez did, can you believe that?" I even let a giggle escape my lips.

"I just love you, why do you have to lie to me?" I said with a sigh. "I did hurt you, that's fair. But I do have a reason. I do! And its way way bigger, I don't think so if it's that bigger but I think so. And that doesn't make any sense."

A soft moan escaped my lips when the cloth was warmer than earlier leaving a wet trail pass my jaw line. I heard a light sigh in response and I can't help the same to escape mine. "I hate you." I whispered lowly.

The last thing I felt was soft lips pressed on my forehead, the kiss lingers quite longer causing my heart to skip a beat followed by the lightest click of the doorknob and by that exhaustion completely took over my body. "I'm sorry."

* * *

And if I'd say that I have a headache would be a major understatement. It feels like there's something swirling, spinning, twirling, blasting, shattering, bursting, and exploding inside my fucking head. There's the continuous pulsing inside which made it excruciatingly unbearable, and by that a loud groan escaped my lungs echoing inside the living room.

With my head still spinning like a fucking roller coaster I tried to move my upper body and I just hissed when my neck made an audible sound. I hate this couch! With a truckload of willpower I managed to take a sitting a position, my feet flinging to the side whilst I got my head spinning even worse, by that my hand went autopilot by the corner of my temple as I tried to soothe it by making small circles with my thumb.

Again, what exactly happened last night? All I can remember is that one thing Brittany told me then I ran away and I'm really not in the mood to think about it further, I may just grab another bottle of tequila that I have been hiding on the upper cabinet and I just can't. There's just so many feelings running inside me and I can't bring myself to add another.

I even winced when I flutter my eyes open, bright lights seeping through the window hit my eyes creating that familiar pain coursing through it. When did I open this again? It took a whole minute or two before I completely absorbed the new environment and with another great amount of energy I get up on my feet and made my way inside the kitchen, with this- I seriously needed a glass of water, my throat is a like a freaking desert. There's the loud squeak escaped my lips when my feet met the cold floor, but I can't really bring myself to care, I have a hung over which is even worse after all.

With my eyes still drooping I managed to stumble through the fridge my hand automatically flying on its handle to contain my balance which obviously I'm having a trouble right now.

I let out a relieved sigh when the cold water gushed down my throat refreshing me from the inside. There's the light quivering of my fingers when I fastened the lid placing it over the counter, and with my brows furrowed, something caught my eye, it's a piece of paper just right by the edge of the marbled counter. I got my mouth slightly ajar and I just abruptly closed it when nothing came out. Kurt is officially being weird, like seriously.

I slowly made my way towards the other end of the counter where the piece of paper has been lying, the confusion inside me even ignited when there are a couple of pills beside it. And yes I love Kurt. My fingers were still damp as I held the paper between my fingers, my eyes closed for a second to regain some composure and I don't know; I think I just needed some of those.

_Headache? Take this but not after you ate something, okay? _

I scoffed a little right after I read the words written. Eat something my ass. I ended up rolling my eyes before popping a single piece into my mouth and made my way towards my room. Maybe a shower will help this goddamn headache.

Right after a quick shower, I felt a little better, my head is still spinning but not that of a bitch and I can actually handle it. After an hour of facing the television and composing myself for like every 3 minutes, the familiar lump forming and tears stinging my eyes, with a grunt I grabbed my phone. I just can't handle all this. It's all too much. I wanted some explanation, no- I needed explanations.

"Meet me."

I slowly made my way inside the coffee shop, the addicting scent of coffee immediately giving me the craving for like gallons of it. The shop wasn't that full, I don't know it just felt new for it wasn't full at all, well maybe because of the fact that it's already afternoon and usually people whose here were just those trying to kill some time. And obviously I'm one of those, actually there's just a part of me that saying I should be here, first of, I can't stay alone at my place without the realisation hitting me hard and I'd ended up crying my eye balls out.

"San, here!" perky voice called me causing me to snap out of my daze and a small smile played along my lips when my eyes were greeted by prominent cheek bones and pearl white teeth grinning at me.

"Kurt." I called back and he waved his hand beckoning me into his direction by the glass wall. My feet seemed to get heavier as I walked towards him. There's the thumping inside my chest and I really don't know why, well maybe because I'm scared about the reasons Brittany might have been keeping from me. I know for a fact that this is Kurt and a lot way different if I'll ask Brittany myself, I don't know maybe I just needed some time to fix myself? It sounds weird, I know.

"Sober enough to recognize me?" he smirked when I finally sat next to him.

"Just with a glimpse of your bow and 99 layers of clothes I know for a fact that it's you, Hummel. So don't worry." I assured him with the same look. "And thanks for coming." I said lowly.

"Satan, even how much you wanted rip my head off and rip all my clothes and burn every single piece, you're my friend and I'll do anything to help you." he smiled before giving my free hand a squeeze. "So how did you caught up last night?" he asked offering me a cup of coffee which I took with a small thanks.

"Yes, about that. Thanks, I mean I still have this ginormous type of headache and I could just explode my head any second right now but it's really nice of you even though it's kind of weird about you doing all those stuff but then I kind of owe you for even staying that late. And the pill, it pretty works."

"What pill?" he asked. And I just gave him a smug smile.

"The note this morning? I mean I know that you're sweet and all but with that note and pill, it touches my heart." I said mockingly.

"You're being weird, San. I automatically left just when I saw you slumped down the couch." He informed me. And by that I froze, my mouth slightly agape and my brows knitted together. "San?"

"That wasn't you?" I asked completely bewildered. Okay, then who was it? Seriously everything of what happened last night? There's a stranger in my apartment. And Jesus Christ, what did I even spill last night? Oh my god!

"Santana?"

"W-what?"

"Is everything alright?" he asked and I just bob my head up and down.

My heart started thumping inside my ribcage as the thought of that person could be the only person running inside my brain since I woke up. Nope, that can't be her, she called me and she just wanted me to be safe so there's no way that she'll know I'm home by that moment.

"Did Brittany call you?"

"W-what?" I countered, I was completely taken aback with his question, I mean I'm quite expecting for him to ask that but not this fast. I was expecting that we could talk about something else before we could talk about what happened yesterday.

"Santana, you heard me. Did she call you?"

I bit my lip and I found my fingers to be the most interesting thing in the world than answering Kurt's question.

"She did. And I did answer it."

"So?" he asked whilst he got his brows wiggling.

"I was drunk, I really don't remember any single thing she said. All I remember was that she wanted me to be safe and the rest? I'm out." I informed him, he just gave me an unimpressed look as he took a sip of his coffee.

"You never said anything?"

"I didn't. I don't know, I can't my find my voice that moment and I have no idea what to tell her. And I'm just so mad at her." I heard myself say, there's the light quivering of my voice with the last words, I'm pretty having a difficulty to find the exact words and that's what just came out of my mouth then maybe that's what I've been feeling.

"San, Brittany- she loves you. And I don't think that she did this in purpose or in order to hurt you. Well maybe she was just pretty shock herself when she saw you after a year, after you left her in your wedding and she was all caught up."

"Did she tell you that?" I said with a light confusion.

He chuckled lowly before adjusting his bow. "Look, nobody has to tell me that Brittany loves you, even a blind person can see how she loves you."

"She _lied_ to me, Kurt."

I saw him sigh running his free hand through his light brown hair. "She did, Santana. But have you asked her why?" he asked and I just stare at him. "See?"

"Why do I even to ask her?" I asked my voice an octave higher. "Everybody knows that she just wanted to hurt me back because I did hurt her when I left the wedding. Everything will just be useless and at the end of the day were both hurt. And I don't know if I'll manage to hear that." and by that there's the fresh tears rolling down my cheeks, with my chest burning I tilted my head to the side trying to stop the incoming tears. "I hate her and I'm pretty sure that she hates me too."

There's the a minute or two of silence aside from the chiming of the door, Kurt's just staring at me, his brows quirked and he got this look- which I'm pretty used to, when he knows that I'm lying or telling something which isn't real on other part.

"You don't hate her, you're just quite mad or disappointed I guess it's because you can't believe that she actually made you consider that she can't remember you after all. But, Santana did you ever feel that she did hated you, like all _this_ time?"

* * *

Quinn lazily clutched the doorknob and with one eye open she swung it open and slowly closed it behind her, their apartment was already dark aside from the small amount of light coming from the living room. She knit her brows together when it's obviously from the television and with the low laughter coming from it.

"Britt?" she called.

She lazily took off her shoes and tip toes through the hallway where the living room is found, the voices and laughter continued with a low volume. "Britt, you still up?"

Quinn just let out a sigh when the voices were from a video Brittany and Santana throwing each other snowballs. It was the year before the wedding and they just look so happy and perfect for each other. The looks they were throwing each other screams love.

She immediately snapped her head when she heard someone groaning by the couch and she almost laughed when Brittany was curled on the couch.

"Hey Q." Brittany muttered sleepily her eyes drooping from exhaustion.

Quinn just sighed before taking the empty space beside the other blonde sighing in the process. She can't help but look at her best friend who once again started watching the home video before her.

"She looks so pretty in there." Brittany commented with a grin. Her cheeks bulging and her bright blue eyes sparkling under the dimmed light inside the living room.

"Britt."

Brittany slowly averted her eyes to Quinn's direction where she found the other blonde giving her some looks. She quirked her brows and the other blonde just did the same.

"She's not answering any of my calls, Q."

"Then try again."

"She doesn't want to talk to me. And I'm giving her that." Brittany said with a shrug. "She hates me." she added lowly returning her eyes back to the television.

"No, she doesn't. Maybe she was just shock and I think she just wanted you to explain-"

"She told she hates me. okay? She doesn't want to see me ever again." Brittany cut her off with a little exasperation in her voice.

"Britt, maybe you're just over reading things."

"Quinn, you know what you should be happy, you could actually slap it on my face that I should have believed you, which this plan will just end up dreadful for the both us. You're right and I'm wrong."

"Britt, you once told me that Santana loves you, that she's making you happy and that's what I've been holding on not to hurt her, like literally. You told me that whatever happens there's this one thing that'll bind you as one, and you know what I'm talking about."

Brittany closed her eyes, her chest tightening along with the darkening of everything. "I love her. But… she hates me, Q. I can't love her if she'll just push me away or even worse she'll walk away. I'd rather lock it inside my chest than not to see her ever again."

Quinn scoots a little and Brittany automatically rests her head against the other blonde's shoulder. "She won't do that, B. She loves way too much."

"I guess that nobody can say that other than herself."

"Of course. But I know that you're wishing it yourself." Quinn smirked and Brittany smiled with a light scoff.

"I'll be right back, okay?" Quinn said with a light laugh when she heard her phone ringing from her pouch. She even mouthed 'Rachel' when she finally held the phone up to her ear disappearing inside her bedroom.

Brittany once again closed her eyes letting Santana's laughter fill her ear with a little trust that everything will be fine. The vibration of her phone disturbed her trance and she can't help but let out a groan, well maybe it's Tina asking if Santana already answered her calls. Honestly she's pretty tired of answering a relentless 'no'.

With tired eyes she peeked through her phone and she almost lost a tooth on how fast she adjusted her seat , her chest even tightened and her heart started pumping blood through her brain when Santana's name appeared on the screen.

_Meet me. -Santana_

A/N: Cliffhanger. I know!This was kind of rush, i just wanted to update so its kind of short and I'm quite disappointed about it too :( What do you think? And let me know whose POV you wanted to read next chapter.

Above all, let me know what you think or what you wanted to happen next.


	22. The Agreement

**Chapter 20 – The Agreement**

There's the thudding of my chest as I let my eyes wander the almost empty road, it's past midnight and here I am, chest racing, palms drenched as a river and I can feel the small prickle of sweat trickling by the corner of my face. I let out a shaky breath when I finally realised that I have been gripping the steering wheel my knuckles practically white, the rushing of blood through my brain causing the warmth of my cheeks along with the deafening explosion inside me.

"God." I sighed letting my shoulders relax.

Right after I read Santana's text message I didn't even get myself to care if I'd get some bruises on my way out the apartment, I have to see Santana, she got to see me, I have to be with her.

I wet my lips when my car finally came into a halt, the deafening silence filled my ear and I can't help but bury my head over my arms that has been tensely resting over the steering wheel, I can feel the burning sensation inside my chest igniting every nerve on fire when I perceived Santana's car on the other side of the road.

With trembling fingers I unlatched my seatbelt, I even closed my eyes to gain some composure on my way out. My arms automatically crossed over my chest when I finally get up on my feet keeping my head down as I closed the door after me. I even jerked a little when the hooting sound filled the empty place making the anxiousness inside me even worse.

The clanking of my boots against the cemented floor echoed when I finally entered the park, it's pretty dark and I really don't know if what does make me anxious this time- the darkness, everybody knows how afraid I am with the dark, even Santana never allows me in the dark for I may have a panic attack, but right now I guess that the fear of facing the woman I love is even worse. The possible things that might happen right after this night for sure will change everything, the things that may spill tonight for sure will make everything anomalous and strange.

I get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach as I let my feet drag me inside, the cold air whipping by the side of my face and I can't help but just hold my breath, I don't think I even brought some with me. I took a deep breath when I just realized that I already came out here but I don't have anything to say to her, nothing. Can I just say that I'm sorry? Can I just ask her that we should just get back together and forget about everything that happened in the past years, just let the fate decide for our future. Can I just tell her that I love her, that my life will never ever be normal when she's not with me? Can I just ask her to forget me? That she should just move on without me? I don't know, my head it's all fuzzy and I don't know how I would make everything as perfect as it had just before it started.

I let out another shaky breath tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and smoothing out my shirt when my eyes finally landed on brunette head sitting by the far most corner just right beside the pond where a small gazebo is found, we used to go here before, if it wasn't our ritual every morning it'll be our weird date night where we will just walk around the park for like 3 to 4 times before heading back to my place or hers.

Concluded that I never felt this nervous for seem like forever, my feet is way beyond heavier than of my own weight as I made my way towards her. Her brunette locks cascading gorgeously down her shoulder it's almost shining under the moonlight, a small smile lingered on my lips when I recalled on how much I've always been telling her that I love her hair so so much. I know that it's not of a long time for as long as anyone can remember the last time I saw her but it seems like forever since I saw her face, her deep brown eyes, her nose, her cheeks, that little dimple of hers, those lips I adore the most, how I miss her voice calling my name, how I miss the times I'd get to spend with her, the remnants of her lips against mine, how her eyes would flicker every time she'll tell me something that'll just show how smitten she gets when she's with me. How she says she loves me.

And the next thing I know I'm standing two feet away from her, her back facing me as she watched the illuminating reflection of the moon on the water. I subtly closed my eyes before clearing my throat, I saw her tensed for a second before she looked up to me, her face seemed to be the same but I'm pretty sure that there's something else.

There's got to be something else.

I swallowed dryly when she scoot a little giving me enough space for me to take, it felt like I'm swimming inside my head as I keep my balance to keep myself upright. Just in time I sat beside her, my right hand automatically ran through my blonde locks just to ease some tension. This is just all too much, I'm sure that it's fucking freezing but here I am all hot and bothered but not in the usual way I get when I'm with Santana, this is way frustrating and I just wanted to end it, I just wanted to grab her wrist and bring her back to my place, well maybe there I could show how sorry I am, and that's not even a choice for now, she may slap me with flying colours if that happened. And I just can't.

I cleared my throat when she also did the same, she's just as nervous as me, that's for one.

"San." I heard myself whisper, and I have no idea what to say next.

She let a shaky breath escape her lips and I did the same. "Do you remember the first time I told you that I love you?" she asked with her voice quivering.

I nodded as I recall that rainy night where all of sudden she appeared on my doorstep, all wet and drenched, her hair in a messy bun and she got her knees bleeding, her eyes puffy and red. The day before that we fought about the smallest thing we never agree on and I don't really get it why all of a sudden we just fought over it, I mean all this time it's either or me that'll let each other slide but then after that argument I don't even think I'll get used to the fact that she's ignoring me. I hate seeing her mad at me, I hate seeing her struggling because of me. I hate it when I see her cry.

"I promised to myself that I will never ever lie to you, I won't ever let anything urge me to lie to you. " she said whilst she got her eyes plastered on the view before her. "And I asked you to do the same."

I swallowed dryly at the last part and I don't know what to say to her. All I want to do is listen and just let everything happen on its own way.

"Right after I took a glimpse of your hair in the grocery, I know for a reason that it was you and the battle inside my chest if I should approach you or not, it's almost unbearable, I'm almost passing out, I even thought that my heart's going to leap out. But then I ended up walking towards you anyways, I'm almost having a panic attack but when I get the chance to confirm that it was indeed you, I know for a fact that I'm back to my feet." She started and I found myself getting lost at her words as I stare at her, she got her eyes closed like she was recalling something before she took a deep breath and continued her words. "-I was a bit confused when you were holding tray of red apples tho, I know that you hate those, so at first that my eyes were just playing with me like always but when you faced me, I saw your lips and your eyes staring right back at me, everything flashed back, like I was back inside the church running away from you. I'm so stupid, that I already saw the glint of anger in your eyes when you saw me, but when you told me you can't remember me like at all- I was alive, I never felt relief in my life since that day. And right after that I promised to myself that I will never ever stop just to get you." she choked, her voice seemed a bit smaller on the last part and I know for one that she's on the verge of crying. I can feel the urge of enveloping her in my arms but I tried not to do so, not yet.

"I hated you, San. I do." I answered as loudly as I can but it came out like a whisper after all. "I wanted to just strangle you, right that moment. But I can't, I told myself that… that wasn't just going to be enough, that would just make everything even worse so the second trail of thought won over the other and ended up saying those. And when I saw that you actually bought it, I was so happy because finally I'll be able to hurt you back, I was ecstatic seeing you fall in love with me in every single day."

"I'd say that you succeed on hurting me Britt, like seriously. You won."

"I'm sorry." I choked just in time the tears that I have been keeping fell just in time the first prickle of tears shines like a diamond rolling down Santana's cheeks. "San, everything that I told you before it's all real, I never stopped loving you Santana, I swear I tried to… to just despise you but I can't. I just found myself falling and falling until I don't know how to get back to my feet without you helping me. and-"

I saw Santana shuffle in her seat before she tilted her head, I just do that when I'm trying to keep my tears from falling and right now I can't do that, I may explode if I'd do so.

"Why Britt?" she asked, her voice went muffled when she bury her face on her hands.

I just found myself staring at her, my lower lip bruising between my teeth.

"Because all this time I'm in love with you and I just can't accept the fact that the excitement that rushed through my nerves when I saw you overcome the anger inside me. I just can't show you that. I'm scared."

"I am too, Britt. I don't know what to do next, I wanted to just disappear. I'm terrified about all… this. There's just so many feelings running inside me and I don't which one I should correct first. I have to find myself and- " Pause.

"Do you still love me, Santana?" I cut her off.

That's what has been running inside my head since, that's what my chest has been keeping inside.

Silence filled my ear and by that I held my breath when she just looked away. My heart broke into pieces for the last time I saw that look was when she left me in the altar. My head felt even dizzier and I don't think I could conclude anything else right now.

By that I nodded and with a deep breath I get up on my feet and just stood in front of her. Without second thought I grabbed her by the chin and I just tilted her head to connect our eyes. I just wanted to get lost in those dark brown eyes for like forever and never get back.

I just needed to.

"I love you Santana." I whispered just in time another tear escaped my eyes before I placed a lingering kiss on her forehead, I can feel her skin burning against my lips and I just wanted to stay like this forever, but her words hit me. "I just do." I mumbled one last time before I finally walked away.

She's my everything and it'll be better not to see her ever again than to have her in my arms with the anger bubbling inside her.

I will do everything for her.

I will.

**A/N: I know! That's why it's under the angst category. LOL.**

**Let me know. (:**


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